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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750830">A Nice and Accurate Whumptober</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adzeisval/pseuds/Adzeisval'>Adzeisval</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:09:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>55,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750830</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adzeisval/pseuds/Adzeisval</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Whumptober 2020 prompt fills featuring Aziraphale and Crowley</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hanging</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley was bored. Very, very bored. She’d been causing mischief up in Scotland for too many years and had moved south to the Welsh countryside.She wasn’t sure where Aziraphale was but wondered if she could cause enough of an issue somewhere to draw the angel’s attention. </p><p>    She came to a small village near the sea and a nice little inn that would make a good base of operations and started thinking of what she was going to do. She was about to head out to start when there was yelling from the back. </p><p>    “I’m sorry, my lord, I didn’t...I’m not...please sir I’m not a witch!” </p><p>    Crowley got closer to the conversation. While she knew there were some witches about and Satanists and, well, demons, humans weren’t always the best at telling them apart. Three men dragged a terrified looking young woman from the back of the Inn to the main room. </p><p>    “My lord, I swear I am not…” </p><p>    “Silence! Father Matthew has heard from several of the villagers that you have been in the woods making a pact with demons. Your mother recovered from sickness far too quickly and your crops have not been touched by blight.” </p><p>    “Please, I…” </p><p>    “We’ll get the devil out of you.” </p><p>    Crowley frowned. The girl hadn’t made a deal with any demon and there was something about the situation that just bothered her. So Crowley followed and watched as the priests and the local Lord interrogated the poor girl. </p><p>    “If you show us where and confess the name of the demon you will be spared. We will keep you safe,” the Lord said. Crowley wasn’t sure she believed the man but this was going to be her moment anyway. </p><p>    With a wave she became visible to the humans. </p><p>    “You have the wrong woman, I’m afraid I’ve been working with the devil and he ordered me to put blame on the girl,” Crowley said. </p><p>    “Bring this creature to the square,” the lord said, “We’ll hang her now.” </p><p>    Hanging. </p><p>    Oh. </p><p>    That wasn't what Crowley had been expecting. She was fairly certain burning witches was still in vogue. Now that was fun, step into the fire and pretend to shriek and then disappear as the people around her gasped. She’d never been hung before. This was going to be interesting. </p><p>    Interesting yes, but Crowley was still a little nervous but decided to go along with it; sure that she could keep from discorporating as long as she knew it was coming. </p><p>    People were already starting to gather, the news spreading through the village quickly. Crowley let the Lord lead her to the scaffold. She wondered if there were a lot of witches in the area or if this was a central location for executions in the area or the place was overrun by brigands or something. </p><p>    It wasn’t blessed at all, or at least nothing strong enough to hurt. </p><p>    Crowley’s hands were tied behind her back and the rope was tightened around her neck. Now this was exciting. Crowley thought over the whole mechanics of it of stopping her neck from breaking, while giving the onlookers a good show. </p><p>    “May God have mercy on your soul,” the Lord said and the trapdoor opened. Crowley felt a sudden sharp pain as her neck snapped and everything went fuzzy. She didn’t have much time to fix the situation. Crowley concentrated imagining the bones in her neck knitting back together. It was working but he couldn’t imagine the pain away and felt the bones grind back into place. She felt his esophagus and trachea inflate as the pressure compressing them ceases. </p><p>    “I don’t think this is working,” Crowley said and watched as the gathered villagers screamed and fell to their knees and two of them even turned and ran away. </p><p>    “See you around,” Crowley said and miracled her way out of the place.</p><p>    Over the next few months she got caught and they tried to hang her a dozen more times. Every time she let herself hang lifeless a little longer before popping up and frightening the villagers. </p><p>    Was it accomplishing anything? Maybe. She could always claim this was tempting people to their side wanting eternal life, or something like that. And if there were any witches or anyone doing witchy things they wouldn’t be caught; all the attention was on Crowley. Either way, she was having fun with it. </p><p>    But all fun things had to end and five months after starting the whole thing Crowley was caught when she didn’t want to be. She was sleeping and they caught her unawares and started beating her with blessed canes. </p><p>    They stung and disoriented her and she couldn’t think straight as they dragged her forward and back to the scaffold once again. But as the stings faded and Crowley came around she saw the crowd and decided to make one last impression before being done with the area. </p><p>    They beat her again and she screamed, more than she really had to but might as well let give them a show. They put the rope around Crowley’s neck and dragged her upward and...oh they’d blessed the thing and it dug into her throat and burned and even though she didn’t really need to breathe her human lungs still craved the air. </p><p>    They dropped her, and then they pulled her up again, and repeated it twice more. Crowley wasn’t bored anymore, but she wasn’t having fun either and now this was really starting to hurt. </p><p>    “We’ll tire you out eventually,” the Lord called out, “Leave you hanging for days.” </p><p>    They lifted her again and this time tied off the rope. Several priests came by and blessed the rope and Crowley cried out in pain every time they did it. This was a stupid idea how long was it going to be before they brought out Holy Water and finished her off?</p><p>    Crowley looked out into the crowd watching her eyes focusing on a figure dressed all in white in the middle of the group. Aziraphale. Oh no, this was bad, she didn’t want Aziraphale to see this. And she also very much wanted to call out for his help. </p><p>    Crowley closed her eyes and tried not to show how much she was hurting. Things were a blur and time passed and sometime during the night she was let down from the rope. She curled in on herself waiting for blessed ropes or beating. </p><p>    “Oh what have you gotten yourself into this time,” Aziraphale muttered. </p><p>    “Angel.” </p><p>    “Can you stand?” </p><p>    Aziraphale helped Crowley up and she wavered a little but was able to keep her feet and follow the angel away from the ropes. Aziraphale had set up, or miracled, a camp in the woods and led Crowley into a tent and got her a drink. </p><p>    Crowley was halfway through her second cup of wine before she could talk and felt a little more normal. </p><p>    “Sorry angel.” </p><p>    “What were you doing? From what I figure they’ve tried to hang you at least a dozen times.” </p><p>    “About that. It was...it was fun at first. Watching the humans. I was bored.” </p><p>    Aziraphale sighed, “Could you find a less dangerous way to end your boredom. They blessed those ropes but what if they…” </p><p>    “I know. It was stupid. And I paid for it,” Crowley said. </p><p>    “Yes well you’re quite lucky I was sent to investigate.” </p><p>    “Thanks angel,” Crowley said quietly. </p><p>    “Try to be careful dear,” Aziraphale whispered back. Crowley slept most of the night knowing Aziraphale would keep watch and that they were both safe. In the morning they parted ways, but Crowley couldn’t get the sight of Aziraphale’s disturbed face out of her  mind. She swore not to do that again, she never wanted to see that look on the angel’s face ever, ever again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kidnapped</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's been a long time since Crowley has been summoned, this time there is an added complication. Aziraphale has been summoned too.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley hadn’t been summoned in close to three hundred years and he had almost forgotten what the pull of a summoning felt like, but as his stomach suddenly dropped and he felt the pull of it in his bones he had enough time to turn to Aziraphale on the couch beside him and call out a single word before he was pulled away. </p>
<p>    “Summoned!” </p>
<p>    Everything went black and he spun around and the world rearranged itself. He landed on his knees which while painful was a good thing because he was always a bit dizzy when he landed. He kept his eyes closed waiting for it to pass. </p>
<p>    It didn’t smell like an abandoned warehouse or a basement or anywhere unpleasant. It smelled...somewhat like a garage. Car oil, tools, the faint smell of some sort of varnish and something else…</p>
<p>    Crowley’s eyes opened and he gasped all but ignoring the circle he was in to gaze at another circle three feet or so from his in which Aziraphale was rubbing his head and frowning. </p>
<p>    “Angel…” </p>
<p>    “Oh...Oh no…” Aziraphale mutered. </p>
<p>    In six thousand years Crowley and Aziraphale had never been summoned at the same time and landed in the same place side by side. </p>
<p>    A man cleared his throat nearby and Crowley looked to see who had summoned them. He was an average looking man, mid thirties maybe, wearing jeans and a tee shirt that looked nondescript but were quite expensive from what Crowley could tell. </p>
<p>    “Well? What do you want?” Crowley asked tired of waiting and wanted to get whatever was going to happen started. </p>
<p>    “You know I wasn’t really sure this would work,” the man said, “And I’m not sure where to begin. You can call me Tom.” </p>
<p>    “You managed to summon an angel and demon at the same time and you don’t know what you’re doing now?” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>    “Oh I have ideas but we have time. I’m more curious than anything. Ever since I found this,” The man, Tom, said. He held out a book, an ancient looking tome that looked like it should be in Aziraphale’s bookshop. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale gasped, “Where did you get that?” </p>
<p>    “British museum.” </p>
<p>    “I thought...I thought I’d destroyed them all...oh no wonder you’ve gone and done this whole thing right.” </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t know what book the man was holding but if it was upsetting Aziraphale it couldn’t be a good thing. </p>
<p>    “Well you seem to have missed this one...what should I call you?” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale, and this is Crowley,” Aziraphale said. He looked like he didn’t want to say that but the circle probably was forcing him to answer and tell the truth. </p>
<p>    “This is wonderful. I didn’t even ever think there were angels and demons. When I found this book it took a long time to translate and I wasn’t sure I had gotten some of it right. The first spell was to give me sight so I could find angels and demons. I didn’t think that was going to work but I did it anyway. Then a month or so ago I happened to be in Soho and there you two were. An angel and a demon outside a bookshop arguing over pastries.” </p>
<p>    “He is rather picky about his pastries,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Really my dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I have so many questions,” Tom said. </p>
<p>    “Well, dear boy, if it’s information you want you don’t have to keep us locked up. I don’t mind curiosity. If it’s knowledge you want we’d be glad to help if we can,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “You will, but I don’t think it’s safe to let you out. Especially him,” Tom said indicating Crowley. </p>
<p>    Crowley let out a bark of laughter, “Ha! I’d be more worried about him.” </p>
<p>    “Well either way I thought I’d better have some insurance,” Tom said. He got up from his perch and went to one of the workbenches. There were two water bottles there, one with a clear liquid and one with a cloudy one. He opened the cap on the clear bottle. </p>
<p>    “I think you both know what this is,” Tom said. Crowley froze. He could smell the holy water and tried not to look afraid of it and was probably failing miserably. </p>
<p>    “Now there’s no need for that,” Aziraphale said, voice shaking. </p>
<p>    “No this is a last resort. I know it will destroy him and that isn’t my goal at all. This other one however,” he grabbed the second bottle and held up close to the barrier. It wasn’t something Crowley recognized but it did smell holy and unpleasant. He had a feeling that if it touched him it would hurt. </p>
<p>    “Well really,” Aziraphale huffed. </p>
<p>    “I’ve been watching you for the past month and you two seem very human.” </p>
<p>    “Well it’s good to fit in and we’ve been here six thousand years,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Do you have wings? Show me your wings.” </p>
<p>    Crowley let his wings manifest and so did Aziraphale. Yep. They had to comply with what he asked and lying was no good. Good, great. That was great. </p>
<p>    “Black and white. A little cliche don’t you think? Can you actually fly like this?” </p>
<p>    “Yes,” they both answered. </p>
<p>    “Wow. Wow this is...so cool,” Tom said. If there wasn’t a bottle of holy water on the bench Crowley would turn into a snake and crash against the barrier and laugh when Tom scrambled back. He didn’t have an idea off the top of his head of how to get both of them out of there. Every other time they’d either rescued each other or the human hadn’t been paying attention and let the circle get messed up. </p>
<p>    “So how do an angel and a demon become...what are you two actually married?”</p>
<p>    “Engaged,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “It’s a long story,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Well I have some more reading to do and thinking. I have a camera right up there to keep an eye on you. Don’t talk to each other while I’m gone.” </p>
<p>    And with that Tom left the room. Crowley risked trying to talk to Aziraphale and then tried to just say something out loud but not directly to Aziraphale and neither worked. He sighed in frustration. </p>
<p>    He moved to the curve of the circle closest to Aziraphale’s and held up his hand against the barrier. Across from him Aziraphale did the same. They would figure something out. </p>
<p>    Tom seemed most interested in history, where and what Crowley and Aziraphale had been and seen. He had questions about when exactly things were invented and wanted to know stories about any historical figure they had met. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale did most of the talking, and he looked like he was having a bit of fun once he got going and forgot that they were trapped and that there was holy water not three feet away from Crowley. Crowley didn’t bring Aziraphale out of his stories. He couldn’t stand the look of stress and worry on the angel’s face when he realized once again the situation they were in. </p>
<p>    While Aziraphale was going on long winded stories Crowley tried to figure out how to get them out. As two days turned into three turned into a week it looked like it was going to come down to the circles wearing down on an accident of some sort. </p>
<p>    When Crowley got frustrated with thinking about getting out he thought of creative ways to get back at Tom. Of course he wouldn’t kill Tom, or hurt him really. He’d just...maybe Tom would suddenly find himself calling women by the wrong names or vomit after kissing, or have ingrown toenails that wouldn’t go away. </p>
<p>    Something like that.</p>
<p>    And every night Tom would remember to tell Aziraphale and Crowley not to talk to each other. They could only say a few things to each other when Tom was there.</p>
<p>    A week and a half into the ordeal the garage door opened and two sets of footsteps came in. Crowley sat up a little straighter to get a good look. A woman stood just inside the door staring back and forth between Crowley and Aziraphale.</p>
<p>    “Tom...what the fuck.” </p>
<p>    “See I told you; an angel and a demon!” </p>
<p>    “You’ve...why are there, I don’t…” </p>
<p>    “Come on in babe, I’ll introduce you.” </p>
<p>    The woman looked absolutely horrified. And like she was trying to figure out whether any of it was real or whether Tom was having her on. </p>
<p>    “Hello my dear,” Aziraphale said as she sat down still staring at them. This was really getting to Aziraphale and Crowley was getting very very mad about it. </p>
<p>    “Hi...uh...I…” </p>
<p>    “How about you show her your wings,” Tom said. Crowley let his wings manifest and the woman scrambled out of the chair and went toward the door. </p>
<p>    “Oh God, oh…” the woman fell to her knees and crossed herself. </p>
<p>    “Dear it’s alright we’re not going to hurt you, you’ve done nothing wrong, seeing us isn’t going to do anything bad,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “They can’t do anything I don’t say anyway,” Tom said. </p>
<p>    “You...oh Tom you have an angel captive, you’re going to go to hell and that…his eyes!” the woman pointed at Crowley, fear clear in her eyes. Crowley sighed. </p>
<p>    “I’m not going to hurt you, your soul isn’t in danger just by being by me. I don’t even do that anymore,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I...Tom this is insane!” The woman jumped up and ran out the door with Tom trailing right behind her. Crowley didn’t like that look on human’s faces when they just automatically rejected him and especially with the comment about his eyes. He desperately wanted a pair of sunglasses. </p>
<p>    “Crowley, oh Crowley we can talk! Oh I’m sorry dear boy,” Aziraphale said.</p>
<p>    “‘S okay. Hopefully she’ll talk so sense into him.” </p>
<p>    “Poor dear,” Aziraphale sighed, “What are we going to do?”</p>
<p>    “Been thinking this whole time. Not sure,” Crowley said. He was about to reassure Aziraphale when they heard yelling from outside the garage. </p>
<p>    Tom came back in looking angry, “I thought she would dig this, she’s more religious than I am. I don’t understand.” </p>
<p>    “Well…” Aziraphale started. </p>
<p>    “And now she’s gone and left me! Over this!”</p>
<p>    “You’re really surprised?” Crowley said, “Most people would think you’re nuts for keeping people in your garage.” </p>
<p>    “Shut up!” Tom stood grabbing one of the bottles off the table behind him and before Crowley could say anything to defuse the situation Tom opened the bottle and sent liquid flying toward Crowley. </p>
<p>    Crowley slammed back against the far side of the barrier but it wasn’t far enough. The liquid hit him in the chest soaking through his shirt. Crowley looked at Aziraphale hoping for enough time to tell the angel he loved him but the pain hit and sent Crowley sprawling on the floor. </p>
<p>    He shut his eyes tight and hoped that Aziraphale wasn’t watching. He was burning, pain flaring all throughout his corporation and his true form beneath. It would be over soon, it had to be over soon. Crowley screamed; he couldn’t help it. </p>
<p>    But it didn’t end. Somewhere in the back of his mind Crowley realized he hadn’t been hit by holy water. It was the other stuff. Still, enough had hit him that it was possible the result would be the same. </p>
<p>    Crowley heard Tom yelling, he heard Aziraphale begging. Crowley couldn’t really move, couldn’t force himself to open his eyes, but he made an effort to stop screaming. He started crying instead, sobbing in pain and fear. He could very well be dying and he was certainly frightening Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    Crowley felt like he was fading, he felt like he was falling, and he felt like he was burning. </p>
<p>    A moment later Crowley felt someone pulling him and felt a hand on his face. </p>
<p>    “Crowley! Hold on, please hold on Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “Angel?” </p>
<p>    “I'm here Crowley, I’ve got you,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Everything was spinning and Crowley couldn’t stay awake  any longer, “Angel I love you.” Aziraphale let out a sob and everything around Crowley blacked out. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Aziraphale snapped and nothing happened. He pressed up against the side of the circle trying with all his might to break through even though he knew he couldn’t. Panic was rising in his chest as the water arched toward Crowley. Aziraphale couldn’t tell which bottle Tom had grabbed. </p>
<p>    Crowley reacted right away collapsing on the ground and screaming in pain. Aziraphale had seen Crowley hurt before but nothing like this. </p>
<p>    “Let me out, I need to help him!” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Shut up, everyone in the whole neighborhood can hear you!” Tom yelled. </p>
<p>    “Please…” </p>
<p>    “Shut up or I’ll finish this off!” Tom grabbed the bottle of Holy Water and Aziraphale’s whole body went cold. </p>
<p>    “No, please. I’m begging you, you’ll destroy him, please let me out to help him, I can help him. Crowley!”</p>
<p>    Tom lowered the bottle and looked at Crowley crying in pain, “I...I didn’t mean…” </p>
<p>    “Tom, Tom please let me help him,” Aziraphale said. Tom was in a daze and thank all the goodness in the world that he listened to Aziraphale and smudged the side of the circle. Aziraphale rushed into Crowley’s circle and pulled the shaking crying demon into his arms. </p>
<p>    “Crowley…” </p>
<p>    “Angel…” </p>
<p>    “I’m here Crowley, I’ve got you.” </p>
<p>    Crowley mumbled something and went limp in Aziraphale’s arms. No. No no no. Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s essence still in his human body. The human body was not in bad condition at all, where the water hit was red and a little swollen but not bad. The real damage was to his true essence. </p>
<p>    “What was in that bottle,” Aziraphale asked. Tom looked at them and clutched the ancient book to his chest. </p>
<p>    “Give me that book,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “But…” </p>
<p>    “Hand over the book now!” </p>
<p>    Tom handed the book over and with a snap Aziraphale erased the man’s memory of the whole thing, then with another snap teleported himself and Crowley back to the bookshop. </p>
<p>Aziraphale deposited Crowley on the couch and reached out to feel his essence. It was there, still wounded and weak, but it didn’t feel any weaker than before.</p>
<p>    “Hold on Crowley, hold on.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale quickly got some salve to put on Crowley’s chest, not sure if it would help much but until he got into the book it was all he could think to do. </p>
<p>    He found the recipe for the demon harming potion and the ingredients were simple enough, blessed items and plants in alcohol. It was inteded to be used to torture demons. Aziraphale flipped through the next pages hoping there would be some sort of reversal. </p>
<p>    The only thing the book suggested was that the torturer should use holy water to end the interrogation. </p>
<p>    “How do I help him,” Aziraphale pondered out loud. He didn’t know if he should get some sort of cursed item or if he could make something with the intention of helping and then it would or if he was just going to have to wait. </p>
<p>    Crowley groaned. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was tired and worried and with a snap he’d widened the couch and laid down beside Crowley drawing him into his arms. There wasn’t anything he could do besides being there. </p>
<p>    “I’m here Crowley. You’re safe at home, you just need to rest. I love you,” Aziraphale said. He turned his attention to Crowley’s essence, still there, still fighting. Weak, but not getting any weaker from what Aziraphale could tell. </p>
<p>    A few hours passed with no change, and then Crowley’s injury began to manifest like a human illness. He felt warm to the touch and had chills, the red skin on his chest was turning into a rash. </p>
<p>    “Well I suppose if it looks like a human condition treat it like one,” Aziraphale said. He gathered supplies, water, aspirin, a cool cloth, and some calamine lotion. </p>
<p>    He lifted Crowley up a little, “I need you to try to drink this and swallow some medicine.” Crowley gave a little groan but opened his mouth and was able to swallow the aspirin and a couple more swallows of water. </p>
<p>    “There we are,” Aziraphale said, putting the cloth on Crowley’s forehead. Crowley frowned and moaned but then settled back down. Aziraphale spread the lotion over the rash hand resting for a moment where he could feel Crowley’s heart beating and the steady rise and fall of his chest. </p>
<p>    “You’ll be alright my love,” Aziraphale said, leaning forward to place a kiss on Crowley’s lips. Aziraphale was glad that he didn’t need to sleep and that he wasn’t in the habit of doing so. It gave him time to watch after Crowley and watch him closely for any sign that he was getting worse or that something else was happening. </p>
<p>    Crowley was improving, if a bit slow. Aziraphale kept treating it like a human illness and Crowley was responding to treatment. </p>
<p>    Crowley’s fever was almost gone by the next morning and the rash was gone completely. Aziraphale sat down in his chair beside the couch and waited. About the middle of the morning Crowley gave a groan and a little jerk and opened his eyes blinking and looking around. Aziraphale sighed in relief and Crowley looked at him. </p>
<p>    “There you are love,” Aziraphale siad. </p>
<p>    “What...what happened?”</p>
<p>    “We were summoned and…” </p>
<p>    Crowley groaned, “Oh yeah, that bastard threw...what the heaven was that?”</p>
<p>    “A mix of blessed items and herbs,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Ugh. That...really hurt.” </p>
<p>    “Does it feel better now?” </p>
<p>    “Much. Still feel a bit weird but I feel better. Thank you Aziraphale, for saving me and taking care of me. I’m sorry I scared you.” </p>
<p>    “Oh, you don’t need to apologize, and you’re very welcome love. You know I would do anything for you.” </p>
<p>    “I know,” Crowley said blushing, “Tell me you smote that bastard.” </p>
<p>    “Well no...I did take the book of course and he will not remember us at all,” Aziraphale said then blushed himself, “And well he may find it impossible to match his socks ever again.” </p>
<p>    Crowley laughed, pushing himself up into a sitting position as he did so and Aziraphale couldn’t help but chuckle. </p>
<p>    “Oh angel, I love you.” </p>
<p>    “I love you too darling,” Aziraphale said, glad that Crowley was on the mend.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Manhandled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley and Aziraphale make a bet and almost instantly regret it</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I do not use miracles frivolously!” </p>
<p>    “My dear fellow you use miracles to get dressed, I think that counts as frivolous,” Aziraphale said looking at the distressed demon. </p>
<p>    “Ngk, well I… you use miracles to make food warm!” </p>
<p>    “That’s not frivolous.” </p>
<p>    “Yes it is.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale scoffed and picked his way around a fallen tree. He and Crowley were walking along a countryside road both heading north from London on the way to St Albans where Aziraphale was needed. </p>
<p>    “Well maybe heating food isn’t frivolous but asking to make Hamlet successful?” </p>
<p>    “You did the miracle dear boy.” </p>
<p>    “Still you were the one who asked.” </p>
<p>    “That was a hundred years ago,” Aziraphale said with a huff. </p>
<p>    “Time isn’t really the issue though is it?” Crowley countered. They fell into silence for a while walking side by side on the road. </p>
<p>    “You know what,” Crowley said, “I bet you that you can’t go the whole way without using a miracle.” </p>
<p>    “Oh and I bet you the same,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Shake on it, loser buys lunch for the next fifty years,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Very well,” Aziraphale said, shaking Crowley’s hand. Both thought it was going to be rather easy, they would be in St Albans by nightfall and if they both made it without miracles it would be good. </p>
<p>    “You there hold!” </p>
<p>    Crowley and Aziraphale froze and turned to see three men pistols drawn come out of the thick forest to their sides. </p>
<p>    “Come with us my lords,” the leader said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale lifted his hand. </p>
<p>    “Uh uh none of that angel,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “We’re being robbed, Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “I can see that, still a bet is a bet.” </p>
<p>    “You are going to regret this game my dear,” Aziraphale said. The leader of the highwaymen approached and grabbed Aziraphale, his friend grabbing Crowley and dragging them down a hidden path into the woods. A half mile or so down the path were the remains of a couple of wagons and two more men sitting next to a campfire. </p>
<p>    “This looks fun,” Aziraphale muttered. </p>
<p>    “Well come on gents let’s see those purses,” the leader said. Crowley tossed his over regretting that he couldn’t suddenly fill it with snakes and Aziraphale had wanted to turn his coins into buttons but didn’t. </p>
<p>    “That it? Really with those clothes,” one said looking at Aziraphale. Crowley couldn’t help but laugh. </p>
<p>    “Well I’m sorry to disappoint but that is it,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I don’t believe you,” the leader said. He nodded toward one of the others at the campfire and the big burly man took a walking stick and hit Crowley’s legs forcing the demon onto his knees. </p>
<p>    Azirapahle twisted his hands, “Truly I don’t have anything else.” </p>
<p>    The leader leveled his pistol at Crowley’s head, “Your pretty friend here won’t be so pretty with his brains all over the forest.” </p>
<p>    “Please I don’t have any more money,” Aziraphale said. Two men came forward forcing Aziraphale to his knees and patting him down for anything. </p>
<p>    “Get your hands off him,” Crowley tried to get to his feet and was pushed back down. </p>
<p>    “This is turning out well don’t you think,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Oh you bastard,” Crowley muttered. </p>
<p>    “Right,” the leader said, “We’re off tomorrow, kill the pretty one first.” </p>
<p>    The gun went off.</p>
<p>    A flurry of movement and a few moments passed. Crowley stood brushing the dirt off his clothes as Aziraphale did the same. </p>
<p>    “You cheated,” Aziraphale said after a moment. </p>
<p>    “How did I cheat angel?”</p>
<p>    “You knew I wouldn’t let you get shot.” </p>
<p>    “Course I know that, not my fault you were faster than I was,” Crowley said with a smile. </p>
<p>    “Oh you serpent,” Aziraphale muttered. </p>
<p>    Crowley looked around at the empty camp, “So where did you send them?”</p>
<p>    “Not sure,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Well, come on angel, I still want to get to the inn before nightfall. “I’m quite looking forward to lunch tomorrow.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed and Crowley laughed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Collapsed Building</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An explosion leaves Aziraphale trapped in the rubble and Crowley desperate to get him out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley blinked. Dust and smoke swirled around him as metal and glass settled back down after being blown sky high. Crowley blinked again. Wrong, this was all wrong, and where was Aziraphale? The angel had been right behind him but looking at the collapsed hospital wing before him Aziraphale was nowhere in sight. </p>
<p>    It had been a nice day; Crowley had driven Aziraphale up north as a favor and was looking forward to a nice drive home and maybe a drink at the shop. Aziraphale had gotten it into his head to come heal the daughter of one of his favorite authors as his minor miracle he had due. Crowley had come along because he was bored. It was fun. </p>
<p>    And then...and then they were walking out; they were at the lobby and then everything erupted into sound and movement and shouldn’t Aziraphale be out there with him?</p>
<p>    “Aziraphale!”</p>
<p>    He jumped up, when had he fallen over? </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale!” </p>
<p>    An entire half of the building was now a pile of rubble, and since Aziraphale was no longer standing beside him the angel must have been trapped underneath it. Crowley had to find him and try to get him out. And anybody else he could manage to get out as well. </p>
<p>    He sniffed and tried to figure out where Aziraphale was. The scent of gas was thick in the air; that was certainly what caused the explosion and collapse. He could also smell something that made him hesitate. He had seen the chapel on their way out and didn’t pay too much attention to; chapels were common in hospitals with humans sick and dying and scared and worried. But there was holy water there; and now there was holy water in the wreckage. </p>
<p>    “I can’t leave him, I can’t,” Crowley said. Even if Aziraphale had already discorporated Crowley had to know. </p>
<p>    The easiest way in would be to turn into a snake; smelling Aziraphale would be easier that way too. Crowley slithered into the wreckage taking it slow and scenting for Aziraphale. He caught the scent and moved toward it. </p>
<p>    He could sense others there too, humans, most of whom were dead. Crowley slithered into a pocket in the wreckage where a bit of poofy white hair was visible. Crowley turned into a human again barely able to curl himself into the little pocket but needing to better assess Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? Angel?”</p>
<p>    There was blood beneath Aziraphale’s head and his hips were pinned down by wreckage and Crowley couldn’t see Aziraphale’s legs. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale gave a pained groan that made Crowley’s heart stop. He started to move and let out another groan and a short sob. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale try to hold still, I’m going to figure out how to get you out, just hold on,” Crowley said. The easiest way would be to just teleport them both to the bookshop and deal with the wounds then. Crowley let his senese wander further out to make sure taking Aziraphale wasn’t going to make things collapse further or hurt a human that was still alive. </p>
<p>    “Ohhhh....Cr...Crow…” </p>
<p>    “Easy Aziraphale, I’m working on getting you out.” </p>
<p>    “Go...go…” </p>
<p>    “Not going to leave you. I can do this.” </p>
<p>    Just then things shifted and Crowley didn’t have time to move or turn back into a snake or do much else besides dive toward Aziraphale. Crowley cried out as a beam crashed into the side of his chest and he felt the painful snap of a rib giving way. He stiffened and waited for things to settle down before risking a glance. </p>
<p>    He could still transform into a snake and get out but now he was the only thing keeping the large heavy beam from crushing Aziraphale’s head. Pain raced through his side up toward his sternum and then down toward his hips.</p>
<p>    “Ngk...Aziraphale?” </p>
<p>    “Mmm head. Think...going…” </p>
<p>    “I’m here angel, I’m here,” Crowley said. He moaned and tried to shift just a little of the weight off his ribs but only managed to make it hurt worse. He needed to concentrate on getting them both out but the pain was the only thing his mind would focus on. </p>
<p>    “Crowley...hurts…” </p>
<p>    Crowley whimpered, “I know angel. I’m trying.” Crowley tried to concentrate on getting them both out but realized that he was only going to be able to do it one at a time. He had to send Aziraphale home first. He couldn’t do both and he couldn’t let the beam on his side crush Aziraphale’s skull even if Aziraphale was going to discorporate from the wounds anyway. </p>
<p>    “I’m sending you to the shop angel hold on,” Crowley managed to gather the energy to send Aziraphale out and away back home to the bookshop. Everything shifted as the angel departed and the beam crushed Crowley into the ground; breaking another rib. Crowley let out a strangled scream. </p>
<p>    As everything settled a smell hit him strong and disturbingly close; holy water. Crowley shut his eyes tightly and concentrated on getting himself out even as he started to shake in fear. With a final burst of energy Crowley teleported himself the book shop landing unceremoniously on the floor. </p>
<p>    “Ugh...fuck,” Crowley pulled himself up half crawling across the floor to the couch where Aziraphale lay motionless. </p>
<p>    “Angel?” Crowley put his hand on Aziraphale’s cheek and felt that Aziraphale had not yet discorporated. Crowley went about healing Aziraphale as best he could, starting with the head injury. Crowley took care of most of the damage that would discorporate the angel. Crowley felt dizzy and sick leaning against the couch and closing his eyes trying to gather the energy to take care of his own wounds. </p>
<p>“Crowley?” </p>
<p>Crowley jerked and opened his eyes, wincing as he attempted to sit up straighter it was getting dark outside which must have meant he had passed out after healing Aziraphale.</p>
<p> “Aziraphale?” </p>
<p>“Come here dear boy you’re a mess,” Aziraphale said, helping Crowley up onto the couch. With a snap from Aziraphale Crowley was clean and shirtless. Aziraphale put a hand over Crowley’s wounded ribs and Crowley winced.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, hold on dear,” Aziraphale said. Crowley could feel a blush spreading across his cheeks and was glad Aziraphale wasn’t looking at his face. </p>
<p>“Thank you Angel,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“I should thank you as well, I very nearly discorporated. You came back in for me.” </p>
<p>“Course I did. Wouldn’t leave you there. Glad I got you out,” Crowley said. Aziraphale smiled and Crowley quickly started to forget the pain he went through to save the angel. It was worth it, Aziraphale was always worth the risk. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever failed to save the angel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Where do you think you're going?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale tries to get away from the other angels to warn Crowley about an attack, but Crowley has his own warning for Aziraphale.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale fiddled with the hem of his toga and he listened to Gabriel talk on and on about the great plan and what they were going to be doing the next day. Gabriel, Sandalphon, and by default Aziraphale were going to be taking out a group of demons in the morning. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale didn’t want anything to do with the morning...raid. He knew Crowley was in Athens and he didn’t know why but he was all but certain the demon would be there in the morning. </p>
<p>    “Now we need to make sure we drive them out of the city. Discorporate them if you can so we can get rid of them for a little longer but I have authorization from on high to smite them if we have to,” Gabriel finished off. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale swallowed hard and looked around. Sandalphon looked like he had already decided to go for the smiting. He needed to warn Crowley to go away and he couldn’t believe he was actually thinking of it in the presence of Gabriel of all people. He knew Gabriel couldn’t read his mind but he could certainly see that Aziraphale was nervous and it was Aziraphale’s worst fear that he would guess something was going on between him and Crowley. </p>
<p>    Friendship. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was friends with a demon and if Gabriel found out he’d be in trouble and Crowley...oh Crowley would be destroyed. It was best to stay away really as much as he wanted to be around Crowley keeping away from him was keeping him safe. </p>
<p>    Except...that wasn’t the case tonight. Tonight he needed to sneak out and warn Crowley. Now if he was in the presence of humans it would be easy all he would have to do would be to wait until they went to sleep and then see himself out and away but Angels didn’t sleep and Gabriel was prattling on and on and on over details of what had been going on all over the world; running through each and every statistic of good and evil he could think of. If Aziraphale were human he would have fallen asleep hours ago. </p>
<p>    Gabriel and Sandalphon didn’t eat or drink there was no getting them drunk and hoping to slip away. He couldn’t think of a way to distract the others and get away and it seemed more and more likely that he was just going to have to hope that Crowley survived. </p>
<p>    “Everything alright Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    “Oh I uh, well you see since I’ve been on Earth so long this corporation...it doesn’t like to sit still too long. I need a little walk,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “You let your corporation control you too much,” Sandalphon scoffed. </p>
<p>    “You should really work on that Aziraphale, Sandalphon is right, but get up if you must,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale got up and left their tent looking out down the hill into the sprawling city where Crowley was. He wondered how much mischief the demon was getting up to and if he had any idea what was coming to him in the morning. Without really thinking about it Aziraphale started down the hill to the city.</p>
<p>    “Where do you think you’re going?” Gabriel called out. </p>
<p>    “I uh...I sense something, probably a human but it might be a demonic spy?” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Be careful Aziraphale, remember smite if you have to,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    “Yes of course,” Aziraphale said. He left the hillside tent and went as fast as he could down into the underbrush outside the city. In the dark underbrush he crashed into another figure who yelped and cursed as they jumped back. </p>
<p>    “Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? What are you doing here?” </p>
<p>    “I could ask you the same. I was coming down to warn you.” </p>
<p>    “Well I was coming up to do the same,” Crowley said straightening his toga and running his hand through his hair, “The other demons, four besides me, know the angels are coming in the morning and are setting a trap.” </p>
<p>    “Ah, well that complicates things.” </p>
<p>    “Right. I tried to get them to just run but they’re out for blood it seems. And they will try to kill,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “My lot too. Authorized to smite. I don’t think I can get away without getting in trouble.” </p>
<p>    “Neither can I,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “What do we do? I don’t...I don’t care to see them smite you,” Aziraphale admitted. </p>
<p>    “I don’t want to see you hurt either. Well running will get us both in trouble so...find me in the fray yeah? We’ll pretend to fight each other until it’s over.” </p>
<p>    “Might work,” Aziraphale said, “Crowley if...if it gets bad.” </p>
<p>    “If it looks like it’s going all wrong we’ll…” </p>
<p>    “Discorporate each other,” Aziraphale finished. </p>
<p>    “If we have to,” Crowley said, “It’ll suck but we’ll be safe and alive I suppose.” </p>
<p>    “I don’t want to.” </p>
<p>    “Neither do I.” </p>
<p>    They stared at each other and Aziraphale desperately wanted to come up with another solution to the whole thing but he couldn’t come up with one. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale!” Gabriel called out. </p>
<p>    “I’ve got to go Crowley, I’ll see you in the morning.” </p>
<p>    Crowley nodded and headed back toward the city as Aziraphale went back up to the angels. He told them he caught a human spy and that there was an ambush which only made the angels more keen on the upcoming engagement. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stared at the short sword he was going to be carrying into the battle and imagined what it would feel like to run Crowley through with the blade. The sword shook in his hand at the thought. But if he had to...if it was between Crowley getting discorporated and Crowley being destroyed he could make that call. And Crowley was going to have to do the same. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale let Gabriel take the lead into the buildings where the demon’s had laid the trap. The front gate and door were wide open so Gabriel led them around the back. </p>
<p>    As the skirmish began Aziraphale found Crowley and they traded blows trying to move to the outskirts of the battle where they could maybe hide a bit better. </p>
<p>    But Sandalphon was going wild and the other demon’s were falling quickly. Aziraphale pushed Crowley against a wall and looked around them before looking back to Crowley. He was scared, but not of Aziraphale, he was looking at the whole thing going wrong and worried about the whole thing coming down around them. </p>
<p>    “Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered. Crowley looked at the sword in Aziraphale’s hand and nodded once. Aziraphale drove the blade of his sword under his friend's ribs, deep as he could manage trying to ignore the resistance and Crowley’s muscles tightened and as the breath was driven from his lungs. </p>
<p>    Crowley started to slump, sliding down the wall but before he sank too low a sharp biting pain hit Aziraphale as Crowley drove his own sword into Aziraphale’s gut. They both pulled the swords free as they collapsed. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was bleeding out, Crowley had aimed well and severed the abdominal aorta. It wouldn’t be long before Aziraphale discorporated. Crowley was gasping for short breaths, his eyes already unfocused and blurred. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale desperately wanted to reach out and hold Crowley’s hand, let him know he wasn’t alone but it wasn’t a good move with other angels and demons around. With a sudden dizzy blur Aziraphale discororated. </p>
<p>    Paperwork took a couple of months to complete but he was given a commendation for discorporating a demon. Once he got back to earth he eagerly tried to find Crowley, hopeful that he had an easy time with the paperwork in hell. Well as easy as one could expect at least. </p>
<p>    They found each other in Greece, near where they had been before the whole thing and there was no bad blood between them, or none Aziraphale could sense as they shared a drink and complained about the paperwork and interviews. In the end it had all worked out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Please...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A fantasy AU; Aziraphale doesn't remember what his home realm is like but going home is the Angel's goal. He knows the Demon's are the enemy but one that they capture is...not what he pictured.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For as long as Aziraphale could remember he had lived in the castle with the other angels. They told him that there was once a war with the demons and that some of both sides had been trapped in this realm when the portals between the two closed, and that the goal of their existence was to get home. </p>
<p>    But Aziraphale couldn’t remember home. He didn’t remember a war. He only remembered this realm. So when Gabriel came in early in the morning and woke him telling him they were about to find a way to get home Aziraphale didn’t really feel excited; he felt nervous. </p>
<p>    “Oh? And...and how long will it take?” Aziraphale asked after the shock had passed. </p>
<p>    “Well, we have to find a prophetess first, she’s in a bookshop somewhere south, and then she’ll have a book and then we get to go home,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    “Ah, ah that’s good,” Aziraphale said. He didn’t know about the whole thing in general but he really wanted to see the bookshop. He liked bookshops and books so at least there would be something to look forward to.</p>
<p>    It didn’t take long to get to the village only a half a day which was too much when one was riding on horseback. They left the horses at the edge of town and made their way to the bookshop.</p>
<p>Aziraphale couldn’t help but gawk at the books in the bookshop. He had never seen so many in one place before and in such a delightfully odd configuration. It smelled heavenly in the room. Aziraphale was a little lost in admiring the books that he missed the first bit of conversation between Gabriel and the proprietor of the shop. </p>
<p>    “...of course I did,” the young woman said. </p>
<p>    “Ah yes I suppose that’s what prophecy is,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    “So when are we leaving?”</p>
<p>    “I suppose soon. Do you...know what we’re doing Anathema?” Gabriel asked. </p>
<p>    “Yes of course. I had a vision of you coming and we have to find a book, a book my great great grandmother wrote that we need to find some sort of key and then…” </p>
<p>    “Then?”</p>
<p>    “Well that’s all I know so far,” Anathema said, “We’ll know more when we get the book.” </p>
<p>    It all made sense to Aziraphale; at least at the moment. If he thought about it a little harder he wondered why Anathema had visions and why did her great grandmother write a book of prophecy that wasn’t here? And...it was best probably to trust that it was all part of the plan. </p>
<p>    “And where is the book,” Gabriel said looking around the bookshop. </p>
<p>    “Oh not here no no no,” Anathema said, “We have to find the Witchfinder Army for that. They’ve had the book since they killed my grandmother.” </p>
<p>    “And where are they?”</p>
<p>    “No idea,” Anathema said cheerfully, “But we should get going or we’re going to miss our opportunity.” </p>
<p>    Gabriel looked like he was about to ask what opportunity Anathema was speaking about but he just shrugged and followed the strange woman out the door with the rest of the angels behind him. Aziraphale wished he could stay where he was in the bookshop. He thought he could live there forever. </p>
<p>    They were just across the street from the shop when Gabriel halted them all. </p>
<p>    “Demon,” he said. They all turned back to the bookshop and watched. A tall slender man dressed in black with shoulder length red hair stood outside the door for a few moments before trying to open it. Aziraphale followed as Gabriel and Sandalphon approached the man...demon. </p>
<p>So that was a demon. Aziraphale frowned. He didn’t look any different from Angels or humans for that matter. He didn’t look evil or dangerous. In fact more than anything he looked scared. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale kept quiet and let Gabriel and Sandalphon handle the man.</p>
<p>    “Demon,” Aziraphale reminded himself, “This creature is a demon and we are hereditary enemies.” </p>
<p>    Still when Sandalphon struck the Demon over the head and the Demon crumpled to the ground Aziraphale flinched and resisted the urge to rush forward to help the Demon.</p>
<p>    Sandalphone picked the prone figure up and flung him across his back and they quickly made their way to the outskirts of town. They were going to ride out to a secluded spot to where they could speak to the woman more and interrogate the demon. That was the plan. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he liked where the plan was heading. Hopefully the demon would speak and tell them what they needed to know. He assumed that the Demon must know where the witchfinder army was, Anathema seemed to be confident that he had some useful information. But the Demon was, well, a Demon and he would certainly lie and try to trick them. </p>
<p>    And if it took too long Sandalphon was going to hurt the Demon. Aziraphale shouldn’t care, he should be happy to see pain inflicted on an evil being but it turned his stomach to think about it. </p>
<p>    They went into the mountains to the south of the city heading for...somewhere Aziraphale didn’t know. Gabriel certainly seemed to know where he was going and what he was doing but then he always did. </p>
<p>    They ended up in a cave. It had been carved into the soft stone of the mountain by humans; quite a long time ago if Aziraphale was right, there was nothing human left there; no garbage or tools or remains of food.There were two rooms, the main room was about ten feet back into the mountain and about that much wide, the second little room was a little less than half the size. </p>
<p>    “This will do nicely,” Gabriel said, “We won’t be here long. We’ll keep moving away from the city there’s a better spot a couple of days from here. But hopefully it won’t take long to get information from it.” </p>
<p>    The Demon woke an hour after they got to the cave. </p>
<p>    “Ah good our guest is awake,” Gabriel moved toward the Demon, “Listen demon this is what’s going to happen; you are going to give us the information we need and then if you're good we can negotiate perhaps not killing you.” </p>
<p>    “And what do a bunch of Angels need a Demon for?” </p>
<p>    “We need to find the Witchfinder Army,” Anathema said. </p>
<p>    “The prophetess I take it?” the demon said, “I was sent to find you.” </p>
<p>    “Yes, and you are the Demon Crowley.” </p>
<p>    Crowley frowned, “Didn’t think you’d be the real thing.” </p>
<p>    “Right so, demon, the Witchfinder Army?”</p>
<p>    “No idea,” Crowley said. Sandalphon took a few steps closer and Crowley shrunk back against the cave wall. </p>
<p>    “Really?”</p>
<p>    “Really, I don’t know I was just sent to get the girl and a book,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Well we have the girl but we need the witchfinder army and they are in league with demons…” </p>
<p>    “I...heard a rumor south?”</p>
<p>    “He’ll get us there,” Anathema said, “I have seen it.” Gabriel frowned but ended up shrugging and motioning for Sandalphon to come forward. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale cringed a little not wanting to watch Sandalphon punch the demon but instead he manifested a pair of manacles with a long chain attached. </p>
<p>    “These are blessed,” he said with a smile and put the manacles on Crowley who hissed in pain in contact with the metal. Sandalphon laughed and Gabriel turned away with a smile. Aziraphale tired to ignore the whole thing, to ignore the demon but it was difficult.</p>
<p>    There was just something about Crowley. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Crowley shifted his hand as quietly as he could trying to get the blessed metal off his bare skin. It still felt warm and uncomfortable with his sleeves between the metal and skin but was better than on the skin.</p>
<p>    Crowley was in trouble. Big trouble. He had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t know where the witchfinder army was; he’d heard of it and there was an older man who did odd jobs for the demons once in a while but...he didn’t have a clue. He hoped that the other demons would rescue him before the angels got sick of asking and killed him.</p>
<p>    The leader, Gabriel, wasn’t going to let him go even if he did somehow manage to stumble upon the witchfinder army. And the other one who had chained him up wasn’t going to be shy about using force. The two who looked like human women were aloof and quiet. The human prophetess seemed at ease with the whole thing and didn’t even seem to be troubled by being around a Demon and a bunch of Angels. </p>
<p>    Then there was the Angel with the curly white blonde hair and a soft looking face. He was quiet but he didn’t look aloof, he didn’t look mean either, he looked more like he was being dragged along against his will. </p>
<p>    By morning the Angels had manifested a small wagon with a cage which they threw Crowley in and started off down the narrow mountain road. It was a warm day and the cart wasn’t as bumpy as Crowley thought it would be but he wished his friends would come rescue him already. </p>
<p>    “Do all Demon’s have strange looking eyes?”</p>
<p>    The human prophetess, Anathema. Crowley looked down and away wishing he had his dark glasses to cover them. </p>
<p>    “They’re not...I’m not trying to insult you over your looks or anything. I just wondered if it was just you,” she said. </p>
<p>    “Not just me. Others have different. Some almost human.” </p>
<p>    “I’m actually really excited about having the book back,” Anathema continued, “It was written by my great great grandmother and I’ve always wanted to see it. The Witchfinders don’t even know how to use it and probably haven’t read it.” </p>
<p>    “Well I uh...hopes that goes well for you,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    They stopped around the middle of the day in a nice shady grove off the main path. Gabriel and one of the others were discussing something and then the blonde was making food. Demons, and as far as he knew Angels, didn’t have to eat as much but he had always liked human food. Well maybe human’s drink more than the food but anyway, his stomach rumbled as he watched the Angel cook. </p>
<p>    He continued to watch as the food was passed around. He didn’t expect to be fed and eventually had to turn away. </p>
<p>    “It’s not much but…” </p>
<p>    Crowley jumped slightly; he hadn’t heard the Angel approach. The Angel gave a chuckle, “Like I was saying it’s not much but here.” He passed a bit of bread, some sort of dried fruit, and a cup of water through the bars pulling back quickly. </p>
<p>    “Thank you,” Crowley said looking down at the food and then back at the Angel. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>    “Thank you Aziraphale,” he said quietly. Aziraphale gave him a smile and Crowley’s heart flipped in his chest. He watched Aziraphale go back to the others before reaching for and eating the food. </p>
<p>    They traveled on and on and Crowley almost wished they were dragging him behind the horses at least it would be a little less boring. </p>
<p>    “Hey, hey angels! Gotta relieve myself back here,” Crowley said. He did have to go, a little, but he wanted to get out for a moment more than anything. They stopped a couple of miles later and sent Aziraphale back to deal with him. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale held the chain as Crowley did his business. </p>
<p>    “You could let me go angel,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale scoffed, “You’d like that wouldn’t you demon?” </p>
<p>    “I would,” he said and saw a little smile on Aziraphale’s face.</p>
<p>    “Come on, we need to get going,” Aziraphale said. He turned and started leading them back and Crowley followed. Halfway back he stumbled, Aziraphale didn’t notice and the chain pulled at the manacles on his wrists suddenly coming in contact with his skin. </p>
<p>    Crowley cried out as the blessed metal rubbed on his wrists. Aziraphale took another step and Crowley nearly fell to his knees. Aziraphale turned and looked like he was going to scoff or yell or maybe even pull him harder, but then he raised on hand to cover his mouth. </p>
<p>    “Oh! Oh I’m sorry,” Aziraphale said helping Crowley pull his sleeves back over the red skin. Aziraphale’s hands were soft and kind Crowley sort of wished he wouldn’t let go. What was wrong with him? Enemy. Aziraphale was the enemy. </p>
<p>    Before he could ponder on it more they were moving again and once back in the cart he tried not to think about Aziraphale. It wasn’t easy; he knew he should be trying to figure out how to escape or how to lie his way out of the situation until he could get back to the other demons but he found that after a few moments of thinking about it his mind would wander to Aziraphale’s soft hands and beautiful blue eyes. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed. No no no, this wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be thinking of his enemy like that, he should be thinking of how to save himself. And if possible take the girl with him. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t know where they were going, it seemed like they were just winding through the mountains to nowhere. He thought the Angel’s lived in the western valleys not in the mountains. There was no one here, human or otherwise and none of it made any sense. And it was confusing. He could of course follow the road out but that would make him easy to track. He sighed. With the manacles making it hard to reach his power he would just have to wait until he got rescued. </p>
<p>    Or until the Angels killed him. </p>
<p>    Just as the sun was setting they made it to their destination. Another abandoned building from what Crowley could see. An old castle. The pine trees were growing into and out of the old stone walls, the inner courtyard overrun with grasses and vines. The left side of the castle had completely collapsed. </p>
<p>    The right side though was oddly intact, it looked like it didn’t belong with the rest of the castle. And there was something else. A thrum of power, the location of an old portal. They left the horses in the courtyard and dragged Crowley from his cage and into the building. </p>
<p>The instant they walked in Crowley was hit with a powerful smell. His throat closed and he coughed. It smelled like the worst moonshine ten times over and he wanted nothing more than to run away from it. </p>
<p>“You can smell this can’t you?” Gabriel said standing next to a pool of what looked like water in the center of the main room. He put his hand in the water and flicked a few drops toward Crowley. He stumbled back and Gabriel smiled.</p>
<p>“Holy Water,” he said. </p>
<p>Crowley swallowed hard and looked around at the Angels. Gabriel moved away from the pool and walked toward Crowley. </p>
<p>“Not much left of it anymore and most of what the human’s use is diluted and pretty much useless. This however is pure. Enough of this will destroy you and if you don’t do as we say I’ll have Sandalphon dropped you in the pool. As it is if you don’t answer quick enough,” Gabriel flicked another drop at Crowley this one just barely missing his foot. Crowley jumped back knocking his head against the wall behind him. </p>
<p>“No…” he cowered against the wall unable to stop himself. He felt himself shaking slightly and he blushed at the realization. Terrifying Demon he was. </p>
<p>“Aziraphale!” Gabriel turned suddenly and Crowley saw the Angel jump, “It’s going to be cold tonight we’ll need wood, and some water to drink. Take Anathema and get us set up would you?”</p>
<p>“Y...yes,” Aziraphale said looking between Gabriel and Crowley with a frown but after a moment he and Anathema left.</p>
<p>“Please...I don’t know where the Witchfinder Army is,” Crowley said, “Truly I don’t.” </p>
<p>Gabriel didn’t appear to hear him; he went back to the pool of Holy Water and called Sandalphon over. Sandalphon had a bottle and filled it with the water. Crowley looked around the room, there was only one way in and out and the two feminine angels were standing there and watching Crowley like a hawk. </p>
<p>“Bring him to the back room over here,” Gabriel ordered. Sandalphon grabbed the chain and it was all Crowley could do to keep himself from crashing to the ground; his legs not wanting to work. </p>
<p>The dark alcove had a door of metal bars which Sandalphon closed behind him. With swift and precise movements they forced Crowley to his knees lifted his arms up and attached the manacles to the wall behind him. </p>
<p>Crowley, in the back of his mind, knew what was going on and what was likely to happen, but he didn’t know how to stop it.</p>
<p>“Now, do you have anything to say before we begin?” Gabriel asked. </p>
<p>“I don’t know where the army is,  I don’t,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“Disappointing,” Gabriel said. Sandalphon placed the bottle of Holy Water before him and with a swift movement cut Crowley’s shirt open.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I don’t! Please...” Crowley said desperately. </p>
<p>Three drops hit him on his chest. </p>
<p>He was on fire, he was melting. He had never felt pain like that before so deep and all encompassing. Crowley thought he might be screaming but he didn’t know. The Angels might have been talking but he couldn’t focus on anything for a long time. </p>
<p>“Back with us? Now do you have something to say?”</p>
<p>“Please, I don’t know where the army is,” Crowley said. He thought for a moment he should have lied maybe it would…</p>
<p>Two more drops, this time pressed into the skin just above his navel by Sandalphon. Crowley nearly blacked out and he came to and vomited on the floor. They weren’t going to believe him no matter what; they were going to torture him to death. He was going to die screaming in agony.</p>
<p>He made a feeble attempt to speak before more pain surged through his body and thankfully, mercifully darkness took him. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Aziraphale heard the screams and nearly dropped the wood he had been gathering. He knew of course he knew what Gabriel and Sandalphon were going to do. Aziraphale couldn’t move. He wanted to rush in there and stop them from hurting Crowley. </p>
<p>But Crowley was the enemy; a Demon. He shouldn’t want to rescue a Demon. Demons were evil; they had been evil in their home land and they spread that evil amongst humans. If the demon would tell the truth then Gabriel wouldn’t have to react. </p>
<p>He tried to concentrate on placing a nice stack of firewood just inside the door, he didn’t want to cross the room toward the hearth he didn’t want to hear what was going on. Anathema’s job was easier and she had enough water gathered to last a few days. She was sitting under a tree looking at the various plants that were overtaking the courtyard. </p>
<p>When he was finished Aziraphale went to sit by her. </p>
<p>“I don’t like it,” Anathema said.</p>
<p>“Neither do I my dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“I didn’t...I don’t see everything. I didn’t see this. I only know that Crowley is important and we need him.”</p>
<p>“He is a Demon, he is probably making it harder on himself,” Aziraphale said softly. </p>
<p>“Hmm.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale sighed, the more he heard the less sure he was. Finally as it was starting to get dark the screaming stopped and they were ushered inside to eat dinner. Uriel was standing outside the room Crowley was in, then as the night progressed it was Michael. Aziraphale didn't think he would have a go at being a guard. He tried to listen for movement, for breathing for any sign that Crowley was still alive.</p>
<p>He couldn’t sleep that night with the strange feeling he was having. He wasn’t much of a sleeper as it was. </p>
<p>“We’ll get him to say something today I’m sure of it,” Gabriel said.</p>
<p>“We should try to hurry with that,” Michael said. Gabriel was gearing up for his session when Uriel came running in. </p>
<p>“Demons! Coming up the hill.” </p>
<p>“Aziraphale, Anathema stay here, we’ll take care of this,” Gabriel said, rushing out with the others.</p>
<p>Aziraphale could feel the Demonic energy headed toward them and was glad he wasn’t going to have to fight. </p>
<p>“I’m going to check on Crowley, if the Demons come you should hide dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“I don’t think they will, I’ll warn you when they’re coming back.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale wished he could figure out how Anathema's prophecies worked and if he had time he would like to figure it out but he needed to check on Crowley. He opened the gate and Crowley didn’t stir. Aziraphale knelt watching Crowley to see if the demon was still breathing. </p>
<p>Crowley was breathing; shallow weak breaths, face covered in sweat, his hair damp with it. Aziraphale pulled Crowley into his lap putting his hand to Crowley’s neck to feel a weak slow pulse. His chest and stomach were covered in welts and what looked like burns. </p>
<p>Aziraphale had brought a cloth and water in and started getting Crowley clean and used the power he could access to help heal. He couldn’t heal as much as usual but it was working a little at least. </p>
<p>Crowley started to stir. </p>
<p>“Easy Crowley, you’re safe,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“No...I don’t…”</p>
<p>“Shh, you’re alright,” Aziraphale hushed. He filled a cup with water and lifted Crowley so he could drink. </p>
<p>Crowley opened his eyes slightly, he looked at the cup and started to tremble. He shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. </p>
<p>“No...no please...I don’t know.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale frowned then with a sudden horror realized what Crowley thought was happening. </p>
<p>“No, oh dear. It’s just water, regular water. It’s...it’s Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>Crowley opened his eyes again and after a moment was able to focus and started to calm down a little. </p>
<p>“It’s just water dear,” Aziraphale brought the cup up again and held it to Crowley’s lips. Crowley took a small sip of the water and stiffened a little as if waiting for the pain to hit. When it didn’t he let out a small whimper and a relieved sigh. Aziraphale lifted the cup again and Crowley drank nearly the whole cup. </p>
<p>He relaxed in Aziraphale’s arms and drifted off for several minutes. He woke again and stared up at Aziraphale. </p>
<p>“Thank you, angel,” he said, “Thank you.” </p>
<p>Crowley drifted back out and Aziraphale sighed. He was frowning. Part of him, a rather large part of him actually, wanted to stand up with Crowley in his arms and leave the building and run away with him. </p>
<p>When the others came back they were going to torture Crowley again. And it was torture. And...and...it was wrong. Even if they were Angels and Crowley was a Demon it was wrong. </p>
<p>Aziraphale didn’t know what he was going to do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Enemy to Caretaker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley has always been the information gatherer in the family business, which happens to be assassinations, but now his brothers urge him to go in for his first kill; a timid bookseller named Ezra Fell.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Crooowley!” </p>
<p>“Ngk!” Crowley jumped and nearly spilt his coffee on his laptop and did manage to knock over his notebook. </p>
<p>“Oh Crowley!” </p>
<p>“In here people!” he called out. As if he would be in any other spot than his computer desk. His brothers knew that, but sometimes Hastur and Ligur could be assholes.</p>
<p>“Ah there he is!” Ligur said entering the room with Hastur shortly behind him. </p>
<p>“I’ve almost got the workup done on the bookseller,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“Good because you’re going to be the one to kill him.” </p>
<p>That time Crowley did drop his coffee and cursed as it spread across the floor and his brother’s laughed. Crowley got a towel and threw it on the mess and looked at his brothers. </p>
<p>“You can’t be serious. I don’t do that sort of work.” </p>
<p>“You should be more in the family business Crowley. Dad coddled you, and he’s not here anymore is he?” Hastur said. </p>
<p>Crowley swallowed, “I...you know I can’t…” </p>
<p>“You do most of the research and planning. You know what Hastur and I do and when we do it. All you have to do is the actual deed. Easy mark too. You can do him in any way you want,” Ligur said. </p>
<p>“I can’t…” </p>
<p>“You can and you will Crowley,” Hastur said, “We support you, have your entire life through all your...life choices. Time you pulled your weight around here.” </p>
<p>“I...I really…” </p>
<p>“Crowley!” Ligur slammed his fist on the desk and Crowley jumped, “You will do this or you will leave here and be one your own. No money no nothing.” </p>
<p>“Right. Alright,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“Come on baby brother this is an easy job. No time limit, not method request, you’ve already done most of the work. Easy,” Hatur said. </p>
<p>“Yep, right. I’ll...I’ll get it done,” Crowley said.</p>
<p>“We knew you’d see reason,” Ligure said. </p>
<p>“A little present for you,” Hastur said, tossing a bag toward him. </p>
<p>Crowley waited until his brothers were gone before he looked in the bag. Rope, gloves, pills of some sort and other things like it. </p>
<p>“Shit, shit, shit!” Crowley cursed. He should leave, take what he could before Hastur and Ligur caught on and run away. Running from two assassins; that was going to work well. He was certain that if he failed hard enough his brothers would kill him. </p>
<p>They were right of course about their father protecting him. Their father was a hard man, one had to be as an assassin to kill people for a living. He had brought Hastur and Ligur under his wing before they were even out of school. But not Crowley. Crowley was taught how to gather information and track people. Never kill. Most would think it was an insult; too weak to be part of the family business, but that wasn’t it. </p>
<p>Crowley looked very much like his mother; or so he was told and his father was gentler with him than with Hastur and Ligur. It didn’t seem like they held it against him but now, now that their father had been gone a few years they could act. </p>
<p>“Ugh, fuck,” Crowley said. He didn’t want to kill people, but well with all the work he did for every assignment he did kill them. Just not directly. He had to do it; had to try he didn’t want to have to start over from scratch.</p>
<p>He picked up his notebook and leafed through what he knew about the bookseller, Ezra Fell, who some mob boss sort of real estate mogul wanted gone to take over the bookshop property. Crowley figured the first step since he already had the information was to scout out the shop.</p>
<p>Crowley watched as the owner of the bookshop fumbled with his keys as he entered the shop. The man was dressed oddly formal and wouldn’t look out of place on a period romance movie set. Crowley left his perch across the street and sauntered over to the window to peak in. </p>
<p>    The man fumbled with the telephone for a moment then went to the desk and sifted through the mess on it looking for something. The man was nervous, twisting his hands several times and pulling at the edge of his ancient looking waistcoat. Mr. Fell, looked like a strongly worded letter would push him to sell, that all one had to do would be to threaten to push over a bookshelf and he would cave. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t want to hurt the man. He couldn’t stand the thought of seeing him suffer or cry or beg. No. He was going to use poison. Something quick. He’d take Fell out for drinks or something, maybe come back to the shop and do what Mr. Fell wanted and all he would have to do was slip the poison in the drink and Mr. Fell wouldn’t wake up. </p>
<p>    Except…</p>
<p>    The man was rather handsome really. Sweet and gentle looking. Crowley pushed the idea out of mind and walked away from the bookshop planning on being there in the morning to start wooing Mr. Fell. </p>
<p>    Crowley’s plan was complicated in the morning when he found the bookshop empty. Well the hours listed on the door were odd so he staked out the bookshop for a few hours. But really it looked empty and looked like Mr. Fell had gone on the run. </p>
<p>    Crowley went around back and let himself into the bookshop. It was dark and quiet and smelled ancient and somewhat moldy. He went upstairs to the apartment above and found the wardrobe there open and the bed hastily made.</p>
<p>    “Gone,” Crowley said, “now where do you think you’re going Mr. Fell?” Crowley took out his phone and looked at the information provided for any clues and found none. After rifling around the apartment for a little while he went back downstairs to look through the desk. </p>
<p>    “I will find you,” Crowley said looking at the papers on the desk. Crowley sat down and looked at the collection of bibles and Nostradamus and the smattering of angel themed knick knacks. There was even a cup with angel wings on it. </p>
<p>    It was oddly endearing and made Crowley smile. </p>
<p>    He found a sticky note with what looked like a flight number on it and a time. Crowley picked up his phone and looked up the flight. Colorado. That made sense according to Crowley’s research Aziraphale had family in the states and if there was property he could hide out in it would make sense for him to head there. The Angel may have run but he had left a decent trail. A little more digging found a deed in the desk drawer that indicated Mr. Fell was the owner of a cabin in Colorado, inherited from his grandparents. Luckily there was a hotel in the nearby town. It would make a good place to stay while looking for the angel. </p>
<p>    Crowley made the proper reservations and went back to pack his bags and snatch his passport. He was going to give the angel a couple of days let him get settled in his hiding spot before Crowley came after him. Best not to spook a target; one of father’s rules. </p>
<p>    Crowley found the hotel to be rustic and a little...old fashioned but it was discreet and the people at the desk hadn’t looked at him too carefully and they wouldn’t remember him. It would work. He planned to go to the bar that evening and make plans to find the angel. </p>
<p>    As it turned out he didn’t have to plan to sneak up to the cabin or walk around town waiting for the angel, he was already in the bar. Mr. Fell was sitting in a booth by himself with a book propped up and a pint of something before him.</p>
<p>    Crowley sat at the bar and ordered a shot of whisky. The bar was nowhere near full so he couldn’t really go and sit with Mr. Fell on that pretnese but as the evening wore on he decided to be more direct; sending a drink to the angel’s table. </p>
<p>    Mr. Fell looked up and the bartender pointed to Crowley who smiled and lifted his own pint. Mr. Fell frowned for a moment then ushered Crowley forward. Time to begin. </p>
<p>    An hour later Crowley found himself snorting a laugh into his pint, “Really, really? You think all music peaked with Mozart?”</p>
<p>    “I do, you can’t get me to listen to anything modern. I just won’t like it,” Ezra said. </p>
<p>    Crowley laughed again, “Oh I’m sure I could find something.” </p>
<p>    Ezra shook his head, “No. I don’t think so dear.” </p>
<p>    The bartender called out the last call and Crowley realized how late it was and that they were the only people left. </p>
<p>    “Oh, oh dear, I should have been gone hours ago…and it was already starting to snow…” </p>
<p>    “If you’re worried I could drive back with you and make sure you get home alright?”</p>
<p>    “Then I’d be worried about you...but if you’d like to come up, probably better than the Inn,” Ezra said. </p>
<p>    “I would like that,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Ezra was a slow driver but with the lack of light and the increasing amount of snow Crowley was actually thankful for it. It was when they were halfway back that it hit him again what he was about to do to this strange sweet man and he felt like he might not be able to do it. </p>
<p>    The cabin was a rustic open floor plan with a loft. The whole thing was covered in tartan and almost more books than were in the bookshop in Soho. It looked like Ezra came here often enough for it to not be dusty and the computer on the desk was old but not ancient. </p>
<p>    “Nice place,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Been in the family for years,” Ezra said. Crowley walked around the living area looking at the books and the old dusty photos. Behind him in the kitchen Ezra was getting out a kettle and running water and rummaging about in the cabinets. </p>
<p>    He bustled over to the desk and Crowley caught sight of something leaning against the back screen door, a shovel still covered in dirt and a pair of muddy boots. </p>
<p>    “Gardening?” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>    “Yes, I think I’m going to need a rather large hole,” Ezra said. Crowley looked away from the boots and shovel, mouth open to question when a gunshot erupted and he was hit in the chest. </p>
<p>    Crowley collapsed to the ground; burning pain shot through his chest and he couldn't breathe. He laid on the floor grunting in pain and gasping for air. His hand fluttered to his chest and he pressed down where there was a hole in his shirt. </p>
<p>    No blood.</p>
<p>    Now Crowley wasn’t naive and he’d worn a bullet proof vest just in case someone got wind of what was going on. The vest was on the cheaper side, but vests were another one of father’s rules. Getting killed on the job was a risk, Crowley knew that, it was how his father had died, but this...was the last thing he expected from the timid bookseller. He’d been shot, and he wasn’t sure if the vest had worked well enough but...but that really didn’t matter did it? He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t move and Ezra had a gun and knew how to use it. </p>
<p>    Ezra came into sight just then and Crowley flinched and moaned. Ezra knelt and ripped open Crowley’s shirt. </p>
<p>    “A vest, tricky bastard.” </p>
<p>    Crowley lifted his head slightly but couldn’t lift it far enough to see anything before the pain made him fall back with a ragged gasp. Ezra patted him down pulling the packet of pills from Crowley’s pocket. </p>
<p>    “Poison?” </p>
<p>    Crowley shut his eyes tight and groaned. </p>
<p>    Ezra stood and leveled the ancient looking hunting rifle at Crowley’s head. Crowley whimpered and shut his eyes tight turning his head to the side. He wondered if he would hear the blast before the bullet tore into his skull. Crowley was crying, he was hurting and scared and if Ezra didn’t pull the trigger soon he felt the anticipation alone would kill him. And underneath it all he knew he deserved this sort of end for all the evil he had done. </p>
<p>    At least he didn’t have to kill Ezra. </p>
<p>    Crowley's stomach lurched and he somehow managed to roll on his side even with the pain and vomit. He groaned and let out a sob curling up on his side.</p>
<p>    “Oh...oh God what am I doing.” </p>
<p>    Crowley heard movement and Ezra walked away. Maybe the man had decided shooting Crowley in the head would make too much of a mess and was going to finish him off another way. Knife maybe. Honestly Ezra could put a pillow over Crowley’s face and he didn’t know if he would be able to fight the man off. </p>
<p>    The door opened and shut. Crowley wondered if Ezra was running again. Then the door opened and shut again and Ezra came into view and knelt next to him and Crowley fought back another wave of nausea. Ezra reached for him and Crowley tensed. </p>
<p>    “Oh...I’m not...I know this is hard to believe, but I’m not trying to hurt you. Well not now anyway,” Ezra finished with a mutter. </p>
<p>    It was an absurd statement and Crowley couldn’t help but let out a choked laugh which hurt and caused him to groan and grimace.</p>
<p>“We should try to get you on the couch, clean you up a bit,” Ezra said looking at the vomit and then looking down at…</p>
<p>    Oh. He’d pissed himself too sometime during all that. Crowley felt himself blushing with the shame of it. Some assassin he turned out to be crying on the floor puking and pissing himself. If Hastur and Ligur found out they’d laugh for days. </p>
<p>    “Crowley...is that really your name?”</p>
<p>    Crowley attempted to speak, “Yes.” He managed to whisper. </p>
<p>    “Well Crowley I’m going to see if I can find some clothes and get some supplies, I’ll be back.” </p>
<p>    Crowley closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. Every breath hurt and his chest felt both on fire and numb at the same time. He was trembling and sweating and he wondered if he was dying. This was not how he had planned the evening and he didn’t know what to feel about it. He hadn’t really wanted to kill Ezra and was relieved it didn’t happen. But now the man who had just shot him, the reason he was lying on the ground in agony was going to get him help and it didn’t make any sense.</p>
<p>    Ezra came back with clothes, Crowley’s own clothes,  and a tub of water and a towel. He laid a blanket down behind Crowley’s back and had a couple of pillows as well. </p>
<p>    “Right,” Ezra said, “If we can get you on your back and get you out of the pants, boxers too, and maybe just get you into some sweatpants.” </p>
<p>    Crowley could feel himself blushing at the thought of having Ezra help him out of his pants but he didn’t want to be in wet pants. </p>
<p>    “I won’t...you can wash yourself. I won’t look. I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>    “Okay,” Crowley whispered. Ezra helped him turn over on his back and they began the process of getting Crowley out of his tight jeans. Crowley was mortified and in agony and he couldn’t even look at Ezra during the whole thing. Worse he had to stop once the pants were off to try to catch his breath and let the pain settle down a little. But it did feel better once he was  clean and the sweatpants were on.</p>
<p>    “There we are that’s done, let’s try to get you on the couch to get the shirt and vest off so you can lie down after.” </p>
<p>    Crowley was only a few feet from the couch and he was able to pull himself up on his knees and basically crawl over to and onto the couch. He remained sitting though he felt a little dizzy doing so. </p>
<p>    “I’m going to try to cut this off, but it’s probably still going to hurt.” </p>
<p>    “I know,” Crowley said. As Ezra cut the vest away Crowley caught sight of the swollen bruising chest. The focal point was the left side of his chest, barely to the left of his heart. Had he not been wearing the vest the shot would have been fatal. Ezra had paused as well. When he started back up his hands were shaking. </p>
<p>    Crowley groaned as the last of the vest and shirt came off and he was able to lie back. He was shaking harder and felt short of breath. Ezra put his hand on the bruise gently but Crowley still flinched. </p>
<p>    “I...I’ll get some ice for it...find the first aid kit. I think you’ve got some broken ribs.” </p>
<p>    “I agree,” Crowley said.</p>
<p>    “I don’t know if there’s anything worse but I’ll do what I can,” Ezra said worrying at his hands. He grabbed an empty basin and put in beside the couch, “If you need to vomit again.” </p>
<p>    Crowley’s hand fluttered over the bruise and he frowned, “Did I vomit blood?” Visions of broken ribs puncturing his stomach entered his mind.</p>
<p>    “No, just the uh evenings indulgences.” </p>
<p>    “Good.” </p>
<p>    “Now, I have to ask, did you put anything in my drink earlier?”</p>
<p>    “No,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I think it best that we call a truce and not try to kill each other for the time being,” Ezra said, holding out his hand. Crowley took it and they shook. It was a silly thing to do, Crowley thought, but it was also somehow adorable even in the situation they were in. And it was good to know where they stood. It would make it easier to rest knowing that Ezra wasn’t going to shoot him in his sleep or slip the pills in his water. And Crowley could barely move so he wasn’t a threat. </p>
<p>    Ezra left and came back with a little water and two bags of frozen vegetables. Crowley winced as the bags went on and started to shiver more. Ezra draped a blanket over him and helped him take a sip of water. </p>
<p>    “If you can keep the water down I have aspirin, unless you have anything stronger with you?”</p>
<p>    “No,” Crowley paused, “Thank you Ezra.” </p>
<p>    Ezra whimpered, “I shot you. I...If you hadn’t been wearing that vest...I don’t know what I was thinking.” </p>
<p>    “Self defence,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I lured you to a secluded location, I dug a grave…” </p>
<p>    “Worked for me too. Might still need the grave,” Crowley regretted the last sentence when Ezra teared up and turned away letting out a shaky sob.</p>
<p>    “Ezra if I die I don’t blame you.” </p>
<p>    “Still I don’t want you to die. We’re stuck here and… I don’t want to watch you suffer,” Ezra said. </p>
<p>    “If it gets bad, give me the pills. No pain.” </p>
<p>    “So that was your plan then? Slip them in my drink, bed me and then we both go to sleep and I wouldn’t have woken up?”</p>
<p>    “Yes.” </p>
<p>    “And how many people have you done this to?”</p>
<p>    “You were going to be the first. Still not a good man. Deserve this.” </p>
<p>    Ezra sighed, “Well we’re stuck here for the duration of the storm and we’re just going to have to move forward I suppose.” </p>
<p>    “Agreed. Sleepy.” </p>
<p>    “Sleep Crowley, I’ll watch over you.” </p>
<p>    “You’re an angel,” Crowley mumbled as he slipped into sleep.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Ezra moaned and put his head in his hand rubbing his cheeks and closing his eyes. He had been on the computer for the past half hour researching broken ribs and signs of internal bleeding. </p>
<p>    Ezra let out a shaky sob. He’d almost just killed a man. He’d shot a man. Oh it had all been different in his mind. Like a story. He was the hero and the assassin was the villain and he was going to outsmart the man and survive. But this was reality and he had almost killed a man. </p>
<p>    He couldn’t get the image of Crowley crying and shuddering in pain lying on the floor out of his mind. At the moment Crowley was asleep or passed out. Ezra left his searching to switch out the frozen vegetable bags. </p>
<p>    Ezra drew back the blanket and took the now fairly warm bag from Crowley’s chest. Ezra winced at the look of the man’s bruised chest. Crowley was breathing shallowly which was going to be a problem. All the information he’d found made it clear that pain control was the number one issue in broken ribs and that if one didn’t take deep breaths pneumonia could be a complication. Ezra wasn’t sure how he was going to help manage Crowley’s pain with just over the counter meds and bags of frozen vegetables. </p>
<p>    At least there didn’t appear to be any internal bleeding at least nothing that was killing Crowley quickly. Ezra put two fingers to Crowley’s neck and felt a steady, if a little fast, pulse. His breathing was shallow but that was due to pain most likely. Crowley was pale but there was color on his cheeks and his lips weren’t blue so Ezra hoped that meant Crowley was getting enough air. </p>
<p>    Ezra put the new bag on Crowley’s chest and Crowley moaned.</p>
<p>    “It’s alright Crowley, you’re alright,” Ezra said. Crowley didn’t wake and Ezra put the blanket back over him and moved away. He paced around the cabin a little. This...this situation was so strange. He’d...he was taking care of the man who was sent to kill him. Really Crowley was still dangerous wasn’t he? But Ezra knew he couldn’t kill Crowley, not now that he had thought of it. The gun...that had been...just a part of the plan he didn’t think about. Now he was thinking. </p>
<p>    Ezra went about trying to do some normal things. He went outside and made sure everything was secure as the snow kept piling up. He made sure there was enough wood inside so he didn't have to stomp back and forth much bringing in the wood. It was well past midnight and he should go to sleep. He looked at Crowley’s bags and decided to quickly go through them just in case there was something dangerous there.</p>
<p>    Ezra found Crowley’s passport, Anthony J. Crowley was forty years old and didn’t seem to do much traveling. There was a folder of paperwork all full of information on Ezra. But there was nothing dangerous in the bags and it wasn’t as if Crowley would be able to move around easily. Ezra stoked the fire and headed to the loft where he was certain he wasn’t going to sleep at all. </p>
<p>    Crowley woke just before five in the morning, with a moan and a gasping breath. Ezra got up and found Crowley clutching at his ribs and looking around. </p>
<p>    “It’s alright Crowley, I’ll get more meds, ice pack,” Ezra said bustling about as Crowley continued to struggle. </p>
<p>    “Oh...fuck...fuck!” Crowley said closing his eyes tightly and hissing in pain as the frozen bag went on his ribs. Crowley calmed after a few minutes but he was still quite clearly in pain.</p>
<p>    “I’m sorry, this is all I have,” Ezra said, helping Crowley take the over the counter pain meds knowing they were not going to be strong enough.</p>
<p>    “I know your ribs are what’s hurting most but is there anything else? Anything you need?” Ezra asked. </p>
<p>    “Just the ribs. Have to pee.” </p>
<p>    “If you’d like you can use the basin here, if you’re not up to going to the bathroom.” </p>
<p>    Crowley nodded, “Don’t want to get up.” </p>
<p>    “Right, I’ll go get something started for us to eat. I know you’re probably not hungry but you need to eat, and I know it hurts but you need to try to take deep breaths when you’re awake or...or you might get pneumonia.” </p>
<p>    “I’ll try,” Crowley said and Ezra left him to get some food going so Crowley could relieve himself in peace. He’d get a washcloth and water for him to wash a little as well. It didn’t take long to fix some scrambled eggs and some oatmeal, both simple things Crowley could take a couple of bites of or more if he wanted. </p>
<p>    Crowley watched Ezra take care of the basin and then set the breakfast spread on the coffee table. Ezra helped Crowley sit up. </p>
<p>    “This is so strange,” Crowley muttered. </p>
<p>    “I know,” Ezra agreed, “But it is what it is.” </p>
<p>    “You have enough food?”</p>
<p>    “Plenty. I was planning on staying here for a few months at least and I prepared for winter. I’m here at least once a year usually in the summer so it was easy to get the place up and running.” </p>
<p>    Crowley took a little of the eggs and oatmeal and a piece of toast and Ezra was glad that he finished what he took. </p>
<p>    “Thank you Ezra.” </p>
<p>    Ezra cleaned up after breakfast was over and Crowley was still awake and staring off into space when Ezra came back in the room. </p>
<p>    “Ezra? What happens now?”</p>
<p>    Ezra sighed, “Well we’re stuck for now. I could probably dig out and get to town if it would stop snowing. I don’t...I’m not sure after that.”</p>
<p>    “You, uh, you’re not going to kill me? Still have a truce?”</p>
<p>    “I’m not going to kill you Crowley. I don’t...I can’t even believe I shot you. And you? Are you going to try to kill me?”</p>
<p>    “No. You’ve been...kind to me. Somehow for some reason. Could’ve just thrown me out in the snow,” Crowley said, unable to look at Ezra as he spoke. Ezra sighed.</p>
<p>    “When will someone realize you’re gone?”</p>
<p>    “Weeks maybe. There was no hurry on this job. Eventually my brothers will try to find me. And if they find out you are still alive we’re both in trouble,” Crowley said. He sank down on the couch a little further and winced with a small groan.</p>
<p>    “Oh what are we going to do?”</p>
<p>    “Could fake your death but then you wouldn’t be able to go back to London,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I don’t want to lose my shop, but...I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder for people trying to kill me.” </p>
<p>    “We have some time to think,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “You keep saying we Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “I uh, ngk, I yes. We might have to work together to both survive this,” Crowley said blushing as he spoke. </p>
<p>    “This is a nightmare,” Ezra said. </p>
<p>    “Being snowed in in Colorado fits the mood quite well,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Ezra chuckled, “At least we don’t have to worry about ghosts or malevolent spirits.” </p>
<p>    “So modern music is out but Stephen King gets a pass?”</p>
<p>    Ezra shrugged, “I was curious as to why it was so popular. I have enjoyed what I’ve read of his.” </p>
<p>    Crowley started to chuckle before wincing and cursing under his breath. Ezra watched to make sure Crowley was alright and not for the first time realized how handsome he was and Crowley seemed genuinely interested in him and oh what was he doing now? The man was an assassin and Ezra had shot him. </p>
<p>    Crowley let out a sigh and leaned back closing his eyes. </p>
<p>    “Do you need help lying back down or is this better?”</p>
<p>    “This is better, more ice?”</p>
<p>    “Yes, I’ll get you a fresh bag,” Ezra said. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Crowley had come to two conclusions when he woke the third morning after getting shot; one he was going to live and two he had a massive crush on Ezra Fell. </p>
<p>    He was somewhat getting used to the pain in his ribs and he desperately wished he had something stronger to control the pain but he was absolutely certain that he was going to live through it. The vest had protected him enough that he didn’t have internal bleeding and he hadn’t gone into shock and died. From what he knew there wasn’t much beside stronger pain meds any doctor could do about broken ribs anyway. As long as he managed to breathe deep enough to stave off pneumonia then he was good. Walking was difficult but it was nice to be able to get up and go to the bathroom by himself.</p>
<p>    As for the second conclusion; the more he talked with Ezra the more he liked the man. He had always thought Ezra was gorgeous from the moment he set eyes on him but he found the man’s personality just as cute. And he was being so kind in taking care of Crowley. Ezra could have pushed him broken and potentially dying out into the snowstorm to fend for himself and Crowley would have deserved it. </p>
<p>    Instead Ezra was taking care of him and talking to him and had even given Crowley his phone back when he complained of being bored. Ezra didn’t fully trust him and maybe he never would but the phone was a good start. </p>
<p>    Crowley could stay there forever and be perfectly happy. </p>
<p>    But reality was going to come crashing down on them sooner or later and they were going to need some sort of a plan. People wanted Ezra dead, people expected Crowley to do the deed and when neither thing happened they were going to be in for trouble. </p>
<p>    “Need a fresh ice pack?” Ezra asked.</p>
<p>    “Hmm? No, no just thinking. About the real world,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Ezra plopped down on the couch, “We should probably come up with a plan. I wish we could stay here forever but...trouble will find us eventually. Better if we face it head on I suppose.” </p>
<p>    “We’ll think of something,” Crowley said. He had no idea not yet of what he wanted to do or what they could do or what they should do but he wasn’t going to give up and run away. He didn’t know if Ezra felt the same way about him but he felt a desire to protect the angel  however he could and though every bone in his body was telling him to run he wasn’t going to run away. </p>
<p>    They’d think of something.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Isolation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley finds himself trapped in a dungeon but it's only a matter of time before he's rescued. Right? (I'm going to put a warning on this one for suicidal ideation and self harm just in case, Crowley gets to a rough place mentally but this angst has a happy ending.)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley woke suddenly unsure of where he was or what was going on. He tried to stand and felt very dizzy and very weird. </p>
<p>    “Oh...shit.” </p>
<p>    He was trapped in something quite like a summoning circle which he wasn’t going to be able to leave. He was chained to the wall as well and the lock was blessed so he couldn’t do anything with it even if he could reach his power. He was underground in some sort of dungeon or cellar. </p>
<p>He had to admit to himself he’d been careless in his latest temptation and he wasn’t surprised that he got caught. He’d play their little game, when however took him came, go with them and maybe get interrogated or pretend to be tortured and he would blink out of it all when it got dangerous and that would be that. </p>
<p>    He would have to file a bad report in hell of course and that wasn’t going to be fun but...well he had a little time before it was due and he could figure it out. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t know why he had the worst luck in that particular area in Scotland but well he always did.</p>
<p>    “Well Fuck,” Crowley cursed and started trying to get out of the chains. He couldn’t break them from his wrists with the blessed lock on it and he couldn’t pull the chains from the wall with the lock dampening what he was able to do. </p>
<p>    He tried for a few hours to wiggle his way out of the chains and then gave up sinking to the ground. He would have to wait. His report to hell was due in a month and they would come up if only to collect him to be yelled at. </p>
<p>    A month. He could last that long. </p>
<p>    And maybe Aziraphale would come find him in the meantime though he wasn’t sure where the angel was. </p>
<p>    There was a little light coming in down through the cracks of the stone and it was enough for Crowley to see a little. He could stand, sit and pace three steps in either direction. </p>
<p>    “Only a month,” he said. Crowley found a stone and made a tally for the first day and wondered how he was going to judge how much time was passing. He supposed the light would go away and come back and he was just going to have to pay attention to it. </p>
<p>    Crowley was right about the light, it was enough to notice and enough to make his tally mark. He paced. He hoped that the priests came down and dragged him up to torture him. Of course if they got the idea to bring down Holy Water things would get bad. </p>
<p>    By twenty days in he was quite looking forward to getting yelled at by Beelzebub for messing things up so badly. </p>
<p>    Thirty days came and he got excited at the prospect of going to hell. Well he supposed he should somewhat like hell he was a demon after all but...really he didn’t and he wondered how many other demons were just pretending to like hell. </p>
<p>    “Come on then, I’m ready to file that report and be tortured or whatever,” Crowley said. It was kind of odd hearing his voice out loud. But he liked it. </p>
<p>    Forty days passed and he started recounting all the tally marks. Had he made a mistake in the change in lighting? </p>
<p>    “No, no, no. This is right the light and the time is right. Must be...something else going on that’s all. Any day now.” </p>
<p>    Sixty days passed. </p>
<p>    “Please, I would really like to be tortured right now,” Crowley said as he paced back and forth. </p>
<p>    Sixty two days in, about halfway through the day, Crowley tried to discorporate himself. He wrapped the chain around his neck in a manner so that if he dropped to his knees he would choke himself and his body would die and he would go to hell. </p>
<p>    It didn’t work. </p>
<p>    He didn’t know why and he tried again. And again. And again. By his estimation, which was admittedly getting a bit off, he spent an entire week trying to discorporate himself without any luck. </p>
<p>    He stopped trying. </p>
<p>    Crowley started counting the stones in the room and tried to pick up little pieces of gravel to hit every single one of them. </p>
<p>    When a year passed he started to pray. It was ridiculous and he knew it. </p>
<p>    “I don’t know what sort of point you’re trying to make God, I’m really struggling here,” Crowley said, “I could use a sign, though I suppose you gave me one when I Fell.” </p>
<p>    Four hundred days passed and Crowley wondered why Hell hadn’t come for him. Maybe this was the torture and he had to admit it was very effective. </p>
<p>    He tried to sleep. He couldn’t. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? I don’t know if you can hear me, if a demon can pray to an angel but please. God please, Satan please. Someone.” </p>
<p>    Three years passed and Crowley only managed to move for long enough to mark the day but it was getting harder and harder. </p>
<p>    “I can’t...do this...mmm sorry. Ngk I...Aziraphale. Angel. Please.” </p>
<p>    Ten years passed and Crowley started to shake after every tally mark. He didn’t know why and he couldn’t stop it. </p>
<p>    “Not. Angel. Won’t come. What. Beelzebub,” Crowley muttered. </p>
<p>    Twenty years in he tried once again to discorporate himself and found the same results as the first time. </p>
<p>    Twenty five years brought crying to the morning tally ritual. Crowley wanted to leave by any means possible. He started imaging holy water trickling down and falling on him and oh it would be nice to just stop.</p>
<p>    “Aziraphale,” he muttered, “Please.” </p>
<p>    Thirty years in and he had lost the ability to speak. There were times when he wanted to; to hear something would be nice but he just couldn’t force any air out of his lungs in a meaningful way to form words. He supposed he made a little noise when he cried but there were no words there. </p>
<p>    Fifty years in he started hallucinating. </p>
<p>    It was Aziraphale most often, come to rescue him and take him away. Sometimes it was Beelzebub and other times it was a priest with Holy Water. Other times it was God there to tell him that this was his punishment for loving an angel. </p>
<p>    Sixty two years and fifty seven days in he had his strongest hallucination. </p>
<p>    There were voices and light coming down to the dungeon and the light looked so real it hurt his eyes and he hissed and turned away. </p>
<p>    “Oh...Oh no.” </p>
<p>    Crowley could tell by the voice it was Aziraphale and it was odd because Aziraphale usually didn’t talk. The figure approached and Crowley felt a hand on his arm and...that usually didn’t happen either. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? Can you hear me? It’s Aziraphale. I’m going to help you.” </p>
<p>    The chains above his head moved and that had never happened before either and then...the chains were gone, the lock was gone and there was a strange rush of returned power and…</p>
<p>    Crowley looked up blinking at Aziraphale before him, “Real?”His voice was barely a whisper but Aziraphale nodded. </p>
<p>    “Yes Crowley. I’m here.” </p>
<p>    Crowley reached out  with his hand, free of the chains and grabbed Aziraphale’s soft robes and pushed further in to feel the solid realness of the angel’s body. Crowley started to shake and tears fell down his cheeks and he drew in a ragged breath. </p>
<p>    “Angel?”</p>
<p>    “I’m here Crowley, oh my dear I’m so sorry,” Aziraphale said, pulling Crowley into his arms. They stayed there for a while, then Aziraphale helped him stand up and start walking out. Crowley was still shaking, he hadn’t been this far away from the wall in decades. </p>
<p>    “I’ve got you Crowley,” Aziraphale said as they walked up the stairs and out toward the light. Crowley stopped with a whimper. </p>
<p>    “Eyes.” </p>
<p>    “Of course,” Aziraphale miracled a pair of darkly tinted glasses and helped Crowley put them on. Crowley followed Aziraphale through the city, still shaking, covering his ears as they walked. Too much noise, too many sounds and smells and too much everything. </p>
<p>    Eventually the noise died down and Crowley found himself in a dimly lit but still too bright room. It had a cozy feeling though it felt safe. He was safe with Aziraphale even if his mind wasn’t working quite right yet. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale led him to a bed and he sat on the edge and watched the angel who next brought over some ale and Crowley took a sip. He closed his eyes. He hadn’t had anything to drink in so long. He took a few more slow sips before handing the mug to Aziraphale. His stomach, so unused to doing anything felt crampy and Crowley thought he might vomit up the ale. He started to shake a little and tried to hide it. How pathetic was he?</p>
<p>    “Would you like something to eat? Or sleep?”</p>
<p>    “I…” Crowley’s brain wasn’t used to conversation. He tried to make it work and think and converse with Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Take your time dear.” </p>
<p>    “No food. Maybe sleep.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale helped him get under the covers of the bed and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. It was comfortable and it was wrong all at the same time. It had been so long since he felt something so soft. </p>
<p>    “I’ll stay here with you, I could read to you if you like?”</p>
<p>    “No...not yet,” Crowley said. He didn’t think he could take the constant sound even if it was Aziraphale talking. Not yet.  </p>
<p>    “I’ll just sit here and read then,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley woke several times over the next few hours each time looking around wildly to make sure that he hadn’t hallucinated the whole thing and that he really had gotten out of the dungeon. And every time Aziraphale was there ready to comfort him and assure him that he was safe. </p>
<p>    Crowley slept for days before he was finally able to get out of bed with Aziraphale’s help.</p>
<p>    “A little food this morning?”</p>
<p>    “Sure.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale set a piece of buttered bread with jam before him and Crowley’s mouth watered. He took it slow, his stomach cramping at first but as he ate it got used to food again.</p>
<p>    “It’s cloudy today,” Aziraphale said, “Would you like to go outside a bit?”</p>
<p>    “A bit,” Crowley said. He put the glasses on and followed Aziraphale out. Still too bright but not as bad with the sun hidden behind clouds. Crowley sat for hours getting used to the outdoors and sound and light again while Aziraphale sat and read beside him. </p>
<p>    That night Crowley took a bath; Aziraphale miracled up a tub and warm water and Crowley eased himself in. He kept his eyes shut tight wincing at first until he got used to the feeling of it and started to relax. And then started to cry. </p>
<p>    “Oh dear. Do you need to be alone?” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    “N...no. Stay.” </p>
<p>    “Crowley I am so sorry it took me so long to get to you. I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>    “Sss okay. You saved me.” </p>
<p>    Crowley slept through the night that night knowing that Aziraphale was there and that he was safe. Everyday it got easier to do things on his own and have longer conversations with Aziraphale.</p>
<p>    “Crowley? I need to go to town so you can come with me or do you want to stay here?” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    Crowley started to shake a little at the thought of being separated but he wasn’t sure if he could deal with town yet. </p>
<p>    “I...I…” he swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, “I’m sorry. Stupid. This is stupid. Fuck.” He buried his face in his hands and didn’t look as Aziraphale sat beside him. </p>
<p>    “Would it help if I gave you more time to think? I can go tomorrow. And you are not stupid Crowley. None of what you are doing is stupid.” </p>
<p>    “You can go to town Aziraphale,” Crowley said after a while. </p>
<p>    “It won’t take long, can I get you anything?”</p>
<p>    “No.” </p>
<p>    “I’ll be back soon,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley sat on the bed drawing his knees up to his chest shaking and at some points crying until Aziraphale came back. </p>
<p>    “I’m back now,” Aziraphale said, “You did so well dear.” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled but felt a little embarrassed about his reaction. Aziraphale was kind about it though and didn’t push the issue. That helped. </p>
<p>    It was slow going, recovery, but as time passed Crowley made progress. Two months after getting out and the sun didn’t bother him as much and he was getting used to the noise again. He could stand being away from Aziraphale for a little bit too. Now Aziraphale could go out for supplies and Crowley would be fine for hours at a time.</p>
<p>    Three years after getting out Crowley found a place to live on his own not far from where Aziraphale lived. </p>
<p>    “This will do nicely,” Crowley said looking around the stone house at the edge of a dark wood.</p>
<p>    “Does seem to fit your...aesthetic dear,” Aziraphale said and Crowley smiled. Aziraphale started to fidget with the hem of his shirt. </p>
<p>“I’ll be alright angel. I know where you are. I...thank you Aziraphale. Thank you,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“I’m glad that you are getting better Crowley,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>There was a lot left unsaid. Crowley wanted to tell Aziraphale that he loved him and that he was the most important being in the world to him and how much Aziraphale truly saved him not just recently but always. Crowley had a feeling Aziraphale was thinking something similar. </p>
<p>    Someday they would be able to say those things, but for the moment it was enough to know that Aziraphale was there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. For the Greater Good</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if the body swap hadn't worked?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale, in Crowely’s body, stared at the tub of Holy Water before him and tried desperately to suppress a shiver. </p>
<p>    “He would have died like this,” Aziraphale thought. Died alone and scared and in burning agony. And up in heaven Crowley, in his body, would be sentenced to hellfire and if it had truly been Azriaphale he would have died alone and scared and burning in agony. </p>
<p>    Michael’s footsteps echoed in the distance and just before they disappeared they stopped and then quickly came back. Aziraphale tried not to look as panicked as he felt. Michael came back into view and hurried over to Lord Beelzebub and the two whispered to each other for turning to Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Come with us,” Michael said, grabbing Aziraphale as Crowley’s arm and dragging him forward, Beelzebub following behind. </p>
<p>    No, no, no. Aziraphale had missed something, something was going wrong. What had he missed? He thought he’d read the prophecy correctly and he’d done his best to act like Crowley and he was certain Crowley was doing a fine impression of him. </p>
<p>    Michael walked him into heaven and shoved him forward to where his body with Crowley inside stood. </p>
<p>    “I didn’t...I don’t know…” Crowley said quickly. </p>
<p>    “I don’t know either.” </p>
<p>    “Well, it looks like you two tried to be smarter than the rest of us and pull something off,” Gabriel said, “Now before I continue, swap back.” </p>
<p>    The two condemned looked at each other and holding hands they swapped back. When they were done Aziraphale kept hold of Crowley’s hand. </p>
<p>    “Now I would have expected this sort of thing with a demon but you Aziraphale? This is ridiculous and horrible behavior by an angel. And for what? In the end it didn’t work.” </p>
<p>    “Well for the greater good…” Aziraphale started not sure where he was going with it. </p>
<p>    “Don’t talk to me about the greater good sunshine I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel. And you two...for the greater good...must be destroyed.” </p>
<p>    Crowley’s hand tightened around his. Aziraphale opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t think of what to say or how he could get them out of the whole thing. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry Crowley, I failed,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “You didn’t. We tried. I...I love you Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>    “I love you too Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “That...that is disgusting,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    “Fuck you Gabriel,” Crowley said with as much venom as he could manage though Aziraphale could feel that the demon was shaking. He tightened the grip on Crowley’s hand. He was going to stay as close as possible to him for the little time they had left. </p>
<p>    “Well let’s get this over with then,” Gabriel said, “We’ll just stand back and douse them both with Holy Water and Hellfire and surely they’ll both die.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale wanted to beg; wanted to beg for Crowley to not be killed but...that would mean maybe an eternity in Hell without him and Crowley wouldn’t want that, or anything like that at all. He couldn’t condemn Crowley to that. </p>
<p>    “I…” Crowley muttered, “Ngk.” He was shaking visibly now and Aziraphale thought he might be as well. </p>
<p>    They were both about to be destroyed and Aziraphale couldn’t think of a way out of it and Crowley couldn’t either. Crowley’s hand flexed in his and Aziraphale thought he might have heard him sniffle a little. </p>
<p>    A demon was approaching with hellfire and Michael was transfering the holy water into what looked like a giant spray bottle of some sort. </p>
<p>    They had precious few moments left. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale pulled Crowley into his arms, wrapping him up like it could protect him from what was coming. It couldn’t he knew but at least, well at least he could show Crowley how much he was loved before it was over. It was late but it was not too late for a last moment of affection. Crowley held him close and wrapped his arms around Aziraphale burying his head on the angel’s shoulder. </p>
<p>    “Sorry,” he mumbled. </p>
<p>    “Nothing to be sorry for my love,” Aziraphale said, “We did our best and that’s all we can do. I love you.” </p>
<p>    “I love you, oh angel I love you so much,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale had his eyes closed and wasn’t going to open them. He was going to hold Crowley until he was gone. He heard movement behind him and tensed.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Aziraphale sat up with a start and looked desperately around him breathing hard. After a few moments he realized that he was safe, he was in the shop, and that he and Crowley had managed to pull the switch off. </p>
<p>    It was a dream. </p>
<p>    “Oh,” he said, sighing. It had only been a few months since they stopped the apocalypse and he was still getting used to his newfound sleeping habits. It was sometime after midnight and he considered whether or not he was going to go back to bed. </p>
<p>    And he considered calling Crowley. It was silly but he wanted to make sure that the demon was alright. If he was honest he wanted Crowley to come over. They had not...well in the dream they had confessed their love before they died but in real life it hadn’t happened yet. </p>
<p>    Oh he knew that Crowley loved him and was fairly certain Crowley knew, but...and Crowley always said he was there for Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    He got up from the couch where he fell asleep reading and picked up the phone to call Crowley. </p>
<p>    “Mmm angel, s everything okay?” </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry to wake you dear, I uh well I had a nightmare and I know it’s silly…” </p>
<p>    On the other end of the phone Crowley yawned, “Need me to come over?”</p>
<p>    “If it wouldn’t be too much to ask.” </p>
<p>    “Can come through the phone, hold on,” he said. In a few moments Crowley was standing before him stretching and yawning again.</p>
<p>    “Oh thank you dear. I feel very silly.” </p>
<p>    “S no trouble. Wanna talk about the dream? Have some cocoa, wine?”</p>
<p>    “Cocoa would be nice, and well it was a nightmare where we didn’t...heaven and hell saw through our ruse and they destroyed us.” </p>
<p>    “Oh,” Crowley snapped and there was cocoa and a pastry and they were sitting on the couch, “I’m sorry you had a nightmare about that. But we’re here. We did it.” </p>
<p>    “Yes we did. Feels silly now.” </p>
<p>    “Something else angel?”</p>
<p>    “Yes I...in the dream when we were about to be killed we told each other. We said I love you and I woke up thinking that we haven’t ever and I know we’re probably out of danger for the moment but...Oh Crowley I love you.” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled fondly, “I love you too angel.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale smiled and relaxed, “That was easier than I thought.” </p>
<p>    “Well it’s been true a while hasn’t it? Just...wasn’t safe. I know we had to hide a lot because of trying to protect each other. We still don’t have to rush anything if you still need processing time.” </p>
<p>    “You’re so good to me Crowley...I...I’m…” </p>
<p>    “No. No you don’t have to apologize for anything angel. Especially nothing recent. We were both stressed and worried and we’re okay angel. We just need to keep moving forward.” </p>
<p>    “I can do that, with you.” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled, “With you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Blood Loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale is wounded in battle</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley really wished that humans would stop having massive battles and he wished that his job didn’t involve him having to occasionally be in them. It was hot and dusty and dry and he was supposed to be making sure there was no water for crusader forces and had found himself caught up in the battle itself. </p>
<p>    He shot arrow after arrow trying to pretend to be doing something useful and wait the whole battle out. Then hopefully he could file a report and be done with battle. </p>
<p>    It was hard to see where he was firing or he was even hitting anything in the dust. He was trying to move to the edge of battle and maybe sneak away when he heard a couple of soldiers making their way toward him. He turned and fired and…</p>
<p>    No. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale. That...no...It couldn’t be Aziraphale. But as the dust cleared a little he saw the figure that he’d shot off the horse, dressed in white with an arrow in his side. </p>
<p>    It was, indeed, Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    Crowley should just leave, Aziraphale didn’t know that he was there and would either heal himself or get discorporated and be back in no time. Right. Sure that’s what had to happen. But…</p>
<p>    He heard Aziraphale moan and Crowley couldn’t help but rush forward, dropping his bow as he went. Aziraphale looked up as Crowley knelt down. </p>
<p>    “Hello Aziraphale,” he said. </p>
<p>    “Oh, oh Crowley I didn’t, didn’t know you were here.” Aziraphale groaned and curled in on himself. </p>
<p>    “Come on Angel I’ll help you take care of that.” </p>
<p>    “Mmm...fine…” </p>
<p>    “You are not fine, come on,” Crowley helped pull Aziraphale up and wrapped his arm around his waist and helped him walk forward. Aziraphale was breathing heavily and groaning and Crowley hadn’t thought the arrow had hit a bad spot.</p>
<p>    At the edge of the battlefield Crowley realized that he wasn’t really leading Aziraphale anywhere in particular and teleported them to a safer spot, a tent where he could work out why a single arrow was causing Aziraphale so much trouble. The arrows were human and Crowley hadn’t cursed them or anything. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale slumped onto the straw mat and Crowley’s heart jumped in his chest. </p>
<p>    “Oh. Think I’m...several wounds,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Your corporation is losing a lot of blood,” Crowley said. He helped Aziraphale out of his armor, Aziraphale’s arms were heavy and his movement clumsy and awkward. </p>
<p>    “Might discorporate,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Try to stay awake Aziraphale,” Crowley said. His voice was a little shaky as he looked at Aziraphale’s wounds. The arrow really hadn’t done much damage after all but Crowley winced in sympathy as Aziraphale tensed and groaned as the arrow came out. </p>
<p>    Crowley helped Aziraphale out of the top of his robe and undershirt to look at the main wound. Crowley sucked in a breath. He could see, oh that wasn’t right, he could see Aziraphale’s guts peaking out of the deep gash. </p>
<p>    “I’m going to try to heal you and this is probably going to hurt,” Crowley said swallowing hard and hoping that he could help. He desperately wanted to help. </p>
<p>    “Can’t heal, demon.” </p>
<p>    “I can,” said Crowley though he really wasn’t sure that he could, well not an angel. He’d healed himself, he’d even done some minor healing on humans. It wasn’t that he couldn’t heal and help, he just wasn’t supposed to. </p>
<p>    “Hurts.” </p>
<p>    “I know, just hold on I’ll help you,” Crowley said. His hands hovered over the wound he would have to touch Aziraphale to heal it. Now he knew touching Aziraphale wouldn’t hurt him in so far as him being a demon, it was going to hurt in the regular way. </p>
<p>    Sure enough he put his hand on Aziraphale’s wound and Aziraphale cried out in pain. Crowley was shaking as he put his power into healing the angel. Aziraphale tensed and cried out and all but told Crowley to stop. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was panting and breathing heavily shaking and crying. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry, I’m done you’re healed,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Mmm healed?” </p>
<p>    “Yes.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale muttered something then promptly passed out. Crowley watched as Aziraphale’s corporation went into the automatic process of breathing and it looked like the angel was safe from discorporation. </p>
<p>    Crowley manifested some water and a cloth and went about cleaning the blood from the healed wound and Aziraphale’s skin. He healed the small wound from the arrow, then checked to  make sure that the angel had no other wounds. To finish it off he snapped away all the dirty clothes and rags and miracled new clothes for Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “There we are angel, you’ll be safe now,” Crowley said. He stayed in the tent to watch Aziraphale while he slept, planning on leaving when Aziraphale woke. </p>
<p>    Crowley enjoyed being able to take care of Aziraphale and being able to do something helpful and kind. He knew it was wrong for a demon to do that especially to an angel but he could find no other explanation for the fondness and relief he was feeling watching the angel healed and free of pain. </p>
<p>    He liked Aziraphale. There was no denying it now that he liked being around the angel and wanted to be near him more often. It was dangerous though so he would have to enjoy this moment. Crowley had to try to ignore the fact that Aziraphale was wounded and crying in pain at the start of it but well it had ended well hadn’t it. </p>
<p>    Oh but this was going to be trouble if it kept going this way. If he wanted to be close to Aziraphale. But he couldn’t help it. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale wasn’t out for long. He stirred and opened his eyes with a little gasp.</p>
<p>    “What...Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “You got hurt, I...uh...helped you get away from the battle. You passed out.” </p>
<p>    “Oh. Oh yes. Seems I’m all healed.” </p>
<p>    “Yep,” Crowley said, wondering how much of the details that Aziraphale remembered. </p>
<p>    “The battle?”</p>
<p>    “Over by now I’m sure.” </p>
<p>    “Oh. I uh suppose we should get back to what we were doing,” Aziraphale said. He got up and gathered his things and Crowley watched to make sure he was alright. He looked to be back to normal though a little confused. </p>
<p>    “Right, right. Uh too dangerous to stay like this,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale nodded opening up the flap of the tent before looking back at Crowley, “Crowley...thank you.” With that Aziraphale was gone and Crowley’s heart both burst and hurt from the whole thing. </p>
<p>    He knew Aziraphale had to process what just happened, to realize that Crowley, a demon, had healed him and what that might mean. </p>
<p>    Crowley on the other hand knew what it meant and knew no matter how much it hurt that he had to keep it a secret; he was in love with an angel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Crying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's a lot of things to learn about human bodies and emotions; crying is one of them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At first Aziraphale had a hard time adjusting to his corporeal form. It was strange to be so physical and it felt like wearing a strange body more than anything. But he had to make do with it and he started to watch the humans to see how they used their bodies. </p>
<p>    He watched Adam and Eve as they walked and explored the garden and Aziraphale learned how best to make his body move. He sensed their breathing and their heartbeats and mimicked those as well. He watched as the humans began eating and he got curious enough to try a bite of fruit. It was good and he thought he might get used to doing such a thing to blend in if he needed to. </p>
<p>    Then the serpent entered the garden and things changed. </p>
<p>    The first time Aziraphale saw a human cry he thought she was dying. It looked painful and uncomfortable and something to avoid at all cost and not do, though he was sure his body was capable of it. </p>
<p>    Humans cried for many reasons Aziraphale realized as he watched them as there were more and more of them. They cried when they were sad, they cried when they were happy, and they cried when they were frustrated. And another thing Aziraphale began to learn; it seemed to help. Crying still looked messy and uncomfortable but after the fact the person who had been crying calmed down. It was a release of sorts.</p>
<p>    It looked, well it looked like it worked. </p>
<p>    It wasn’t until the Almighty sent the flood that Aziraphale first cried. There was so much emotion going through Aziraphale’s mind; he saw the horror in the humans that were not on the ark, he saw some of Noah’s family cry, there was just so much pain and death happening all at once that Aziraphale cried. </p>
<p>    “Well done Aziraphale, the ark is a success,” Gabriel said with a smile. </p>
<p>    “Ah, yes it was rather. All...all according to the great plan,” Aziraphale said. He couldn’t believe that Gabriel was so...happy. So many people just died. </p>
<p>    “Now I’m sorry to say you’ll be stuck here for another thirty five days until it starts to recede, and maybe a little longer, then we’ll have a meeting and a report,” Gabriel said with another smile, “All good?” </p>
<p>    “Yes Gabriel, thank you for the direction,” Aziraphale said, forcing himself to smile until Gabriel left. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale found a nice quiet corner of the ark, which was very hard to do with all the animals and sat down. How could Gabriel smile? How could he be so flippant when so many had died? Aziraphale didn’t doubt the plan; he knew the Almighty had reasons and that he didn’t need to understand what they were to do his job. But it still made him sad. </p>
<p>    He felt the emotion welling up and...he cried. Tears came from his eyes and he started breathing hard and making little sobbing noises. So many people gone. It was righteous and Holy Aziraphale believed but it was also horrible and sad and how on earth could Gabriel smile?</p>
<p>    Aziraphale cried for a good ten minutes letting tears drip down his face until the sobs stopped and he started to breathe normally again. It was messy and a little gross and...oh he felt so much better. The humans were on to something about crying. It did rather clear the mind and Aziraphale thought it might happen again. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Crowley liked to mimic what the humans did. He liked experimenting with the new clothes that they made and trying food and especially drink. Music was a good thing in Crowley’s mind.</p>
<p>    He could mimic the smiles and laughs and oh laughing was fun. There was a lot to laugh at in the world. No one laughed in hell or if they did it was at horrible things and Crowley didn’t like being there if he could help it. </p>
<p>    Human emotions could be difficult though. At first Crowley wasn’t sure about what he thought about crying. It looked like the humans felt better or at least not as bad when it was over but it just looked so...vulnerable. </p>
<p>    If anyone in hell caught him crying he’d be made to stay in hell for certain. They would think he was broken or defective somehow and retrain him or something. So he avoided doing it for as long as he could. </p>
<p>    But the more time he spent with the humans the more of their emotions he picked up. </p>
<p>    The first time he cried was the first time he saw a child die. He knew that it happened and had seen the graves and funerals and the parents crying and it was sad but he was able to stop any instinct to copy the crying. </p>
<p>    He had been staying in the village for ten years or so waiting for his next mission. It was a nice small village with plenty of sunny spots to rest and no one who looked at him funny because of his eyes. </p>
<p>    Crowley watched Mira be born; her mother had been so happy to have a daughter after given birth to three sons. Mira was a mischievous child who was curious and asked so many questions. Crowley saw himself a bit in the young girl. </p>
<p>    Crowley wasn’t there when she got hurt. She had been leaning too far into an old well and had fallen in. They managed to pull her out of the well and get her home before she died. She had fractured her skull and died in her mother’s arms. </p>
<p>    Crowley arrived just as the girl’s soul left her body. He heard her mother’s first wail and watched her clutch the small lifeless body to her chest. </p>
<p>    It was too much. Crowley backed away running as far as he could before he broke down and started to cry. He sobbed and mourned the loss of the little girl. He knew human’s died, he had seen others do so but...oh this one hurt and she had been so young. </p>
<p>    Crowley sobbed and cried and when all was said and done he felt more than a little numb and maybe a little better. He understood why humans did it and now that he had done it himself he didn’t think he would be able to stop it in the future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Broken Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale is in an odd mood, Crowley tries to help</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley watched as Aziraphale pushed around the last bit of his crepe and frowned. Aziraphale had been acting a little distant all day, but this...this meant that it was something serious. Crowley frowned harder and swallowed. Had he done something wrong? Crowley didn’t think so he hadn’t seen Aziraphale in twenty years or so and they had parted on good terms at the end of their last lunch. Or so he thought. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    “Hmm, sorry my dear were you saying something?”</p>
<p>    “No, but...is there something wrong Angel?”</p>
<p>    “Wrong? Oh, no. Well not really I suppose.”</p>
<p>    “Not really? Angel you haven’t finished your crepes and haven’t spoken very much. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale looked at the crepes and the fork in his hand, setting it down and putting his napkin over the remains of the crepes. </p>
<p>    “I got discorporated recently,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Oh, sorry to hear it. Bad one?”</p>
<p>    “Rather,” Aziraphale said. Well that went some way to explain what was going on. Going through the process of discorporation and getting a new body was never a pleasant experience. There was a lot of paperwork and explaining and performance reviews and quite often yelling; at least in Crowley’s case. Still he and Aziraphale had both been discorporated often enough that he wouldn’t expect such a severe reaction from his friend. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “I think I’m done.” Aziraphale hadn’t insinuated that their day was over so Crowley walked with the Angel through the streets of London and back to the bookshop. </p>
<p>    “Come in for a drink? I’ve got a nice whisky,” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    “Sure angel,” Crowley said following Aziraphale into the bookshop. Maybe with a few drinks in him he would divulge what had been so bad about the recent discorporation. Or maybe his performance review. It couldn’t be that bad though if Aziraphale was speaking to him. But maybe he was building up to telling Crowley that things had gotten too close and they needed to stop meeting up. </p>
<p>    Crowley wasn’t sure what he would do if Aziraphale insisted they part ways, stop the arrangement. It would break his heart. It would break Aziraphale’s too. Crowley took a deep breath and a long swig of whisky. </p>
<p>    “Can I...can I ask you something?” Aziraphale wouldn’t look up at Crowley swirling the whisky in his glass. </p>
<p>    “Course.” </p>
<p>    “How long has it been since you were last discorporated?”</p>
<p>    “Oh, uh. Hmm. First world war? Got gassed. Not pleasant.”</p>
<p>    “So it uh, hurt?”</p>
<p>    “Course it hurt angel, always hurts. Does it not hurt for angels?”</p>
<p>    “Oh it does. But uh, it...it seems to hurt more. Now. I seem to have a harder time letting go of the corporation as well,” Aziraphale admitted taking his glass and draining the whisky in one large swig. </p>
<p>    “Not just you, I’ve noticed that as well.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale perked up at that sitting up straighter, a hopeful smile playing on his face, “Oh! Oh well I thought, well I thought it was just me. That I was doing something wrong, that, well perhaps it was my fault or a...punishment for being a nuisance.” </p>
<p>    Crowley shook his head, “No. Get’s harder the longer we’re in these corporations, longer we’re on Earth. Least I think so. And those wankers shouldn’t get on your case, you don’t discorporate often enough to be a nuisance.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale relaxed and the tightness in his face eased, “I’m glad it’s not just me. Not that I like the idea of you in pain my dear. Just nice to not be alone in this issue.” </p>
<p>    “Makes sense I suppose, the longer we’re here the more attached we are in our corporations. We use them to interact with the earth, eat and drink, listen to music, all sorts of things,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Yes it rather does make sense,” Aziraphale said, taking the bottle for whisky from the table and pouring it for both of them. Crowley smiled relaxing into the couch as Aziraphale settled into his chair. Crowley was glad to see the tension leave the angel, glad to see his contented wiggle as he settled into the chair, glad for the smiles. It would be a good night then; Aziraphale wasn’t about to end their arraignment, neither were in trouble and Crowley could enjoy the good company and good whisky. </p>
<p>    Crowley relaxed even further, melting into the couch and listening to Aziraphale talk about a new restaurant he wanted to try and the current state of horseless travel. </p>
<p>    “Too many cars these days and the trains may have been noisy but better than being bucked off by a horse,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “That is true I suppose. Never really got the hang of horses,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Design flaw I tell you,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “And you don’t think...that this...corporation issue is a design flaw? We’re not broken.” </p>
<p>    “Nah, just happens cause we’re us you know? Been here long and we use these bodies like humans do. Eat, drink like that. Maybe it is just us that it happens too but s’not a design flaw,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Good. I suppose, well that painful discorporation is a price to pay for a good crepe or a concert or a nice wine,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Just gotta try not to get discorporated,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Hmm,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley tried not to stare at Aziraphale but he wanted to keep an eye on him to make sure that his strange mood was melting away. It hurt Crowley, made his heart ache when the angel felt he was anything but the best angel that God ever created. That he doubted himself to the point that he couldn’t eat. That he thought he was broken. </p>
<p>    As the night continued and the wine bottles on the table grew Aziraphale seemed to be back to his normal self and they fell into a discussion of music and tea and somehow got into a conversation about shoes in the fourteen hundreds. </p>
<p>    The evening had started off a little odd and it hurt to hear Aziraphale doubt himself but now things were getting back to normal and Crowley hoped the angel felt a little better, and had to admit to himself he liked when he could help Aziraphale.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Breathe in breathe out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While packing up some books Aziraphale finds a cursed book, can Crowley save him?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley hummed as he parked the Bentley outside the bookshop. He had a cup of coffee and a cup of cocoa held in one hand and a bag of pastries in the other. It was going to be a long day and he thought a nice bit of breakfast would help. </p>
<p>    He and Aziraphale were going to be moving a great deal of books to the South Downs cottage and he hoped that Aziraphale actually had a pile ready to go. </p>
<p>    “Angel! Can you get the door!” </p>
<p>    There was no answer from inside but Crowley was sure Aziraphale was just debating over books so hard that reality didn’t exist. With a little miracle Crowley opened the door and set the breakfast items down just inside. </p>
<p>    “Angel! Are you buried under books?” Crowley called out. </p>
<p>    Still no answer and Crowley’s heart started to pound in his chest, “Angel! Aziraphale please answer me.” </p>
<p>    “Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “Oh Sa..go..ugh,” Crowley sighed and made his way to the back where Aziraphale’s voice had come from. He was halfway toward being relieved when he saw Aziraphale and the worry was back. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? Hey, are you alright. What’s going on?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was laying down on the couch looking pale except for a deep flush on his cheeks. He moved a little when Crowley sat down on the couch and started coughing. It looked like a human illness of some sort, which shouldn’t happen. </p>
<p>    “I...oh...something in the book. Don’t feel well.” </p>
<p>    “What book?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale coughed and pointed toward a book that had fallen off the edge of the desk onto the floor. That was very, very wrong. Crowley approached the book carefully and even before he knelt down he could sense the demonic power within. If the power was demonic then it shouldn’t do anything to Crowley, still he took his sunglasses off to touch the book at first poking it like it might jump up and bite him. As the glasses touched the book some sort of dust erupted from it spreading all along the floor and Crowley’s glasses. </p>
<p>    “Oh shit,” he said, “Angel did you breathe this in?”</p>
<p>    “Crowley? Are you here?”</p>
<p>    “Fuck,” Crowley cursed. What came out of the book as far as he could tell was ash of a cursed wooden cross burned by hellfire. Angel poison. Crowley looked at the cover of the book and didn’t recognize it and didn’t know where Aziraphale had gotten it.</p>
<p>    Crowley quickly went to the kitchenette and washed his hands before going back to Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Oh I didn’t know you were here,” Aziraphale said. Crowley sat down and put his hand on Aziraphale’s forehead and winced. </p>
<p>    “You’re burning up,” Crowley said, “Hold on I’ll take care of this.” Crowley gently put his hand on Aziraphale’s forehead and got ready to heal him. Something leapt from Aziraphale and pushed Crowley back with enough force that he went sprawling on the floor. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale started coughing and trembling and Crowley scrambled back to the couch and put his hand on Aziraphale’s back and helped him sit up. The coughing continued, deep wracking coughs that sounded like something was tearing inside the angel’s chest.</p>
<p>    “Just breathe angel, breathe.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale calmed down after a while and Crowley manifested some pillows to help keep the angel propped up. </p>
<p>    “This is bad, oh this is bad. What do I do? Right right it’s demonic but I can’t try to heal him without it getting worse. Something blessed?” </p>
<p>    “Water,” Aziraphale said weakly.</p>
<p>    “Just a moment love,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “No, not well yes but…” </p>
<p>    “What? Oh...oh Holy Water.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale gave a little nod then his face crumbled and he started to cry. </p>
<p>    “Hey Angel, hey you’ll be alright.” </p>
<p>    “I don’t want you to get hurt…” </p>
<p>    “Don’t worry about me, please, I’ll get some help. Don’t worry, you just need to rest and I’ll take care of it,” Crowley said running a hand through Aziraphale’s curls until he calmed down. Crowley got up and got Aziraphale some regular water and helped him drink it before covering him with a blanket and picking up his phone. </p>
<p>    “Hey book girl,” Crowley said as the voice on the other side picked up, “No no nothing bad coming. I need help Aziraphale is sick and he needs Holy Water. Yes, yes can’t touch the stuff, s’all true. Thank you.” Just before hanging up he blessed Anathema with the luck to get there quickly. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed in relief. All he had to do was wait for Anathema to get there and then Aziraphale would be fine. Crowley sat back down on the edge of the couch and held Aziraphale’s hand. </p>
<p>    He was getting worse. </p>
<p>    Crowley swore he was getting warmer and the coughs were deepening. Aziraphale was shaking and moaning. </p>
<p>    “Hold on Angel, help is on the way. We’ll get you feeling better in no time.” Crowley was getting nervous and worried and he tried desperately not to show it and scare Aziraphale, not that the angel was noticing much. </p>
<p>    Finally after what seemed like forever the door to the shop opened and Anathema came in. </p>
<p>    “I came as fast as I could, which was oddly fast  now that I think of it,” she said. </p>
<p>    “I blessed you,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “You can do that?”</p>
<p>    “Yes, and he’s one hell of a tempter when he puts his mind to it, did you get the water?” </p>
<p>    “Yes, several vials of it, from a church so it’s real.” </p>
<p>    “Oh I can smell it,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “You really can’t touch it can you?”</p>
<p>    “If so much as a drop of that gets on me I’ll be destroyed, gone forever,” Crowley said. It wasn’t something he would just tell any random human but Anathema was a friend and she was about to help him save Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “I’ll get him to drink some,” she said. Crowley waited on the other side of the bookshop pacing back and forth until Anathema called him back in. </p>
<p>    “Did it work?” he asked and his face fell when he saw that Aziraphale really hadn’t improved much. He was no longer shaking but he was still coughing and looked feverish. </p>
<p>    “I...he drank a whole vial, what did this to him?”</p>
<p>    “Cursed book, he breathed in some cursed dust,” Crowley said.</p>
<p>    “Ah then maybe we should have him breathe this in.” </p>
<p>    “So turn it to steam?” Crowley asked, “I suppose that makes sense. Alright uh...I’ll get a pot of some water boiling I’ll bring it over and then you can put the Holy Water in.” </p>
<p>    “Right,” Anathema said. </p>
<p>    Crowley started to boil water in a pot then sighed and realized he could just miracle it to the boiling point and did so. He brought the pot over and the put it on top of a pillow on Aziraphale’s stomach and drapped a towel over his head. </p>
<p>    “You got it?” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>    “Yes, you can get back now,” she said. Crowley returned to his pacing routine on the other side of the shop. He could hear Aziraphale coughing and Crowley hoped that it was working. He wanted so badly to go back across the shop and hold Aziraphales hand and cuddle with him and he just wanted him to be alright. </p>
<p>    “He’s getting better,” Anathema called out, “I’ll let this keep going a little longer.” </p>
<p>    “Thank you Anathema, thank you,” Crowley said. Crowley sank down into a chair and let out a sigh and wiped a few tears from his eyes. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? It’s safe to come back dear.” </p>
<p>    Crowley jumped up and ran back across the shop. Anathema got out of the way just in time to let the demon crash on the couch beside Aziraphale. Crowley put his hand on Aziraphale’s forehead and it was cool, his hand moved to Aziraphale’s cheek and he began stroking it. </p>
<p>    “Feeling better?” he said, his voice a bit shaky. </p>
<p>    “Much better dear, the book…” </p>
<p>    “I got rid of it. You’re safe, you’re alright,” Crowley said, “Oh thank...thank everyone you’re alright.” Crowley leaned forward and kissed Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “You had help it looks like, thank you Anathema dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I’m glad I could help,” she said. </p>
<p>    “Yes, again oh thank you Anathema really I couldn’t...and I can’t…” Crowley cleared his throat and desperately wished the tears would go away. </p>
<p>    “I’m glad I could help. I do need to get back to Newt we had plans for tonight.” </p>
<p>    “I can send you there now if you’d like, might get dizzy, maybe sick if you get motion sickness,” Crowley said. Anathema accepted and Crowley sent her away. He sighed and fell back against the couch. </p>
<p>    “I’m so glad you’re alright angel, it was getting bad.” </p>
<p>    “I wasn’t worried. I knew you were going to rescue me dear you always do,” Aziraphale said, “You’re such a clever wily demon.” </p>
<p>    Crowley blushed. </p>
<p>    “And quite sweet and kind,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Hey now,” Crowley said, “That’s quite enough of that.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “We had so much to do today.” </p>
<p>    “We’ll get there, can I get you anything?” </p>
<p>    “I am a bit peckish,” Aziraphale said. Crowley gave him another kiss and got up to retrieve the food. He took a deep steadying breath trying to release the emotions before going back to Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    That was too close. </p>
<p>    “Come here my love, sit with me and we’ll eat and then maybe cuddle a little bit,” Aziraphale said. Crowley smiled. </p>
<p>    “That sounds good to me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Is something burning?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes curiosity gets the best of Crowley</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley woke up before dawn and left the inn he was staying at, walking down the village's streets and ending up before the church. It was the seventh day he’d done just that routine and he didn’t know if he was going to go into the building or not. </p>
<p>    He knew it was going to hurt him. Consecrated ground had existed in one form or another for almost all of humanities time on earth. There were mandatory classes in hell about recognizing what they shouldn’t touch and what would happen if they did happen to walk where they weren't supposed to. </p>
<p>    Crowley had always been curious about it.</p>
<p>    According to the training course that hell made him take every century the effects would be much like other Holy objects. It would burn, he might feel tingly and might feel like he couldn’t breathe which he really didn’t have to but had really gotten used to. </p>
<p>    Crowley watched people go in and out of the church making sure that they couldn’t see him while he debated his next move. </p>
<p>    Now most of the time Crowley was perfectly fine with being a demon. With the whole set up with Human making choices and all there had to be temptations for evil and honestly they didn’t need ideas most of the time, but it was a job that needed to be done. And he liked messing with people to some extent. The amount of people who would stoop down to try to pick up glued coins was endlessly amusing. </p>
<p>    And the angels, oh boy they were so annoying and righteous and he really couldn’t imagine himself having to deal with the bureaucratic bullshit of heaven. The only part of heaven Crowley wanted anything to do with was Aziraphale.</p>
<p>    Still...sometimes things got to him. It didn’t happen often but he sometimes thought of falling and wondered exactly why he fell. Well he always asked questions and he had gotten far too close to Lucifer’s mischief but...he didn’t really…</p>
<p>    Did God hate him? Was this some sort of tough kind of love that needed to be done to him? So much of what had happened during the fall was a blur. He remembered before when he helped build stars and watched the birth of the universe. And he remembered falling into the sulfur pool the pain and confusion but he didn’t really remember the war in heaven. </p>
<p>    Was that a mercy or a punishment?</p>
<p>    Crowley couldn’t help but go down that path  of questioning every once in a while and now was one of those times where he was unsure of things. And so he stood before the human’s church and he wondered. </p>
<p>    The humans had gotten quite creative in their depictions of demons. The pure evil their art invoked. The twisted creatures they depicted. That was him. And it wasn’t. Now Hastur and Ligur might be a little closer to that but...Crowley didn’t feel that evil. And it didn’t matter really he didn’t tell humans often that he was a demon. </p>
<p>    Humans. They had come up with so many different versions of worshiping and rules and concepts dealing with the Almighty and all involved. Including the concept of forgiveness. Which really didn’t mean much to Crowley he wasn’t human and he didn’t want forgiveness when he thought about it, but still. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t know what he was doing and why all this was coming into his brain right that moment and what he thought he would get out of it. </p>
<p>    “This is stupid,” Crowley muttered, “I’m bored and thinking of stupid things.” </p>
<p>    It wasn’t that he really thought he was different that he was somehow something between an angel or a demon that he was special. He wasn’t and he was alright with being a demon. Still he could do miracles and bless people and he could touch Aziraphale without being burned.</p>
<p>    Still…</p>
<p>    It was night now and the church was empty and Crowley needed to know what walking into the church would do to him. </p>
<p>    So Crowley walked up the steps and into the small church. </p>
<p>    He hissed as his feet started to burn. He shuffled back and forth and that worked for a short time but it got to the point where the burning wouldn’t stop no matter how fast he hopped.</p>
<p>“Oww shit, Oh this is so stupid,” Crowley said shuffling toward the door. And then Crowley tripped. Of all the stupid things to do in a church. He crashed to the stone floor landing on his hands and knees and he cried out in pain.  </p>
<p>Crowley got to his feet and scrambled out of the church. What an embarassment, what a stupid thing to do, luckly it was night and the whole village was asleep so no one…</p>
<p>“Crowley? What on earth are you doing?”</p>
<p>Of all the beings and people to arrive at the church of course it was Aziraphale that came and found him crawling out of a church. </p>
<p>“Uh, I. Ngk. Well…” </p>
<p>Aziraphale was frowning, “Are you alone?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Just me.” </p>
<p>They stared at each other for quite a long time with neither of them speaking. Crowley didn’t know what he could say about what he had just done and why he had done it. Part of him wanted to snap at Aziraphale and tell him to  mind his own business and go away and leave him alone. Another part of him, maybe the part that was burnt, wanted Aziraphale to help him. </p>
<p>“Well...I was sent here to investigate a demonic presence which is you so...job done. I have wine back at the inn if you’re done working for the evening.” </p>
<p>“Sure,” Crowley said and stood on his still tender feet with a wince.</p>
<p>“Need help dear?”</p>
<p>“No, I can...mmm fine.” </p>
<p>Crowley followed Aziraphale back to the inn at the edge of town and followed him into the room. He sat on the chair glad to have the weight of his feet. Aziraphale poured two glasses of wine and set one before Crowley. </p>
<p>He winced as he picked it up. </p>
<p>“Crowley…” </p>
<p>“Don’t really want to talk about it angel.” </p>
<p>“You don’t have to, but just...are you alright?”</p>
<p>“I...these will heal,” he said. </p>
<p>“Good. I’m glad to hear it. And you’re okay as in, well in general?”</p>
<p>“Sure angel.” </p>
<p>“It’s just you were in a church of your own volition which was hurting you and there was, well there was Holy Water in there,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“Wasn’t going for that Aziraphale. I don’t know what I was doing,” Crowley said. Aziraphale gave a relieved sigh.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s good at least,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“So what have you been doing lately?” Crowley asked, taking a drink. </p>
<p>“Oh, well I…” </p>
<p>Crowley drank and he listened to Aziraphale talk about his current projects and this and that and felt much better. Crowley realized that night that as long as Aziraphale was there and he had a friend to talk to and work through things with, what did it matter that he was a demon or what the Almighty had planned. Aziraphale was there and that was good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Magical Healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crawley is curious about his ability to heal humans, healing one won't be a big deal right. Right?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crawley paced back and forth in the little hut he was staying in and waited. Hell was going to be coming for him for certain and it was going to be bad. He’d done things that might be considered kind or maybe even nice before but it usually didn’t matter. </p>
<p>    This one though. Oh he was going to get caught and he was going to have to go to Hell and they were going to torture him and then make him sit through presentation after presentation of how to be properly evil. He might not even be let back on earth.</p>
<p>    He sat down and let out a little sob. </p>
<p>    The whole thing had started the day before while Crawley was walking into a new village trying to find something interesting to do. The alcohol in the region was mostly made with dates and Crawley wasn’t sure he liked it. Oh he liked the effect of it of course but he wished it tasted a little better. There was so much of the world he hadn’t seen yet and he thought about going somewhere else for a while. </p>
<p>    At the edge of the village he found an inn and whatever they were cooking smelled good so he went in. He watched the villagers, who were mostly textile workers, talk and chatter and thought about what he could do to have some fun. </p>
<p>    A serving woman came from the back with food for one of the tables. She was halfway to the table when she tripped and the food went everywhere, including spilling on one of the men at the table. </p>
<p>    “You clumsy fool!” he got up and went to hit the girl. Crawley snapped and the man went sprawling on the ground. His friends managed to help him up as the woman scurried away. Not long after that she came back out, bringing Crawley’s food over. She had been crying. </p>
<p>    “Don’t let them bother you,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “I try not to. I...I just can’t afford to lose this. My daughter is very ill…” </p>
<p>    “Oh. I’m sorry to hear it.” </p>
<p>    “I  pray every night for help with her,” the woman said, “Perhaps the Lord will help.” </p>
<p>    “Anything is possible,” Crawley said. Something about the situation was intriguing and he happened to find where the woman lived. He watched as she took care of her daughter who looked to be ten or so. She was flushed and sick with fever. </p>
<p>    Crawley looked around. </p>
<p>    Now the policy of Hell said that demon’s were not to heal the innocent and the righteous and best to avoid helping humans at all. Exceptions were made for helping those who were evil of course but otherwise it was all but forbidden. But that didn’t mean Crawley couldn’t...that he was physically unable. Or so he thought. He hadn’t tried yet. Well this was a good opportunity wasn’t it? A little middle of nowhere town, an unknown child that wouldn’t hit on any radar. </p>
<p>    So Crawley waited until the woman was asleep and snuck into the little hut and approached the single bed they shared. He made sure the mother would stay asleep as he looked at the child. He was a little nervous over the whole thing. He was pretty sure it would all go well but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure. </p>
<p>    He didn’t want to hurt the girl. </p>
<p>    Crawley took a deep breath and began. It didn’t take long and when it was over it looked like it had worked. The girl didn’t have a fever any more and she looked better already. </p>
<p>    The next day Crawley went to the inn and ate again and asked the woman about her daughter. </p>
<p>    “I believe the Lord has sent an angel! She is getting better, her fever broke last night.” </p>
<p>    Crawley smiled. So he had been right. He could heal humans. He could do good. Of course it wouldn’t do to have Hell find out what he did. He couldn’t do it often or claim to do it at all. He had to be careful. </p>
<p>    Crawley stayed in the village another day and checked in one more time with the woman before he thought he’d better leave. As he stepped out into the sun he ran into someone coming in. </p>
<p>    “Oh, I’m terribly sorry I...oh Crawley?”</p>
<p>    “Oh hello Aziraphale,” he said with a smile. Aziraphale didn’t smile back and was frowning, “Something wrong?”</p>
<p>    “No. Well yes. I don’t know,” Aziraphale said. Crawley followed him back inside and watched as the Angel ordered food and started to eat. </p>
<p>    “So are you going to tell me what happened?”</p>
<p>    “Yes I suppose. It’s rather odd. I was on my way to this very village for a miracle when Gabriel came down. And he congratulated me on already completing the miracle. There was a child I was supposed to cure and she’s perfectly fine.” </p>
<p>    Crawley froze, “What did you say?”</p>
<p>    “Not much he left rather fast. I wonder, oh maybe he made a mistake on the mission and I didn’t want to embarrass him so I think I’ll play along.” </p>
<p>    “Probably a good idea,” Crawley managed to mumble. </p>
<p>    “I suppose. Well I’m glad the child is well anyway,” Aziraphale said. They talked a little longer and then Aziraphale said he had to get back. Crawley pretended he had somewhere else to be and they parted ways. </p>
<p>    And that’s when Crawley started pacing and worrying. It wouldn’t be long before Heaven and Hell figured out what had happened and then he was going to get in trouble and it was going to hurt. </p>
<p>    He debated trying to run, he debated lying and he debated what sort of excuse might work so that he could remain on earth. He sat on his bed and realized how bad he was shaking. Crawley’s heart was pounding and his stomach was acting up and he wished it would just hurry up and happen. </p>
<p>    But nothing happened. He waited for weeks for Hell to come get him, but it never happened. He got an assignment, he ran into Aziraphale again. Things were normal and nothing bad had happened. </p>
<p>    Crawley began to wonder how much heaven and hell were really paying attention to them on Earth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley wakes up late, and that's just the start of a bad day. Human AU.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley rolled over in bed with a groan and shielded his face from the sun coming in the window. The sun?</p>
<p>    “Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit!” </p>
<p>    Crowley jumped up and didn’t even glance at the clock and he threw whatever clothes matched and weren’t wrinkled on. He was going to be late. He was going to be very late. Of all the days to sleep in! He needed to be at the meeting in...oh shit...less than an hour. He didn’t know what he was going to do if he didn’t get the research grant and he wasn’t even going to make it to the meeting on time. </p>
<p>    And he still had to stop at the bank as well, if didn’t he was going to be homeless as well as directionless. </p>
<p>    He was halfway to the bank driving the Bentley faster and more like a maniac than he usually did when he pulled out his phone to see how much time he had. </p>
<p>    “Are you serious!” </p>
<p>    The phone was dead. He couldn’t even call anyone to tell them he was going to be late because he was an idiot.</p>
<p>    He stepped into the bank and groaned. Huge line, of course. The day before had been a bank holiday so...damn. Crowley sighed. Maybe he could wait until later to do his banking. </p>
<p>    Just as he turned to leave there was a loud bang and he looked toward the door expecting to see an accident, and by the way the morning was going probably involving the Bentley. </p>
<p>    “Everybody get down! Down, down, down!” </p>
<p>    No. No this was absolutely not happening. A robbery. A fucking robbery. By some sort of self preservation instinct Crowley went to his knees as several people in the bank screamed. </p>
<p>    “Alright everybody let’s all stay calm and cool and follow directions alright?” The leader, a tall man with blonde hair and a ski mask yelled. He was wearing something that looked like it was army and was carrying a type of gun Crowley only saw in movies. </p>
<p>    “Now I want everyone to sit with their backs against the wall over there, throw your cell phones out in front of you when you sit down. Let’s all stay calm and we can get this done with no one hurt,” the leader said. </p>
<p>    Crowley made his way to the wall tossing his dead phone out as he went still not sure that this was real. If only he had woken up on time this wouldn’t be happening. He risked a glance at the other people, there were twenty-five of them in total including the bank personnel. There had been a guard and he was sitting at the end of the row with his hands tied behind his back and looked like he had a bloody nose. </p>
<p>    “I’m being held hostage in a bank robbery on the day I should be getting a research grant. Well maybe getting a research grant. Probably not now,” he thought. Well...maybe if they learned what had happened to make Crowley late they might at least reschedule the meeting.</p>
<p>“Don’t want you talking, just keep still and keep your eyes down,” the leader said. He seemed to be waiting for something, not grabbing cash and running then he probably had some sort of goal and was going to use them as leverage. Which would take longer than a smash and grab sort of thing. He was going to be stuck there for a while then. </p>
<p>The robbers weren’t talking as they waited but Crowley made out that there were four of them. They looked professional, perhaps army or had been in the army at one point. The leader was British for certain, no mistaking that but none of the others were speaking. </p>
<p>It wasn’t long before there were sirens coming toward them and Crowley hoped that it would be over quickly. And over well. It could be over quickly in a bad way. The police could come crashing in and bullets would be flying and everyone would get shot. Or at least that was how it went in movies. Crowley took a deep breath to try to keep himself calm. He was scared, he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. He didn’t want to get shot and if he could help it he didn’t even want a gun pointed in his direction. </p>
<p>Crowley thought he heard movement outside and yelling and still the robbers seemed calm and collected. That was good in a way he supposed. </p>
<p>Some time passed, Crowley’s brain really wasn’t working well in that aspect, and a phone was pushed into the bank. It started ringing. </p>
<p>    “Listen up I need a volunteer to be our spokesperson! Ha no volunteers? You with the red hair and sunglasses.” </p>
<p>    No. No no no. This day, what was wrong with this day? Crowley looked up and found the leader staring at him. Somehow, and he really didn’t know how, he managed to get up and walk over to where they were standing by the foyer table. The leader put the phone on the table answered it and put it on speaker phone.</p>
<p>    “Hello?” A voice called over the phone. </p>
<p>    Crowley cleared his throat, “Hello.” </p>
<p>    “Ah yes this is Captain Fell who am I speaking to?” </p>
<p>    “Crowley, I’m their spokesperson.” </p>
<p>    “Ah I see. Can you tell me if anyone is hurt?”</p>
<p>    Crowley looked at the leader who nodded, “Nothing bad. Guard has a bloody nose. Mostly scared.” </p>
<p>    “Let’s get to business then I assume there is a list of demands?” </p>
<p>    The leader handed Crowley a piece of paper, “Right, I’ve got a letter to read.” Crowley read the list of demands which mostly had to do with the release of political prisoners. </p>
<p>    “Command has the demands we’ll get working on an answer. Perhaps a show of good faith? Release someone? Let us send in some food?” Fell asked. </p>
<p>    The leader scribbled something on the page. </p>
<p>    “Food and drinks, they’ll send me out to collect,” Crowley said.</p>
<p>    “And how many are we feeding?” </p>
<p>    “Thirty,” Crowley answered as the leader wrote it down. With that the leader turned the phone off. </p>
<p>    “Well done, Crowley, sit down right here and keep still.” </p>
<p>    Crowley nodded and sat down at the leader’s feet. It felt odd and undignified and he wanted to do something like spit in the leader’s face. But that would get him hit at best and shot at worst. No, no worst would be if he spit on the leader and the leader shot someone else. </p>
<p>    Time passed and the leader spoke again, “Alright we’re got some food and drink coming in. That means bathroom breaks coming up to. We’re going to do one at a time raise your hand when you have to go and someone will take you. We’re not here to make this difficult.” </p>
<p>    “Food’s here boss,” One of the others, the shorter woman, said. </p>
<p>    The leader waited until they set it by the door and sent Crowley to retrieve it. He walked slowly as he was told and held his hands up as he opened the door. There were police all over the place set up across the street. </p>
<p>    One man caught his eye, a man with white blonde curls looking at him. For some reason he thought that was Captain Fell. The man made a subtle movement and touched his weapon. Was he asking how many people? Crowley guessed maybe he was and picked up the bag with four fingers showing. Fell gave a little nod as Crowley walked back in. </p>
<p>    “Pass that out,” the leader said and Crowley nodded. He handed out water bottles and sandwiches to each person. One of the men took his hand when he handed him the bottle.</p>
<p>    “Do something.” </p>
<p>    Crowley shrugged and moved on. What was he going to do? He was a skinny astronomer who had never held a gun in his entire life. There was nothing he could do. </p>
<p>    “Am I speaking to Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “Yes, still me.” </p>
<p>    “How is everyone holding up?”</p>
<p>    “Pretty good all things considered, you’re on speaker so you can tell them what you’ve found out and I’ll answer for them.” </p>
<p>    “Right,” Fell went into some detail of what he could do and what he couldn’t and what would need to happen. Crowley tried to keep up with the info but his brain felt numb and weird. </p>
<p>    The leader started writing something down. </p>
<p>    “He’s writing give me a moment. Right he says for the Tom deal he’ll release five hostages now. He needs more than that for the rest of us.” </p>
<p>    “I was hoping that would be a good start to everyone, send out five then,” Fell said, “Thank you Crowley, you’re doing well.” </p>
<p>    Crowley gave a little chuckle, “Thank you,” he managed to say before the leader hung up the phone. The leader looked at the people and picked five of them to be sent out. Crowley wanted to be one of them so badly. </p>
<p>    He just wanted to go home. </p>
<p>    “So where do we stand,” Fell asked and Crowley looked at the leader.</p>
<p>    “They’re not happy. They want action, something they can see not just promises,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “And what would make them most happy?” Fell asked. </p>
<p>    “A video stream of Tom’s release, or of one of the others,” Crowley read. </p>
<p>    “I can get on that,” Fell said. </p>
<p>    The leader drew his handgun and pointed it at Crowley’s head.</p>
<p>    “They...that...ngk…” </p>
<p>    “Crowley? What’s wrong? Please talk to me Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “Gonna have to be fast, they...pulled a gun on me. I think they might use it.” </p>
<p>    “Well they should know that if a hostage is harmed we are going to go back to square one and we will be much harder to work with.” </p>
<p>    The leader cocked the gun right next to the phone before he hung up on Captain Fell and fired a shot into the air. Several people screamed and Crowley fell to his knees on the floor, his ears ringing with the sound of the shot. </p>
<p>    The leader let the phone ring for several times before answering it and shoving it in Crowley’s face. </p>
<p>    “Hello? What is going on in there?”</p>
<p>    “W...warning shot...no one hurt,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Fell sighed, “Good, good. It’s good to hear you safe Crowley. Hang in there. We’re working on things; any messages for me?”</p>
<p>    “No,” Crowley said after looking at the leader. With that the call was terminated and it went back to waiting. </p>
<p>    In the late afternoon Fell sent a video of one of their demanded prisoners released and all but five of the hostages were let go. Crowley again desperately wanted to be one of them. The whole thing was wearing on his nerves and he just wanted to go home and sleep for a couple of days. </p>
<p>    His mind drifted to his presentation and he hoped that it had somehow gotten out that he was being held hostage and he might still be able to get the grant. He also started thinking about Captain Fell. Crowley had only seen him for a moment but that was enough to notice that the man was cute. And he had such a soothing voice. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed. He had been single for far too long if he was fantasizing over a man over the phone. And...aside from the meeting and some work colleagues, no one was waiting for Crowley to come home. He was alone and if he got shot here did it really matter. </p>
<p>    Crowley was lost in thought when there was a banging noise from somewhere in the back of the bank. Two of the robbers ran toward the noise. The leader grabbed Crowley and hauled him to his feet twisting his arm behind his back and shoving the gun roughly in his throat. </p>
<p>    “Two trying to get in the back,” one of the robbers said, “We took them down.” </p>
<p>    The leader growled and started toward the door with Crowley in tow. Crowley felt like his legs were made of jelly and he was trying desperately not to cry. They were going to shoot him. The police had tried to sneak in the back and failed and now the leader was going to shoot him in front of the police.</p>
<p>    Crowley was going to die and he was trying to be brave about it. The leader opened the door to the bank pushing Crowley out before him. He started yelling at the police. No more hiding his voice then. Crowley was useless now and they were going to kill him. </p>
<p>    He couldn’t concentrate on anything that was being said. He tried to listen to Captain Fell’s voice, something nice before...before…</p>
<p>    “Crowley? Crowley can you hear me?”</p>
<p>    “I...ugh yeah…” he mumbled. </p>
<p>    “The Leader is asking you to make a decision. I know this is scary but can you listen.” </p>
<p>    “Ssssure…” </p>
<p>    “They’ll let the others go if you stay with them, or they’ll keep the others and let you go,” Fell said. </p>
<p>    “Let...let the others go,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Things were getting bad and it was starting to get dark. He imagined the police storming in and there would be a shootout. Crowley didn’t want to be anywhere near it when it happened. But if he left now five people would be in the line of fire instead of just him. He couldn’t do it. </p>
<p>    Crowley watched, the gun still pressed into his throat, as the five other hostages ran past him and to safety. </p>
<p>    “You try to come in again,” the Leader yelled, “We shoot him first.” </p>
<p>    And then they dragged Crowley back inside. They pushed Crowley to the floor once they were back inside and Crowley broke down and started to cry. This wasn’t going to end well and he just gave up his last chance to get out. He wasn’t going to get to go home. He was going to die. They would drag him out and kill him or the police were going to barge in and he would get shot.</p>
<p>    “Please,” he prayed to anything that might be listening, “Please just let it be quick.” </p>
<p>    He should have probably been paying attention and trying to hear what the robbers were saying. They were planning something, an exit perhaps but he was having trouble focusing and he didn’t know if it would matter anyway. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t know how much time had passed but it was dark and it was late and he wanted to sleep and he just wanted it to all be over. </p>
<p>    It happened sometime after what felt like midnight; there was an explosion of some sort and the bank started to fill with smoke. Crowley cowered not sure who was where and what he should do. </p>
<p>    There were gunshots as the smoke kept filling the bank. There might have been bodies falling but Crowley didn’t know. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? Crowley are you in here?”</p>
<p>    Captain Fell. </p>
<p>    “Over here,” Crowley managed to say. He heard footsteps and through the smoke he saw Captain Fell. </p>
<p>    “Ah there you are, come on dear boy let’s get you out of here,” Captain Fell said. He reached down and helped Crowley to his feet. </p>
<p>    Crowley saw movement from behind the bank counter. The others may have fled or fallen but the Leader had stayed and he was now aiming for Captain Fell. </p>
<p>    “Down,” Crowley said, pushing Fell toward the table. </p>
<p>    Two gunshots rang out and Crowley cried out in pain. </p>
<p>    “Shit,” Fell cursed and Crowley couldn’t help but laugh at hearing him cursing. It was cute. Fell put his hands on Crowley’s side and Crowley looked down to the blood oozing out of the wound. </p>
<p>    “Oh...Oh shit.” </p>
<p>    It hurt his whole side stung and somehow felt numb at the same time and he felt like he might be sick. It didn’t quite hurt as bad as he thought, was that a good thing or was he dying?</p>
<p>    “Hold on Crowley, you’ve been hit, medics are on their way in.” </p>
<p>    “Bad?”</p>
<p>    “Hard to say, just hold on Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “Hmm...I,” Crowley forgot what he was about to say his mind felt foggy and he felt sleepy. Now that was bad, he knew, and he had to try to stay awake. He was so tired and he let his eyes shut for a moment. </p>
<p>    “Crowley, open your eyes,” Fell said, his voice shaking. Crowley did and then there was a flutter of movement as the medics came in and collected him. It was all a strange sort of daze and he found himself thinking he wanted to stay to see Captain Fell again. </p>
<p>    Then he was at hospital and they were lowering a mask over his face and everything went blank. </p>
<p>    Crowley went in and out of consciousness for a few days. He knew he was alive and in hospital and his hip hurt and that was about it. </p>
<p>    When he woke for real he was alone and everything started to come back to him. The robbery and getting shot. He’d been shot in the hip and had lost a lot of blood but he was recovering well. </p>
<p>    That afternoon he heard that his meeting had been rescheduled and that everyone knew what had happened. </p>
<p>    The second morning when he woke he wasn’t alone. Captain Fell was there and Crowley couldn’t help but smile. </p>
<p>    “Oh it is good to see you recovering. How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>    “Better. Glad to be alive.” </p>
<p>    “Well I’m here on both official business and unofficial I suppose. I have a few questions for my report if you’re feeling up to it. I understand if you aren’t though.” </p>
<p>    “I’m up to it.” </p>
<p>    Captain Fell asked his questions and Crowley answered as best he could from what he could remember. He didn’t want to remember any of it but it was nice to be talking to Captain Fell.” </p>
<p>    “And you pushed me out of the way,” Fell said. </p>
<p>    “I did. Looking back it was probably stupid. You had armor on. But...uh...I...you helped me not break down. Didn’t want to see you get hurt.” </p>
<p>    “You did very well Crowley. You were very brave. Letting the others go before you even with a gun at your neck was very heroic.” </p>
<p>    Crowley gave a little snort and a laugh, “Went back in and sobbed like a baby.” </p>
<p>    “That doesn’t mean you weren't brave. Is there anything I can do for you.” </p>
<p>    “I uh your number would be nice?” Crowley asked blushing slightly. He might as well go for it and see what happened.</p>
<p>    “I can do that, I very much want to do that,” Fell said. </p>
<p>    Crowley took the slip of paper and smiled. A few days ago had been one of the worst days of his life but maybe...maybe some good would come out of it after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Wrongfully Accused</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale has a moment of doubt about his relationship with Crowley</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale waited for Gabriel outside his office and wondered what he was doing there. His last performance review had gone very well and the report he filed last week got him a nice note so he wasn’t sure what was going on. Perhaps it was a bigger mission of some sort, but then Gabriel usually came down and bothered him about that sort of thing. </p>
<p>    And as far as he knew nothing was wrong with Crowley, last they spoke he was getting ready to do some sort of infernal construction project. Aziraphale hoped he didn’t have to stop it; Crowley seemed to be having fun with the whole thing. </p>
<p>    “Ah Aziraphale good to see you up here, come on in sorry I got tied up on a call,” Gabriel said as he ushered Aziraphale in. </p>
<p>    “Something big coming up?” Aziraphale asked trying to sound excited and not nervous. </p>
<p>    “You could say that. It involves the demon Crowley,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    “Oh, yes the wily serpent,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “We’ve gotten word that Hell has been having their agents try to get an angel over on their side.” </p>
<p>    “Oh...how dreadful,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Look I’m going to cut to the chase Aziraphale,” Gabriel said, reaching into a folder and drawing out several photos. Photos of Aziraphale and Crowley talking.</p>
<p>    “I…” </p>
<p>    “I know what you were trying to do. Outsmart him, get information and I understand wanting to thwart evil like that. But I’m afraid he’s doing the same thing to you. We got ahold of this report here, signed by Crowley of his progress on trying to tempt you to evil and his plans to try to get you to fall.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale frowned as he took the document from Gabriel. That wasn’t right. Crowley would tell him if he was filing such a report and they tried their best not to mention each other by name in their reports anyway. But there it was written in Crowley’s spidery handwriting. That he was making progress on tempting Aziraphale, that he was keeping him busy so he could do more evil, that he was getting close to making Aziraphale fall. </p>
<p>    Crowley wouldn’t...he wouldn’t lie like this. It was too much of a risky move so it had to be real didn’t it?</p>
<p>    Next Gabriel had him listen to a snippet of Crowley talking to another demon. </p>
<p>    “...absolute idiot that angel, just give him something to eat and he’s all yours.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale didn’t know what to say or what to do but he didn’t want to believe it. It couldn’t be true. Crowley was his friend and they they…</p>
<p>    “Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>    “Sorry I...thought I was making progress getting him to…” </p>
<p>    “It really is commendable Aziraphale but you need to know the truth. Now head back to work and keep an eye out,” Gabriel said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale made his way back to the bookshop not remembering much of the journey there. He couldn’t believe it and he didn’t want to believe it. Crowley wasn’t...he wasn’t like that Aziraphale knew him better than that. But the evidence was... the writing was his the voice had been Crowley. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale paced back and forth in the bookshop trying to figure out what he was going to do. </p>
<p>    “Something wrong angel?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale turned, “Crowley!” </p>
<p>    “You alright?” </p>
<p>    “I...of course...just.” </p>
<p>    “Want to go out to get a drink? Maybe a little lunch. Calm you down a bit?”</p>
<p>    “You…” </p>
<p>    “Come on angel, either tell me what’s going on or let’s go do something to distract you or figure out what to do over drinks.” </p>
<p>    “Plying me with food.” </p>
<p>    “Plying? Well…” </p>
<p>    “You...you ugly bastard, you mean thing,” Aziraphale said. Crowley stiffened. </p>
<p>    “Angel what is going on?”</p>
<p>    “Stop calling me that! You...how long have you been...been tempting me!” </p>
<p>    “I haven’t been tempting you ang...Aziraphale. Not, ngk, maybe to lunch and things but…” </p>
<p>    “I saw the report, I heard you....what is wrong with me? I trusted a demon, a nasty evil cruel demon. You...you tried to tempt me you were tt...trying to get me to fall!” </p>
<p>    “I would never do that,” Crowley said, “You...what you saw it wasn’t me. I haven’t been tempting you to anything….” </p>
<p>    “The arrangement was your idea! You’ve been using me for a millenia almost! I’m lucky I haven’t fallen yet. I shouldn’t have listened to you, foul serpent. I should smite you!” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale, I promise whatever you saw wasn’t me...I...I wanted the arrangement to see you more.” </p>
<p>    “Liar.” </p>
<p>    “Not lying, not to you,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “No, enough I’m done listening to you. You need to leave now, forever, if I ever see you in my shop or near it again I will smite you!” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale…” </p>
<p>    “Leave! You disgusting creature, foul demon, leave me alone!” </p>
<p>    Crowley opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then in a flash he was gone. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale resumed pacing and then a thought struck him. The holy water, he needed to get the holy water back from Crowley. He didn’t know why really he just knew it had to be done and with a snap he teleported himself to Crowley’s Mayfair flat. </p>
<p>    He heard Crowley in the distance and made his way toward him. Crowley was sitting on the floor of a room filled with plants. His back was to Aziraphale and for a moment he thought Crowley was laughing. Anger rose up in Aziraphale and he thought about smiting the cruel bastard. </p>
<p>    And then...no Crowley wasn’t laughing, he was sobbing. </p>
<p>    “Wh...what did...what did I do? I’m sorry,” Crowley curled in on himself a little more and let out a shuddering sob. Aziraphale’s hand flew to his mouth.</p>
<p>    “Mmm sorry,” Crowley cried.</p>
<p>    “Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale fell to his knees beside the crying demon. Crowley looked up, face crumpling.</p>
<p>    “Sorry an...Aziraphale. Won’t...I won’t…” </p>
<p>    “Oh Crowley no. I. Oh God I’m a fool. Gabriel told me that you were trying to tempt me, he had pictures of us. A report in your handwriting and a voice clip that sounded like you.” </p>
<p>    “Wasn’t me...I swear it.” </p>
<p>    “I’m so sorry Crowley.”</p>
<p>    “You...you got scared. And mmma demon.” </p>
<p>    “That’s no excuse and I am so very sorry Crowley for accusing you of trying to tempt me to fall.” </p>
<p>    “I wouldn’t do that,” Crowley said with a sniffle. </p>
<p>    “I know that. I do. I just let Gabriel get to me.” </p>
<p>    “He knows? About us?”</p>
<p>    “A little. He thinks I was trying to tempt you to good and you tempt me to evil,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “What do we do?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “I don’t know. I...I rather think your idea of food and drink is a good idea now.” </p>
<p>    “Am I allowed to come back to the shop?” Crowley asked.</p>
<p>    “Of course, oh of course dear boy. I have made such a horrible mistake.” </p>
<p>    “Sss okay angel. We all fuck up from time to time. Just glad we can be friends.” </p>
<p>    “I know you don’t like hearing it but you really are quite a kind being.” </p>
<p>    “Am not,” Crowley protested weakly. </p>
<p>    “Of course, now come one dear I think we’re going to have trouble coming our way before too long,” Aziraphale said. Corwley stood and gave a weak smile as he steadied himself. Aziraphale felt his heart breaking again and vowed that he would never doubt Crowley again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Panic Attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale has a panic attack, Crowley comes over to help</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale looked around the shop trying to locate the cause of the sense of danger he felt. Something was wrong, something was very very wrong and he needed to do something to stop it. </p>
<p>    Were the angels coming after him after all? Were demons coming to try to take him? Was there some sort of imminent human disaster? </p>
<p>    Aziraphale wasn’t sure but...oh there was something very very wrong. His breathing came in quick gasps and he felt like he couldn’t get enough of it and well really he didn’t need it but it still wasn’t right. And his heart was joining in the whole mess by pounding away as if he’d been running and if he were human he might think he was having a heart attack or something. </p>
<p>    But that was absurd wasn’t it? Wasn’t it? He put his hand on his chest and felt and no there was nothing physically wrong with his heart or anything in his body for that matter but that didn’t explain why he felt like he was dying or why it was happening in the first place. </p>
<p>    Crowley. It had to be something wrong with Crowley. Something was wrong with the demon and Aziraphale needed to do something about it before it was too late. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale’s hands were shaking as he picked up and dialed the phone. </p>
<p>    “Morning angel,” Crowley’s voice on the other end sounded normal. </p>
<p>    “I...I…” </p>
<p>    “Angel? Aziraphale are you alright?”</p>
<p>    “I...I don’t know. I’m terribly sorry I shouldn’t have called I just well honestly I don’t know why I feel this way but it feels like something is wrong and I was worried and really I still am but…” </p>
<p>    “Hey, hey slow down angel do you need me to come over?”</p>
<p>    “Oh...oh well I. I’m sorry It’s silly. I just...I just feel wrong…” </p>
<p>    “Listen to me Aziraphale, can you listen?”</p>
<p>    “Yes dear…” </p>
<p>    “I’m coming over, I’ll be right there. Can you do me a favor?”</p>
<p>    “Sure…” Aziraphale wasn’t sure he wasn’t sure he could do anything like this, something was terribly horribly wrong either in the world or in his corporation and he couldn’t figure it out!</p>
<p>    “Make us some cocoa and I’ll be right over,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Sure, I’ll yes goodbye,” Aziraphale said, hanging up the phone. He made his way to the kitchenette and pulled down two mugs. His hands were still shaking and he was still annoyingly aware of his heartbeat that he couldn’t seem to control. </p>
<p>    He went through the motions of making the cocoa and Crowley usually didn’t like cocoa but...sometimes Crowley did odd things. When the cocoa was done he sat down on the couch and waited. </p>
<p>    “What is wrong with me,” Aziraphale started to cry. He couldn’t help it and it wasn’t making the issue with not being able to breathe right any easier. He pulled his legs up onto the couch and continued to cry. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale jumped slightly; he hadn’t heard the shop door open and looked up to see a very concerned Crowley looking at him. </p>
<p>    “I...I think I’m dying,” Aziraphale cried, “I can’t...I don’t know what’s wrong but it just feels like it’s all going to end.” </p>
<p>    Crowley carefully sat on the edge of the sofa, “Did something hurt you? Did it come on suddenly?”</p>
<p>    “Nothing happened!” Aziraphale snapped, “Than why...what…” </p>
<p>    “Sss panic attack angel, least I think it is,” Crowley said, “Humans get them often. Uh...me too.” </p>
<p>    “How do you stop it?” </p>
<p>    “Distraction helps for the immediate thing, trying to figure out what caused it eventually. But for now, just try to drink some cocoa I could put on some mozart?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale nodded. He didn’t know if any of that would work or why he should suddenly be having them after 6000 years. He picked up the cocoa and tasted the thick chocolate and the nice warming effect as he drank it. After a few sips, music came on and Aziraphale tried to pay attention. </p>
<p>    As he was finishing the cocoa he realized that he wasn’t having a hard time breathing anymore and his heart seemed back to normal. He felt drained and more than a little dazed. He sighed then suddenly remembered that Crowley was there and looked at the demon who was perched on the edge of the couch again. </p>
<p>    “Hi Angel,” he said. </p>
<p>    “Crowley. Oh. Thank you. I’m sorry that was rather odd.” </p>
<p>    “Feeling better?”</p>
<p>    “Drained more than anything. It just...came on so suddenly. I was just looking for a book and then...that was it. I thought maybe something was coming for me or you or that some disaster was happening. I couldn’t stop it.” </p>
<p>    “It’s over now,” Crowley said, “Just take it easy for a while. I can stay if you want me to or I can go if you want to be alone.” </p>
<p>    “Please stay Crowley, at least for a little bit,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I can stay as long as you want. Whatever you want to do we’ll do. Get you feeling better,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I’ll finish your cocoa if you’re done with it and...and how did your repotting project go?”</p>
<p>    “Oh angel, the state of some of those roots you would not believe. I can’t believe they dared to do such a thing,” Crowley said. He continued to talk about his plants getting more and more animated as he continued. Aziraphale watched Crowley and listened and drank more cocoa and felt more and more relaxed. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale laughed as Crowley explained his mishap with accidentally burying his trowel in a pot of dirt. </p>
<p>    “There you are,” Crowley said with another chuckle. </p>
<p>    “Thank you my dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “What do you want to do now? More cocoa. Pull a bottle of something out, go to a movie?”</p>
<p>    “I think a movie would be nice. Here maybe? Or at your place. We could make some popcorn. Yell at movie people?”</p>
<p>    “Sounds good to me angel.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale relaxed against the back of the couch as Crowley went about getting the tv set up and the popcorn made. Crowley let Aziraphale choose the movie and then they were sitting side by side on the couch as the movie started. </p>
<p>    When the popcorn was gone Aziraphale reached for Crowley’s hand and smiled at the blush that spread across Crowley’s cheeks. Though Aziraphale still felt tired and a little off he was feeling much better. And it was so very, very nice to know that he had support from Crowley.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Broken Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley in the bar after the bookshop fire</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley downed the first three shots of whisky as quickly as he could. He was covered in ash and smelled of smoke but he didn’t care. </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Aziraphale was gone. Gone forever. Killed. Murdered. </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>What...what was he going to do now? How could he possibly save the world now? He couldn't even think straight.  Armageddon was almost upon them and the antichrist was still lost and he wasn’t sure he could do it on his own. </p>
<p>He was alone. </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Aziraphale was gone from his life forever. There was a gaping hole in Crowley’s heart one that he thought would never be filled. The world was going to end soon and everything was going to be destroyed. Heaven and Hell would have a war and Crowley...didn’t know what he was going to do. </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Had Aziraphale fought? Surely he had fought. Aziraphale was brave and didn’t back down and did what he thought was right. He was committed to the whole thing and of course he had fought. </p>
<p>A horrible image entered Crowley’s mind; of Aziraphale on his knees about to be killed calling out for him. Even if he hadn’t he would have been thinking about Crowley coming in time. He had always been on time before. </p>
<p>Two shots. </p>
<p>Had Aziraphale been scared when he realized that Crowley wasn’t going to make it in time? Had he cried? How...how scared had he been in those last moments. Had he prayed? What were his last thoughts? </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Had it hurt? Was it quick? Did Aziraphale suffer and scream before he died? Had he...had he cried out for Crowley? For God? </p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>“Why him?” Crowley said out loud, “God why him? He is...was...oh he was the best. I...I can’t...Why?”</p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Crowley’s heart was broken. Everything was breaking though wasn’t it? The world was going to end. He hadn’t been sure if they would be able to stop the apocalypse from the get go. He had hoped they would but he had expected Aziraphale to be by his side the whole way. Aziraphale had been with him since the beginning. Of course they had fought off and on through the years and got mad at each other over silly and serious things but...but…</p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>“Why? Why mmm. I…” </p>
<p>He wished he could see Aziraphale one last time. Just tell him...make sure he knew how much he had meant to Crowley. Surely he knew. Oh please please…</p>
<p>Another shot. </p>
<p>Crowley wasn’t sure he’d ever been so drunk and he didn’t care. The world was going to end and the angels and the demons were going to war and he supposed he really did want to be drunk for the whole thing. Maybe it would hurt less. </p>
<p>It already hurt. Aziraphale was gone.</p>
<p>“Mmm best friend. Loved him. Why?” </p>
<p>Crowley thought back to the Holy Water and what had happened to Ligur. The way he had screamed and disintegrated. Was that what happened to Aziraphale? </p>
<p>“Please…” </p>
<p>The bottle was gone. New bottle. More shots. </p>
<p>“Aziraphale I’m sorry,” Crowley said. He sat and he drank and he waited for the world to be over with. He wondered. He wondered if things might have been different if he might had been able to be closer to Aziraphale by being an Angel. Oh he didn’t want to be an angel really but if he could have been closer to Aziraphale.</p>
<p>More thoughts, more shots, bottle gone. New bottle.</p>
<p>“I never asked to be a demon…” Crowley muttered and then there was a strange surge of power and a flicker.</p>
<p>“Aziraphale?” </p>
<p>Could it be Aziraphale? He wasn’t gone. It was either really Aziraphale or Crowley was beyond drunk and hallucinating. Either way Crowley would work with it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Medieval</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale and Crowley hatch a plan to break a castle siege before winter hits and dooms all within to starvation and disease.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale gazed out from the top of the castle parapet. It wasn’t a very useful gaze; the whole countryside was inundated with thick fog and lingering mist. There was an army outside of the castle; they had been there for months and weren't going to leave any time soon. </p>
<p>    Not until the castle fell or they were driven away.</p>
<p>    Aziraphale could leave; he was not on a mission but...he had been in the area for twenty years now and he felt like he should be there to help the people. It was a very small castle on the border of Wales and Scotland, claimed by both sometimes and neither sometimes. The Lords were fighting and both said the other's land should be theirs and so there was war. Or rather a seige at the moment. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale wasn’t going to leave until it was all over and he was hoping that he could figure out a way to resolve the situation without bloodshed. </p>
<p>    People trapped in the castle grounds were starting to get sick and starting to starve and starting to die. Aziraphale did what he could but...he wasn’t authorized to save the castle and so he had to do small miracles here and there. If Gabriel got wind of it and didn’t like it he could pull Aziraphale away and then the whole thing would be over. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale did have one card to play if Gabriel did come down; there happened to be a demon in the castle as well. A demon who was now mumbling and coming to stand beside him on the castle wall. </p>
<p>    “Get’s damper every year I swear,” Crowley complained. </p>
<p>    “It might,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Sickness is going to spread easier if this weather holds,” Crowley said, “We’ve got several pockets as it is.” </p>
<p>    “And outside?”</p>
<p>    “About the same, they have a good supply line for food though and that’s another problem, we’re running out of food. Might be able to tempt a few younger lads into a night raid for some,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “That’s probably a good idea. A dangerous one but I can’t go over budget on the miracles,” Aizrpahale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley made a noise of acknowledgement and shifted beside him. </p>
<p>    “Something else?” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    “If this doesn’t come to a head before winter they’re all going to die. Not going to last the season.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “I rather think you’re right. Any ideas?”</p>
<p>    “One. But you’re not gonna like it.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stared out at the swirling fog and into the castle where everyone was in a slump. Crowley was right; the castle was not ready to survive a winter of siege. Not enough food, no close allies, no plans. Crowley always came up with the wildest plans but...well they did have a habit of working. </p>
<p>    “What is it?” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    “Trap. Make them think they found a secret way in the courtyard at least, draw them into a trap. Either the castle falls or they're driven away but we can avoid a winter of watching people suffer and die.” </p>
<p>    “Are we going to try to do this ourselves or are we going to go to Lord Thorn with this plan?” </p>
<p>    “That’s your call, you know him better than I do. Think he’ll risk it?”</p>
<p>    “I think I might be able to, well…” </p>
<p>    “Tempt him?” Crowley said, mouth curving into a delighted smirk.</p>
<p>    “Oh you. Yes. I might be able to convince him. And what is your part in this then? Tempting the other side to try the entrance.” </p>
<p>    “Yes. Here I’ll show you where I was thinking,” Crowley said walking along the wall. Aziraphale followed Crowley down and into the courtyard to a back alley where...there was a little spot where it would be easy to break in through a door that looked like it hadn’t been used in decades. </p>
<p>    “So if they come through here they’ll be right into the courtyard. Where most of the people are,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Switch them out,” Crowley said, “Put soldiers in the courtyard, make em sleep under blankets and look like civilians. Then when the enemy comes in. Pop up and attack.” </p>
<p>    “Not a bad idea,” Aziraphale said, “I’ll see if I can get Lord Thorn to go for it.” </p>
<p>    “Meet back on the wall tomorrow morning?” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>    “Right.” </p>
<p>*****<br/>    Crowley wanted to be anywhere but the castle. But he was somewhat invested in what happened and it was good to keep an eye on Aziraphale and he could always use that as an excuse as to what he was doing. Trying to thwart an Angel and all. </p>
<p>    Now he needed to sneak out of the city and try to convince the outside army that there was a good place to come in. And maybe get a bit of food for the city while he was at it. </p>
<p>    “Halt there,” a voice called out and Crowley turned. </p>
<p>    “Ah, Captain Hill.” </p>
<p>    “And what are you sneaking around doing this morning Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “Oh nothing much.” </p>
<p>    “I thought you said you’d be in church yesterday?”</p>
<p>    “Ahh well you know…” Crowley said. Captain Hill was becoming a major annoyance in Crowley’s stay at the castle. He was a devoutly religious son of a priest and he felt very strongly that everyone in the castle should go to church and that God would favor them if they did. Crowley wasn’t sure about any of that he just wished he could get the man off his back. Captain Hill was a good man and did a lot to protect and help people. If Hill was an asshole it would be easy enough for Crowley to get rid of him but he was a pleasant human and that was enough to stop Crowley. </p>
<p>“You really should be in church. It will help. If God knows that we are all on His side here we can prevail.” </p>
<p>“Might be right Captain. I’m uh headed to the kitchen to help then I’ll go,” Crowley said, “I’m expected to be there.” </p>
<p>“Very well,” Captain Hill said. </p>
<p>Crowley made his way toward the kitchen, miracling up some food as he did so he would have something to give the nuns there. There were two kitchen’s run by the church, Crowley prefered the one that made the most effort to feed children first. </p>
<p>“Oh would you look at that! Well done Master Crowley, thank you and bless you!” </p>
<p>“You are most welcome Sister Mary,” Crowley said, hiding the wince from the blessing with a smile. Once he was done with that and sure that Captain Hill was nowhere to be found he made his way outside the wall to set the trap. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Aziraphale met Crowley on the wall and by the look on the Demon’s face it had all gone well on his end.  </p>
<p>“Lord Thorn is going to start moving people this morning, by tomorrow morning we’ll be ready.” </p>
<p>“And tomorrow just before dawn they’ll try to break in,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“Is there a problem?” </p>
<p>“Not with the plan no. Got Captain Hill on my back about going to church,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>“Ah. He’s a good man, a little severe perhaps,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“They’ll need him in the battle. Good leader, good fighter,” Crowley said, “I’m not too worried about him.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale smiled. Crowley would never, ever admit the spark of good in him but it showed when one was looking hard enough. Oh he could be quite demonic at times and caused all kinds of trouble for humanity but there was a streak of good there, as bright and vibrant as his hair. </p>
<p>The day was filled with activity; getting the people moved inside the inner walls of the city and staging the soldiers outside as if they were the civilians. It was all rather clever and more than a little devious and perfectly Crowley. </p>
<p>“Lord Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>“Ah Captain Hill, what can I do for you?”</p>
<p>“I saw you speaking to Master Crowley earlier today.” </p>
<p>“Indeed. I’ve not seen him since earlier though if you are looking for him.” </p>
<p>“I was rather hoping you’d convinced him to pray before this happens.” </p>
<p>“Oh I think he will. I’ve known Crowley for a long time Captain he’s...unconventional to be sure but we don’t have to worry about him.” </p>
<p>“Hmm. Well I hope to see you when we bless the soldiers this evening,” Captain Hill said. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t miss it.” </p>
<p>“Try to get Master Crowley to come, if you can.” </p>
<p>“I will,” Aziraphale said. He wasn’t sure he liked how much the man had Crowley on his mind but if Crowley wasn’t worried about it then he would let it go. </p>
<p>Things were going well and by evening the repositioning was over and everyone was ready for the morning to come. The civilians were safe inside the inner wall; the drawbridge was half way up at the moment but would be closed by morning. </p>
<p>Aziraphale went to the blessing as he said he would and wasn’t surprised to see that Crowley was not there. But with the battle coming up and the aftermath where he could slip away Crowley would be fine. Aziraphale needed to help make sure the people inside the castle would be fine. </p>
<p>Aziraphale didn’t see Crowley again until just after midnight, most likely only a few hours from the start of the battle. </p>
<p>“Did you bless them, I mean more than just words,” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>“A little bit of luck, can’t do much more without being seen.” </p>
<p>“I hope this works. I hope we win,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>It was an odd thought being on the same side as Crowley. They were an angel and a demon and they were most definitely enemies. In that regard at least. But tomorrow they were on the same side and Aziraphale had to admit he liked the idea. </p>
<p>“I hope so too. Stay safe tomorrow,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“You too angel.” </p>
<p>At precisely four thirty two in the morning, chilly and covered in mist, the forgotten side door opened into the courtyard. The soldiers, not a single one of them actually sleeping, waited until the invading army was well into the courtyard. </p>
<p>“Stand!” </p>
<p>The battle began, the soldiers popped up and the invading soldiers panicked at first then started to fight back. Aziraphale was a warrior who could handle a sword, but he prefered not to if he had a choice. For the moment he was going to watch from the wall and let the humans fight. </p>
<p>He tried to pick out where Crowley was but couldn’t see the demon. </p>
<p>“Right here angel,” Crowley said and Aziraphale jumped. Crowley laughed, quite a bit more than was necessary and Aziraphale almost wanted to push him off the wall. </p>
<p>“Sneaky serpent,” Aziraphale mumbled. </p>
<p>They stood side by side and watched the carnage. What began in the dark continued as the sun started to rise and the tired, half starved castle inhabitants were losing ground. </p>
<p>Several things happened all at once; a second surge of invaders came through the wall, a decent sized group of defenders were cut off, and something was wrong with the ropes lowering the gate to the central castle. </p>
<p>“Crowley…” </p>
<p>“I’ll drop the gate,” Crowley said.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“I promise angel, I’ll get it done,” Crowley said, leaving before Aziraphale could say anything else.</p>
<p> Aziraphale was going to have to go down into the fray. He manifested armor and a sword and went into the courtyard to try to get the surrounded soldiers free. He couldn’t worry about Crowley on his way to drop the gate; he was going to have to focus on his own mission. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Crowley didn’t like watching humans kill each other, it was a sad and often messy thing, but there seemed to be no end to them doing it and if it was soldier on soldier then things weren't too bad. They knew what they were getting themselves into. But the thought of the invigorated invaders getting into the inner wall and into the civilians of the castle bothered Crowley. The nuns he had helped, the children he had played with, they were all behind that wall and the gate wasn’t coming down. </p>
<p>So Crowley was going to fix it. He stayed close to the walls and on the edge of the fighting blending into the background as best he could. The drawbridge rope and the gate ropes were tangled. If he could get up to where they were tied and cut the main rope it would open the drawbridge but drop the gate. That would keep the invaders out and give him time to sabotage the drawbridge. </p>
<p>Crowley glanced back into the melee and caught sight of Aziraphale, a blur of white in a see of muddy brown. He couldn’t focus on Aziraphale; he had to keep moving. </p>
<p>He miracled himself though the gap in the drawbridge and headed up to the top of the inner wall where the ropes were tied. Crowley ran out of the staircase onto the inner wall. </p>
<p>“Aghh...ssss,” Crowley fell to his knees and groaned. There was an arrow in his chest fired from somewhere behind him; it had easily pierced Crowley’s unarmed back and now the tip was protruding through his ribs. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” he cursed and snapped the arrow and damage away just a slight sting of pain remained. </p>
<p>“I knew there was something wrong with you. All this time I knew. Then I saw you come through the gate...what are you?”</p>
<p>Crowley turned to face Captain Hill. The man had another arrow nocked. Crowley licked his lips. </p>
<p>“I’m helping, I promise you that.” </p>
<p>“What are you?</p>
<p>“I…” </p>
<p>Another arrow. This one hit him just below the tip of his breastbone. Crowley growled and made to snap it away. Nothing happened. And it was burning. </p>
<p>“First one wasn’t blessed. The rest of these are. There’s a reason you never went to church. There’s something unholy in you.” </p>
<p>Crowley struggled to breathe as the pain fully hit him and the burning continued. His corporation was dying, but the arrows weren’t blessed enough to kill his true form, it just hurt. And oh it hurt. He wanted to collapse and discorporate but he still needed to drop the gate. He had promised Aziraphale that he would. </p>
<p>Crowley moved quickly, faster than a human could making a run toward the rope he had to cut. He was fast, but arrows were faster. </p>
<p>“Agh nnnngg,” Crowley fell forward onto his belly jaring the arrow that had gone through his gut. Crowley curled in on himself and tried to breathe. He got up on his knees and tried to crawl forward closer to the rope. </p>
<p>Captain Hill stepped closer placing himself between Crowley and the rope. </p>
<p>“Cutting the gate open to doom us all?”</p>
<p>Crowley shook his head, “Helping…” He could barely get enough air into his lungs to talk. His whole chest and abdomen were burning in pain and he was starting to feel very dizzy. </p>
<p>“Unholy wretch, you die here,” Captain Hill said. </p>
<p>Crowley struggled to keep from discorporating. He had to get the rope cut if it was the last thing he did. If he rushed Captain Hill and pushed him back he could cut the rope. But Hill was holding his sword before him and would likely react in time and run Crowley through. Well he was going to discorporate anyway.</p>
<p>Oh this was going to hurt and it was going to hurt bad and was probably the worst idea Crowley had had this century. But...he could hear the screams below indicating the inner wall was almost breeched and Aziraphale…</p>
<p>With a snarl Crowley got up and rushed Captain Hill. The sword entered just above Crowley’s navel and went up and into his stomach but somehow...somehow Crowley was able to put the pain aside and cut the rope. </p>
<p>“No!” Captain Hill yelled and pushed Crowley off the sword and onto the ground. Crowley tried to breathe and immediately regretted it. He turned on his side in time to cough up blood and not choke on it. Somehow his brain registered that he heard the gate falling and the sound of a cheer below. </p>
<p>Good. He’d done it. He’d done what he’d promised and bought them some time. He wasn’t...he wasn’t going to make it to see how it all turned out. </p>
<p>Crowley let out a gurgling whimper. His corporation was shaking beyond his control as he bled out and as the holy arrows burned. He didn’t think he had the energy or concentration to leave the body before it died, it wasn’t going to be long, but every moment felt like an eternity. </p>
<p>A figure loomed before him and Captain Hill knelt down. Through blurry vision Crowley could make out the confused look on the man’s face. </p>
<p>“You helped, I...I don’t understand.” </p>
<p>Crowley didn’t think he could speak but he tried anyway, it gave him something to focus on besides the pain, “Ask…angel.” Crowley drew in a breath, bringing blood along with air and he started to cough.His lungs spasmed painfully as his vision blurred. His heart, which had been pounding, was starting to struggle to keep rhythm. Crowley wanted it to hurry up and stop.</p>
<p>Captain Hill reached out and took Crowley’s hand, “I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>“Sssalright,” Crowley choked out. He tried to inhale but his throat constricted and his chest seized. He jerked and finally, finally his heart gave out. Everything went white and his essence fled to Hell. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Aziraphale kept looking at the gate and waited for it to fall. Crowley had to be there by now. Had something gone wrong? Aziraphale made his way toward the gate. If Crowley had gotten taken down he would have to get the gate down himself. </p>
<p>Finally the gate came crashing down, about the time Aziraphale was halfway up the stairs to the rope. Aziraphale huffed, he was going to have to give Crowley a piece of his mind about waiting until the last minute. </p>
<p>Aziraphale came out of the stairwell, “Crowley...oh...oh.” Aziraphale’s hands flew to his mouth, his mind having trouble discerning what lay before him. But the shock passed and the details started to flood in. </p>
<p>Crowley was dead. Or at least his corporation was and Crowley was no longer in it. He was perfectly still laying in a pool of dark blood, his eyes were half lidded and gaze vacant. The look on his face bore the unmistakable strain of someone who had died in agony. </p>
<p>“Oh Crowley.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale came forward, finally noticing Captain Hill kneeling beside Crowley. </p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“He...I...I killed him. I thought...I saw…” Captain Hill looked at Aziraphale in utter agony of a different kind. </p>
<p>“Easy, take it slow,” Aziraphale said, sending a calming miracle toward the man. </p>
<p>“I thought there was something wrong with him. Devilish. Wouldn’t go to church. I thought he was up here to sabotage the gate and bridge. I shot him with an arrow and he...made it go away. Next two were blessed and he couldn’t...what was he?”</p>
<p>“Well this is complicated. First of all you didn’t kill him. Not permanently. You killed his body. He, Crowley is a demon.” </p>
<p>“A demon? Then I was right. But he helped.” </p>
<p>“Because I asked him to.” </p>
<p>Hill frowned, “He said to ask Angel, I thought he meant...are you?” </p>
<p>“Yes. I am an angel and Crowley is a demon and we are...friends.” </p>
<p>“I don’t understand.” </p>
<p>“It’s a bit...I don’t fully understand it myself. Now…” </p>
<p>“Are you going to smite me?” </p>
<p>“No, not at all. You have a good soul William Hill and you will continue to do good with it I know, and right now we have to defend the castle.” </p>
<p>“Right, yes, I can do that.” </p>
<p>The battle was dying down by the time the Angel and the Captain got back to it. The castle was saved in the end and the invading army retreated to their camps. After three days of hard rain they finally left for good. </p>
<p>Aziraphale stayed and helped rebuild and get the city and the farms outside it ready for winter. There were several miraculous findings of food stores and seed that would help the people survive. It would still be a lean hard winter but it would not wipe the castle off the map. </p>
<p>Captain Hill remained at his post, and he got credit for dropping the gate and saving the villagers inside. He was humble about it, all things considered, and as Aziraphale predicted he continued to do good. </p>
<p>Aziraphale debated what to do come winter and ended up deciding to stay the winter just in case more help was needed and just in case Crowley came back there looking for him. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Crowley was able to get a new body in no time. Apparently there was some trouble in the middle east and several other demons had gotten killed by angels and were in huge trouble for messing something very important up. So Crowley was pushed back up just to get him out of the way and he was never more glad to be overlooked and ignored. </p>
<p>It was winter and he knew Aziraphale well enough to know that the angel would stay at the castle with Lord Thorn all winter just to be safe. If they’d won. Crowley had to know. </p>
<p>“Well look who we have here.” </p>
<p>“Oh...shit.” </p>
<p>Captain Hill laughed, “I’m not going to kill you. Again. I don’t...really like you being here and I know what you are which makes me uncomfortable but...Aziraphale is still staying here and I know that is why you are here.” </p>
<p>“He is? Oh good, I take it the battle was won?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you...saved the day with dropping the gate.” </p>
<p>“Oh good it worked.” </p>
<p>“The uh...credit went to me,” Hill said. </p>
<p>Crowley snorted, “Well I guess that works for me. Can I come in and see Aziraphale or would you tell him I’m outside?”</p>
<p>Captain Hill looked Crowley up and down and thought, “Anything weird happens while you are here and I might find more blessed arrows, but if you behave you can come in.” </p>
<p>“Thank you Captain Hill. And again I don’t blame you for what you did.” </p>
<p>“Forgiveness from a demon. Strange world. Ineffable Aziraphale would say.” </p>
<p>“He would and he does. Often,” Crowley grumbled but followed the Captain in. Aziraphale was in the courtyard and saw them right away and lit up in a way that made Crowley’s heart flutter. </p>
<p>“Hi angel.” </p>
<p>“Crowley! Oh it is good to see you dear fellow, come inside,” Aziraphale said. He looked over at Captain Hill.</p>
<p>“As long as you keep him out of trouble,” Captain Hill said. </p>
<p>Aziraphale let out a heavily put upon sigh, “I have been doing that for millenia Captain.” </p>
<p>“Hey!” Crowley said but they ended up both laughing as they walked toward the castle. It was good to see that they had managed to protect it and that everything was going well and it was nice to be back topside and with Aziraphale. </p>
<p>It was where he belonged.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Infection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley find Aziraphale wounded at the bookshop</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley walked into the bookshop and was hit by the smell of something rotting. His nose wrinkled and he looked around for a source. The bookshop always smelled a little funny with all the old and somewhat moldy books but it usually didn’t smell this bad. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    Crowley followed his nose toward the source of the smell. It smelled like rotting flesh. Was it something Aziraphale had meant to cook and forgot about? Had he been called to a heavenly meeting without getting rid of leftovers? </p>
<p>    “Angel? Are you here?”</p>
<p>    There was a clatter from upstairs and Crowley headed in that direction. He wondered if a cat or something had gotten in and perhaps was leaving it’s half eaten goodies in the bookshop. </p>
<p>    Crowley pushed open the door to the bedroom expecting a cat or some other creature. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? What’s wrong, what’s going on?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was on the rarely used bed with the covers pulled all around him. He was pale and trembling and...the smell of rotting flesh was coming from Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale,” Crowley knelt by the bed and put his hand on the angel’s arm, “Aziraphale can you hear me?” </p>
<p>    “Crowley?” </p>
<p>    “Ssss me angel what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>    “Nothings wrong.” </p>
<p>    “You look like you’re ill, and something smells rotten something is wrong,” Crowley started patting Aziraphale down in search of the source of the smell. </p>
<p>    “Mmm fine,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “You are not….oh for Satan’s sake bless it all angel your leg!” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale’s right knee was swollen to three times the normal size and black and blue and that was most definitely where the smell was coming from. Crowley touched it gently and Aziraphale cried out in pain. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>    “Fiend. Leave me alone.” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale you’re hurt I’m not leaving you. I’m going to touch you again see if I can help,” Crowley said. Aziraphale mumbled something and Crowley examined the knee without touching it as best he could. Getting that close he could smell the rotting flesh and infection and could make out what looked like a bullet wound. </p>
<p>    “Did you get shot? Aziraphale please…” </p>
<p>    “Can’t heal it. Trouble.” </p>
<p>    “You’ll get in trouble if you heal it? What sort of bullshit is that?  You’re going to discorporate you idiot.” </p>
<p>    “I know!” Aziraphale snapped, “Didn’t think it’d take this long!” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale...you...you’re doing this on purpose?” </p>
<p>    “Yes!” </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Aziraphale, stubborn bastard that he was, was intent on seeing whatever this was through. He was discorporating  on purpose, he hadn’t healed himself and Crowley couldn’t do it. If Heaven was keeping some sort of tighter tabs on Aziraphale’s shop and there was a surge of demonic energy? That wouldn’t do. And it would take a lot of power to heal Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    His body was dying for certain, the infection was rotting the knee away and was certainly in Azriaphale’s blood by now. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed. If Aziraphale felt he needed to do this and was going to go through with it Crowley wasn’t going to stop it. It was probably dangerous to both of them to stop it now. </p>
<p>    “Angel? What can I do to help? Are you in pain?” </p>
<p>    “Hurts.” </p>
<p>    “I’m going to numb the pain, don’t you try and stop me I won’t heal it I’m just going to make it hurt less,” Crowley put his hand on the knee and killed the nerves that were causing pain. Aziraphale gave a contented sigh. </p>
<p>    “Better?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale mumbled. Crowley snapped and Aziraphale’s clothes disappeared and reformed into more comfortable pajamas and the knee was bandaged. Aziraphale mumbed again. He was pretty far gone into the infection. Crowley felt his forehead and he was burning up. His breathing was shallow and his heartbeat was weak and racing. </p>
<p>    “Oh angel why are you doing this?” Crowley asked, manifesting a cool cloth to put on Aziraphale’s forehead. Crowley was frustrated with the whole thing and wanted to leave Aziraphale to his stubborn unnecessary discorporation. But he couldn’t leave Aziraphale alone and helpless. </p>
<p>    It probably wasn’t going to take long for him to discorporate. </p>
<p>    Crowley sat by his side and made a mental list of what he was going to ask Aziraphale when he came back from heaven. </p>
<p>    A few hours later Aziraphale started to squirm and clench his hands into fists. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale grunted, “Can’t...breathe…” </p>
<p>    “You’re discorporating Aziraphale, just let it happen,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Ugh...Crowley help!” Aziraphale reached for Crowley, scrabbling and breathing heavily panicked and confused. </p>
<p>    “Oh Angel,” Crowley slid into the bed beside Aziraphale and drew the panicking angel into his arms. Aziraphale was trembling and using any energy he had left to breathe. </p>
<p>    “Crowley!” </p>
<p>    “I’m here angel, I’m here. You’re discorporating and you’ll be back in no time and we’ll have a drink,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale mumbled and continued to tremble burying his head against Crowley’s chest. He was still fighting it struggling for air. </p>
<p>    “Sss alright Aziraphale. I’m here, you’re safe.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale’s body shook with every attempted breath and his heart was struggling. He was whimpering a little and clutching at Crowley. Crowley had one hand running through Aziraphale’s blonde curls and the other on his back trying to keep him steady. </p>
<p>    “C...Crow…” </p>
<p>    “It’s me angel. You’re just discorporating and I’ll see you when you get back yeah?”</p>
<p>    “Oh…” </p>
<p>    With that Aziraphale went limp and Crowley felt the angel’s essence leave the corporation. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed and kept running his fingers through Aziraphale’s hair, “Oh you stubborn idiot why did you have to go through all that? And why didn’t you call me over? I could have helped! Could’ve helped sooner. You should have known I would. Stubborn bastard you are.” </p>
<p>    Crowley stayed like that for a few minutes more before leaving the room and heading downstairs. It could take a while for Aziraphale to get a new corporation or he could be back down shortly it all depended. Crowley wasn’t going to wait around in the bookshop just in case Aziraphale came back with other angels but he was going to keep calling until the angel picked up. </p>
<p>    And then...and then he had some questions for the Angel. </p>
<p>    Two months passed before Aziraphale came back and Crowley made an excuse to go and see him in the bookshop. He couldn’t quite get the image of Aziraphale discorporating out of his mind, or the memory of the smell of rotting flesh, but he tried to shake it off. </p>
<p>    “It’s good to be back,” Aziraphale said as he poured them both a drink, “Can you believe they added more paperwork to the process.” </p>
<p>    “Hmm, they like their paperwork don’t they,” Crowley said. Aziraphale complained about the paperwork a little longer as Crowley tried to figure out how to ask Aziraphale what had happened. In the end he decided to just come out and ask him. </p>
<p>    “So...what was that about Aziraphale? Letting yourself discorporate from a bullet wound you could have easily healed?”</p>
<p>    “Ah,” Aziraphale started to fiddle with his glass, “So that was real. I wasn’t sure if you were really here.” </p>
<p>    “I was.” </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry dear I didn’t want you to see that,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Why did you do it angel?”</p>
<p>    “I...well I got in trouble for doing too many miracles and I was being stubborn and didn’t heal myself. I hoped Gabriel might get off my case about things. I don’t know. It was stupid.” </p>
<p>    “So you did it to be a pain to Gabriel, but following rules perfectly?” </p>
<p>    “Yes.” </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed, “Stubborn. You didn’t...think you deserved it or…” </p>
<p>    “Oh. Oh no my dear. I agree now that it was quite silly of me but I really was thinking more about being a nuisance than any feeling of doubt about myself. I can see how one might think that though.” </p>
<p>    Crowley felt a little better knowing Aziraphale’s reasons. A little. He stayed and they drank and they talked and Crowley felt better. </p>
<p>    “Thank you dear, for staying with me,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Course. I’ll always be here for you angel,” Crowley said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Poisoned</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes a demon doesn't realize something's been blessed until they've already eaten it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale was happy to accept Tracy’s invitation to dinner. Crowley was a little less keen on the whole idea but eventually he talked the demon into it. </p>
<p>    “Without Tracy we would have been lost at the end,” Aziraphale said.</p>
<p>    “I know angel it’s just...Shadwell. He discorporated you and burned down the shop.” </p>
<p>    “Well only sort of dear. I did back into the circle myself and he didn’t start the fire on purpose, something probably fell over,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Still.” </p>
<p>    “Oh come now dear you’ve worked with the man for decades now.” </p>
<p>    “So have you and we’ve both been swindled by him.” </p>
<p>    “What’s the harm, a single man, he’s not all that bad,” Aziraphale said, “Perhaps an acquired taste.” </p>
<p>    Crowley broke into laughter over that and stopped trying to wheedle his way out of dinner. And it was a wonderful dinner at that, Tracy made the most wonderful roast and had excellent taste in wine. </p>
<p>    They talked and laughed and it looked like Crowley was having a good time. </p>
<p>    “That was fun...oh don’t get that look on your face,” Crowley sighed, “Fine fine you were right. I had fun.” </p>
<p>    “Good, I’m glad you had fun dear,” Aziraphale said smiling as he got in the Bentley. Crowley drove them back to the bookshop and got out to open the door for Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Come in for a drink?” </p>
<p>    “I...maybe…” </p>
<p>    “What’s wrong Crowley, you don’t look well.” </p>
<p>    “Don’t feel well,” he said. </p>
<p>    “You best come in then and sit down, what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale came over and wrapped an arm around Crowley’s waist to help him into the shop and onto the couch. He was trembling a little and looked pale. When he tossed his sunglasses off his eyes looked unfocused. </p>
<p>    “Crowley?” </p>
<p>    “Stomach hurts. Might be sick. Oh I think something might have been blessed.” </p>
<p>    “Oh dear...I don’t think…” </p>
<p>    “No. Doubt it was them, would have sensed it. Meat was probably blessed at slaughter or something. Blessed right too,” Crowley groaned and put his head between his knees. </p>
<p>    “Do you need help to the bathroom dear?” </p>
<p>    “Mmmhmm.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale used a miracle to get them both into the bathroom and just in time too. Crowley barely had time to get to his knees before he started vomiting. </p>
<p>    “Oh dear,” Aziraphale came forward and pulled Crowley’s hair back out of his face and the poor demon continued to vomit. </p>
<p>    “Ugh, don’t like to do this the human way,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I know dear,” Aziraphale said. Crowley flushed the toilet but continued to sit on the floor and it wasn’t another minute or so before he started to vomit again. Aziraphale stayed with him holding his hair and rubbing his back. </p>
<p>    After a few minutes of dry heaving it looked like it was all over and Crowley sat back a little. Aziraphale dropped his hair and got Crowley a cup of water to wash his mouth out. </p>
<p>    “Thank you,” he said. </p>
<p>    “Of course dear.” </p>
<p>    “Think I’m done.” </p>
<p>    “Good, let’s get you into the bed and you can take a nap or stay here the whole night,” Aziraphale said. Aziraphale helped Crowley up, noticing how unsteady he was as Aziraphale led him to the bed. Crowley crawled into the bed onto his side drawing the covers over himself. </p>
<p>    “There’s a bucket right down here, I’m going to go get a few things and I’ll be right back,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley nodded and mumbled something. Aziraphale went downstairs and grabbed some more water, and a packet of crackers and some ginger ale if Crowley needed that later. He made a quick stop at his desk to grab his current read and headed back upstairs. </p>
<p>    Crowley hadn’t vomited again which was a good sign but he was shivering and moaned every once in a while. </p>
<p>    “Can I get you anything love?” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Ngk, no.” </p>
<p>    “I’m going to be right here reading if you need anything,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Mmmm.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sat on the other side of the bed getting into a comfortable position for reading. Crowley moved after a few moments; flipping to face Aziraphale and reaching out toward him. Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand; he could easily turn the pages on handed. Aziraphale wasn’t sure when Crowley had fallen asleep but at some point he looked over and could tell Crowley was deep in sleep. </p>
<p>    “Poor dear,” Aziraphale said, “Sleep well.” Aziraphale didn’t exactly know how blessed something had to be to hurt Crowley but had to be awful to be poisoned by something he thought was safe. Aziraphale was going to have to shower Crowley with love if this put him in a mood. He would probably do it anyway. </p>
<p>    Crowley woke with a moan early in the morning, “Oh...ah...ngk I.” </p>
<p>    “Crowley? Do you need something dear?” </p>
<p>    “Thirsty.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale retrieved water and the ginger ale and offered both to Crowley and he took the ginger ale. Aziraphale helped him sit up. </p>
<p>    “Slowly.” </p>
<p>    “I know,” Crowley said, “Thank you.”  Crowley sipped on the ginger ale and looked quite a bit better than he had the night before. </p>
<p>    “You look like you’re feeling better.” </p>
<p>    “A bit yeah, stomach still feels a bit off but I think it’s out of my system. Thank you angel for taking care of me. Easier than when I’m alone.” </p>
<p>    “Does this happen often?” </p>
<p>    “Used to, not so much anymore. Out of the habit of checking and it’s sometimes hard to tell when somethings been cooked and not blessed by the chef. Sometimes the blessing isn’t complete either and it just gives me a bit of a stomach ache.” </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry love,” Aziraphale said.</p>
<p>    Crowley nearly dropped the ginger ale and made a couple of unintelligible noises and a blush spread across his pale features. Aziraphale couldn’t help but chuckle a little. </p>
<p>    “Gonna kill me with that angel.” </p>
<p>    “With love?” </p>
<p>    “Ngk. Yep.” </p>
<p>    “I don’t want to kill you dear but I do love you.” </p>
<p>    Crowley groaned, “Love you too.” He finished off the ginger ale and set the bottle on the nightstand before settling back down into the blankets, “Can I stay here today?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale snuggled closer to Crowley putting his hand on the Demon’s cheek, “Of course you can. You can stay as long as you like.” </p>
<p>    “Might be a long time.” </p>
<p>    “That’s alright love,” Aziraphale said, enjoying the way Crowley was blushing before the demon buried himself in blankets.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Exhaustion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley's been avoiding sleep for fear of nightmares, Aziraphale is tired as well, maybe a nap together would help?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley didn’t need sleep. He was a demon and even though he was inhabiting a human corporation he didn’t need to have any human functions to exist. He didn’t need his heart to beat or his lungs to take in air, he didn’t need to eat, and he most definitely didn’t need to sleep. </p>
<p>    The longer he was on earth however the more he let his body function like a human just for the sake of convenience. He had a heartbeat, he breathed, he ate well really he drank more than eating, and he slept. </p>
<p>    He slept when he felt tired, he slept when things weren’t going well, he slept when it all got too much and there was nothing else to do. He didn’t need it, but he was used to it.</p>
<p>    It had been a month since the apocalypse didn’t happen and he hadn’t slept since before that. He didn’t need to sleep, and there was less to worry about wasn’t there? He and Aziraphale were safe and they were experimenting with what that meant for their relationship. </p>
<p>    At the moment Crowley was driving to meet Aziraphale for lunch and then they were going back to the bookshop for the afternoon. </p>
<p>    “Hello dear,” Aziraphale said with a smile. Was Crowley imagining things or did Aziraphale look tired too? Aziraphale didn’t sleep at all but he looked like he could use a nap. </p>
<p>    “Angel,” Crowley said. He tried not to think about sleep but it seemed that was what his mind went to when the conversation lulled. He was tired and he wanted to sleep. But he didn’t need to and it was ridiculous. </p>
<p>    Back at the bookshop on the couch Crowley still tried not to think about how tired he was and how much he wanted to sleep. He thought Aziraphale looked tired as well, had he noticed that earlier? He had hadn’t he?</p>
<p>    “My dear what is wrong?” </p>
<p>    “Mmm nothing angel, all good isn’t it?” </p>
<p>    “In some ways but you look...well you look tired dear.” </p>
<p>    “I...I’m fine.” </p>
<p>    “I don’t think…” </p>
<p>    “I said I’m fucking fine angel!” Crowley snapped and then gasped at himself and froze. Aziraphale looked a little hurt and Crowley wanted to cry. </p>
<p>    “I’m...I’m sorry angel I...oh I am so tired!” Crowley sunk further into the couch and covered his face. </p>
<p>    “You could take a nap here if you want to?” Aziraphale suggested. </p>
<p>    “I…” </p>
<p>    “I’m worried. You...I’ve known you so long and you’ve never done this before. You seem to like sleep and I know you sleep when you’re worried and stressed and anxious and you are all those things about sleeping at the moment.” </p>
<p>    “I’m...scared of nightmares,” Crowley muttered. </p>
<p>    “Have you had them before?” </p>
<p>    “Yup.” </p>
<p>    “I can stay with you, wake you up if you need it.” </p>
<p>    “You look like you could use a nap too angel.” </p>
<p>    “Maybe I do,” Aziraphale said, “I have to admit I feel rather exhausted lately. I think we should maybe...sleep together.” </p>
<p>    Crowley spluttered and made several odd noises and his cheeks were undoubtedly turning as red as his hair. Then Aziraphale had the audacity to giggle. </p>
<p>    “Well not like that dear but we could go up to the bed and try to sleep. Maybe being close to each other will help. If that wouldn’t bother you.” </p>
<p>    “No, wouldn’t bother me at all. We could...yeah...we could try.” </p>
<p>    “I’ll make some tea and we’ll give it a go then,” Aziraphale said. Crowley made his way up to the room and bed and the ridiculous tartan bed sheets and quilt and smiled fondly at it all. Crowley snapped into some pajamas and got into the bed. Aziraphale came in with two cups of what smelled like chamomile tea.</p>
<p>    “Tartan pajamas and tartan bed sheets,” Crowley muttered. Aziraphale got into bed and Crowley looked over at the angel. Oh he had thought about doing this before, sleeping in the same bed as Aziraphale like a human couple. Knowing Aziraphale was there was such a comfort and it made him feel safe. Maybe that alone would help stave off nightmares. </p>
<p>    Crowley drank a few sips of the tea before settling down into the bed and watching Aziraphale. His glasses were on the nightstand already and he blushed when Aziraphale looked at him. </p>
<p>    “Hi angel.” </p>
<p>    “You’re nice and relaxed,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Mmm, so tired.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale set his tea aside and pulled the blankets around both of them laying on his pillow and looking at Crowley. </p>
<p>    “We’re safe love,” Aziraphale said. It was safe and Crowley knew it and he was so tired and the ridiculous tartan bed was more comfortable than it should be and Aziraphale was there with him. </p>
<p>    “I love you,” Crowley said, only half aware that he had really said it out loud. Aziraphale made a pleased little noise and took his hand. Crowley wanted to look at Aziraphale’s face but everything was slipping away. </p>
<p>    Crowley woke with a jolt some hours later confused for a moment until he saw the tartan and the sleeping angel next to him. Good. The angel had looked terribly exhausted and Crowley had tried to get the bastard to sleep for so long.</p>
<p>    The angel was gorgeous like this, relaxed and at ease even sharing a bed with a demon. Aziraphale trusted him and he trusted Aziraphale. Crowley drifted in and out of sleep for several hours, what must have been the rest of the day and through the night. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale got up early in the morning and when Crowley woke up again he was there with coffee and pastries. </p>
<p>    “Sleep well?” </p>
<p>    “Yes, you?” Crowley asked stretching.</p>
<p>    “Yes. I hate to admit it but you are quite right about a good sleep.” </p>
<p>    “Been telling you for years angel.” </p>
<p>    Breakfast in bed with Aziraphale was such a small thing really but it felt so right and so good and Crowley should have tried to do this earlier and not run himself into the ground with exhaustion. He looked at Aziraphale and the angel was looking a little nervous. </p>
<p>    “Something wrong?” </p>
<p>    “No. Well. Do you remember what you said before you fell asleep?”</p>
<p>    Crowley felt his stomach clench and he worried that he had gone too fast and maybe ruined things, “I said I love you.” Might as well step right on into it. </p>
<p>    “You mean it?”</p>
<p>    “Of course I do angel. I love you.” </p>
<p>    “I love you too.” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled and felt the tension fade away. This was good. He hadn’t messed it up and he wasn’t exhausted anymore and neither was the angel. It would all be fine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Sensory Deprivation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale is cursed, Crowley has to find the solution and isn't going to like the answer.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale knew he was in trouble the second he opened the book. He shouldn’t have opened it. He knew it had some sort of curse on it and a very strong demonic one by the feel of it but...oh he just couldn’t help it. Now it was too late. He couldn’t stop it. He felt the power surge into him and soak through to his core and for a moment he just stood still. There was no pain and he was not discorporating. He didn’t feel odd he looked back to the book and...oh...his vision was quite blurry. </p>
<p>    “Well that isn’t good,” he said out loud and oh no that didn’t sound right at all. Something was wrong with his ears. Aziraphale looked around through eyes that weren’t working right and wondered what he was going to do. </p>
<p>    Crowley. He had to find Crowley. He hadn’t seen Crowley in years and rumor was he was somewhere up in Scotland. There was no way Aziraphale could get there quickly enough without using a miracle. </p>
<p>    What he should do was go to Heaven and get the whole thing fixed but he didn’t...he’d just gotten in trouble for the whole piracy incident and it wouldn’t do to go to heaven cursed. So he would have to use all the energy he could to find Crowley and teleport to him and hope that he would help without laughing too much. </p>
<p>    By the time Aziraphale had teleported to somewhere near Crowley he could barely see. The world was fuzzy like looking from underwater and seemed dimmer than usual. He couldn’t hear right either and his hands felt a bit numb where they gripped the book. He made his way along the street of the small village as best he could heading toward what wounded like church bells. At least there he would be safe. He bumped into several people because he couldn’t see them until he was almost on them. Aziraphale was shaking and crying by the time he reached the church. </p>
<p>    “Can I help you my child,” the priest, or what Aziraphale assumed to be the priest, asked. </p>
<p>    “Ah yes. Hello. I’m...I’m searching for a friend by the name of Crowley, red hair dark glasses.” </p>
<p>    “Now what would you be looking for her for? Mark my words she is nothing but trouble.” </p>
<p>    “I know, I just...family.” </p>
<p>    “Ah well you’ll find her out on the moors,” The priest said.</p>
<p>    Aziraphale didn’t know if he would be able to find Crowley on the moors but he had to try. Maybe if he got close enough Crowley would come to him. He had to try. He left the village and headed out into the moors in the direction the priest had indicated. </p>
<p>    He couldn’t see much, everything was a blur even though he was sure it was a sunny day it might as well be foggy and dark. He couldn’t hear much either and after a mile or so he sank to his knees. He wasn’t going to be able to find Crowley in time and he was losing all his senses and he didn’t know how long or if it would actually discorporate him or if he was going to be stuck like this. </p>
<p>    “Crowley!” he called out but his voice was barely a whisper. Oh no he was going to lose that ability as well. He was going to be trapped on the moors and he shouldn’t have done this at all. Go to Crowley; he should have gone to Heaven. </p>
<p>    “Crowley...oh…” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sat on the moors shivering as the wind picked up and wondering how long he would be stuck there. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    There was an angel somewhere nearby. Crowley could smell it and after two or three more scents she realized it was Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “Oh good,” she said with a sigh not wanting to deal with an annoying angel at the moment. Aziraphale was different. Aziraphale was fun. Crowley walked along the path toward town to meet the angel. </p>
<p>    As she got closer she stopped. Something was crying out on the moors. She took a whiff and...Aziraphale? What was the angel doing crying on the moors? Crowley went to investigate. </p>
<p>    She found Aziraphale sitting on a tussock of grass and weeping. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale didn’t look up and Crowley looked around. Something was wrong if Aziraphale wasn’t responding. Crowley noticed a book and could feel demonic energy coming off it. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale,” she knelt before the Angel reaching out for him. Aziraphale made a strangled yelping sound and flailed back. </p>
<p>    “It’s me, it’s Crowley,” Crowley took Aziraphale’s hand and brought it up so he could feel the glasses on Crowley’s face. Aziraphale felt the glasses and brushed the side of Crowley’s face running his finger along her snake tattoo. </p>
<p>    “Crowley,” Aziraphale squeaked, “Help me.” </p>
<p>    Crowley waved her hand in front of Aziraphale’s eyes. He couldn’t see and he wasn’t hearing well it seemed. Crowley got him up and walked back to the little hut she lived in. She was going to have to look at the book and see what she could do about it. </p>
<p>    Crowley helped Aziraphale down into a chair and gently took the book from his hands. There was nothing special about the books itself or the words therein. It was the demonic curse placed upon it that was different. Crowley realized it was meant to trap an angel in a corporation without any senses. Unless Crowley could lift the curse Aziraphale would be like that until he was...discorporated. </p>
<p>    “I can fix this, I’ll find a way,” Crowley said mostly to herself as Aziraphale couldn’t hear her. She would be safe here until Crowley figured out how to undo the curse. </p>
<p>    She looked at the book for clues first just in case there was something there she had missed the first time. There was no hidden writing or clear demonic signature, nothing hidden in the binding or the pages. </p>
<p>    She went back to Aziraphale and took his hand. Aziraphale didn’t jump this time which was a good thing. She sent a little energy into Aziraphale to see what he could see beneath the surface. The curse was tightly woven and the more she searched the more Crowley realized that it could only be undone one way. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale needed to be discorporated. Violently. </p>
<p>    “No. No. Damn it.” It was one thing to have to discorporate Aziraphale, he’d done it out of necessity before but that time they had made a deal but now he didn’t know how to communicate to Aziraphale what he had to do to save him. </p>
<p>    Crowley got up and paced back and forth a little bit trying to think. Aziraphale sat clearly scared and worried but not to the point that he was shaking. Crowley could kill him easily. Very easily but...oh he couldn’t do it like this! </p>
<p>    She grabbed the knife off the table and went toward the angel. This should be easy he was an angel and she was a demon and this was the way it was supposed to happen wasn’t it? Crowley swallowed and sat by Aziraphale holding his hand and holding the knife just in front of his throat. </p>
<p>    “No. Shit. Fuck,” Crowley lowered the knife. He couldn’t do it. Not when Aziraphale was just sitting there unaware of what was going on. </p>
<p>    It took Crowley the better part of an hour to calm down and think through the problem. She sat back down and took Aziraphale’s hand and traced the word nod in his palm. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale frowned for a moment and Crowley repeated the writing, slower that time. Aziraphale nodded. Crowley traced the word good onto his palm and then started slowly tracing letters on Aziraphale’s hand to tell him that she was going to have to discorporate him. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stiffened as Crowley ended the message. Aziraphale took her hand and wrote back that he understood. Crowley still didn’t know how he was going to do it and he really didn’t want to do it at all, but it was the only way. The heart should do it. She went to the table and got a knife. </p>
<p>    She put the tip to Aziraphale’s chest then helped him lie back in the bed. Aziraphale nodded.</p>
<p>    “I’m so sorry angel, I’m so sorry.” </p>
<p>    Crowley thrust the knife into Aziraphale’s chest pulling the knife out and tossing it aside. Aziraphale struggled and Crowley pulled him into her arms until he had stopped shaking and she felt his essence leave. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry,” Crowley muttered and started to cry. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Aziraphale headed across the moor to where he thought Crowley’s little hut was. He had no idea if she was there. It hadn’t been long. As he approached he saw Crowley from the back. A simple black dress and hair done up in intricate braids. </p>
<p>    “Crowley.” </p>
<p>    Crowley jumped and exclaimed and whirled around, “Oh...Aziraphale! Come inside will you?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale followed him inside and didn’t miss how nervous he looked, “Thank you. I know you don’t like thanks but you got me out of that curse.” </p>
<p>    “I...I had to…” </p>
<p>    “I know but it was the only way. You did well figuring out how to talk to me in that state. I felt perfectly safe here even when I guessed discorporation might be the only way out.” </p>
<p>    Crowley blushed a little and looked down. She was upset and uncomfortable over the whole thing and it broke Aziraphales heart to see it. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry dear, that you had to do that,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Just glad I could find a way to tell you before I did it,” Crowley said, “I almost didn’t.” </p>
<p>    “I would have worked it all out eventually but I do appreciate knowing it was coming,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Just try not to touch anymore cursed books please,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I will try. So what have you been up to out here in the middle of nowhere?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley smiled and Aziraphale was sure he was going to be laughing soon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Disorientation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley doesn't know where he is, how he got there, or why his legs hurt so much.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley was aware. Very very aware. And what he was aware of was that he didn’t know what the heaven was going on. Nothing made sense to any of his senses and he was desperately trying to figure out why he was so disoriented. </p>
<p>    Dark. Alright it was dark. Most of the times when he woke disoriented in the dark he was in his bed or perhaps on Aziraphale’s couch and had fallen asleep. But this wasn’t the shop and it wasn’t his flat and there was smoke or some sort of dust settling and…</p>
<p>    Pain. </p>
<p>    Crowley cried out drawing in a lungful of dust and coughing. </p>
<p>    What the heaven was going on? He tried to move his legs which were screaming out in pain but he couldn’t move them; there was something heavy on them. Why was there something heavy on his legs? </p>
<p>    “Crowley!” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale. Aziraphale was here. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Aziraphale didn’t sound like he was in pain which was definitely a good thing but he didn’t know why Aziraphale was here. He didn’t even know where ‘here’ was. </p>
<p>    “Mmm here,” he called out after a moment. </p>
<p>    “Oh! Hold on we’ll get you out.” </p>
<p>    Out. Alright he was in something then? Stuck in something. An accident? That would explain why it was dark and dusty and why there was something on his legs. He must have been with Aziraphale when whatever had happened and now they were going to get him out.</p>
<p>    He tried to remember what they had been doing but he could not make his brain work to figure out what was going on. He could hear the sound of moving metal and a bit further away steam and oh! They had been on a train. That was it, they had been on the train and it apparently had crashed and he was stuck in the wreckage. </p>
<p>    Crowley wasn’t sure if there was a reason he shouldn’t miracle himself out but since Aziraphale was already digging he might as well let him as long as it didn’t get more dangerous for the rescuers. </p>
<p>    Something was lifted off overhead and Crowley was suddenly blinded by the incoming light. He winced and then there was someone beside him. </p>
<p>    “Almost out dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “What happened?” </p>
<p>    “Train crashed. I was making sure the other cars didn’t get as badly mangled, got thrown out and you got crushed,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Makes sense,” Crowley said. He didn’t remember the whole thing but he supposed at that very moment it didn’t matter. His legs were throbbing and he wanted to be out of the whole mess. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale gave directions to a couple of other men then used his strength to lift the wreckage off Crowley’s legs as the other pulled him out. Crowley cried out in pain as he was pulled and quickly dropped with a couple of gasps. </p>
<p>    Oh that wasn’t good. That was a noise humans made when they saw something unbelievable and disturbing. Often something bloody or twisted. Crowley really really didn’t want to look down at his legs. </p>
<p>    Crowley looked down at his legs. </p>
<p>    “Oh…” </p>
<p>    One of his legs was nearly torn off at the knee bent away at a strange angle that made his stomach twist. The other was crushed and swollen, bone sticking out of his thigh. His hips were twisting oddly too. Seeing it made it hurt worse and him grimaced. This was going to take a bit of work to heal properly. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale crawled back over to him and surveyed the damage, “Oh dear.” </p>
<p>    Crowley laughed at that and looked around at the gathered people. Aziraphale followed his gaze. </p>
<p>    “I can’t...do anything with them watching,” Aziraphale said so only Crowley could hear him. </p>
<p>    “Well send them away,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “They’ll disburse easier if you...die. Not really but…” </p>
<p>    “You want...you want me to do a death scene? Here?”</p>
<p>    “Well if you wouldn’t mind, I’ve done too much as it is and you can heal yourself once they’ve gone,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “How dramatic do you want it to be? Shakespearean? Operatic? Should I sing?” </p>
<p>    “Oh you silly serpent…” </p>
<p>    “Right…” Crowley grabbed onto Aziraphale’s hand and started breathing heavily. He made himself shake and even let out a couple of moans. He could get very dramatic about it and have fun annoying Aziraphale with his theatrics but his legs really did hurt and the sooner they didn’t have an audience the better. Crowley let himself slip into what looked like unconsciousness and a short time later stopped his heart and stopped breathing making sure he looked deathly pale as well. </p>
<p>    As Aziraphale had predicted the humans moved away and Crowley came back to ‘life’ and started to properly heal himself. It took longer than he thought it would and it hurt like nothing else but when it was done he was able to get up and walk on his newly fixed legs. </p>
<p>    “Much better,” he said. </p>
<p>    “Thank you my dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “No problem angel,” Crowley said, “I still think I should have sung something. Would have been fun to see their reactions.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale shook his head but he was smiling as he did so and Crowley laughed. They walked a little ways away from where the train had crashed and Crowley really couldn’t remember where they were going and couldn’t quite pick out where they were. </p>
<p>    “Uh angel what are we doing?”</p>
<p>    “Walking.” </p>
<p>    Crowley snorted, “Well I know that! I mean where are we and what are we doing. I don’t...don’t really remember what we were up to before the crash.” </p>
<p>    “We’re heading back to the east coast of America dear, we went out west as a getaway,” Aziraphale said. Crowley nodded and as he thought about it the memories started flowing back in his brain. </p>
<p>    “Ah I remember some now. M sorry, crash actually did a number on my brain,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I’m glad it turned out alright, that you weren't actually discorporated. I called out for you for quite some time before you answered and I was worried you’d gone.” </p>
<p>    “Still here angel, ready to annoy you at any given moment. I really should have sang a nice operatic note as I died,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Oh you,” Aziraphale said and Crowley laughed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Concussion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale gets concussed and comes to the conclusion that Crowley isn't Crowley and that something has to be done about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale braced himself as Crowley took another turn like he was trying to flip the car over. If it was a human driving the car it probably would have flipped or at least veered into oncoming traffic. </p>
<p>    “Really dear we are in no hurry.” </p>
<p>    “Wha...sorry angel,” Crowley said and actually might have slowed down just a little. Driving with Crowley was always a risk and not one Aziraphale was enjoying at the moment. Being with Crowley was fun but sometimes he just wished the demon would slow down and drive carefully. </p>
<p>    And they were in no hurry. Warlock and his family were in America for the week and they didn’t need tutors to go with them so Crowley and Aziraphale had gone north for a few days and were headed back to London. They still had several days before they had to be back at the Dowlings. </p>
<p>    By the time they pulled back in front of the shop Aziraphale’s nerves were shot and he just wanted to go in and have a drink which he was considering not inviting Crowley in to share. Aziraphale got out and made his way across the street to the shop. </p>
<p>    He heard the car horn honk and then he was sprawling against the pavement. His head hurt and his hands were scratched but he got to his knees if a little wobbly. There were voices and Crowley shouted and then he was being helped into the shop by Crowley. </p>
<p>    “Angel? Are you alright?” </p>
<p>    Crowley was kneeling before him, glasses off and looking into Aziraphale’s eyes. </p>
<p>    “I’m...a little shaken to be honest.” </p>
<p>    “I’ll take care of your hands, is your head alright? You look like you hit it pretty hard,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “It’s fine.  I think. I’ll keep an eye on it,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Okay,” Crowley said and went about healing Aziraphale’s hands. It felt much better when it was done and with his hands better he started to notice the pain in his head. </p>
<p>    “Thank you dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Ngk, do you want me to do your head?” </p>
<p>    “No I think I’m fine on my own,” Aziraphale said, “I just need to rest and...to be alone.” </p>
<p>    “Oh, you want me to leave? Are you sure? Head injuries can be tricky and I should stay to make sure you’re alright. I can...just be on my phone in the corner. Won’t talk to you.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “I want you to leave!” </p>
<p>    “Sure. Sure angel uh I...I’ll call you later to check up okay?” </p>
<p>    “Right,” Aziraphale said. He ignored the fact that Crowley was pouting as he left and sighed that he was finally alone in the nice quiet bookshop. Damn Crowley and his driving for making him so anxious that he got hit by a car. </p>
<p>He made himself a cocoa and sat back down. He was halfway through the cup when his stomach started to turn and he set the cup down with a groan. Something was wrong. Had he been poisoned? Had Crowley done something? Another demon? </p>
<p>    Aziraphale laid down on the couch and tried to ignore how much his head hurt and how much he wanted to vomit. Something startled him and he looked up and...it had gotten dark already. They had gotten back to the bookshop only a little after noon and now it was dark? </p>
<p>    He tried to stand but he was dizzy. Someone had done something to him and he wanted them to pay. Crowley. Crowley had done something to him. It’s why he was driving them home so fast and why he hadn’t stopped the car from hitting him and he had probably wanted to stay and finish him off. </p>
<p>    Because...because it wasn’t Crowley. Oh he should have sensed it! There was another demon in Crowley’s body probably took over the instant Aziraphale was hit. He needed to go rescue Crowley or have the not Crowley come back over. </p>
<p>    The phone rang and Aziraphale forced himself up to answer it. </p>
<p>    “How are you feeling?” </p>
<p>    “Horrible, can you…” </p>
<p>    “Be over in a flash,” Not-Crowley said. Good that was good, all Aziraphale had to do was wait till the imposter walked in and then he would smite him.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Crowley had been pacing most of the afternoon. He should have stayed with Aziraphale. There was something wrong with his head. He should have just not asked and done it and then he wouldn’t be worrying that something was terribly wrong. </p>
<p>    Of course maybe Aziraphale was fine, just a headache and had been embarrassed by being hit more than anything and had wanted to sulk alone. If Aziraphale had a concussion though it could get bad. Crowley had been discorporated by a concussion once and he’d been so confused. Certainly Aziraphale knew though if he had a concussion and would ask for help or figure it out before it was too late. </p>
<p>    Crowley didn’t want to seem overbearing and push Aziraphale away by calling too soon or coming over when he wasn’t asked. Things had been going so well. </p>
<p>    Finally a little after sun down he called and Aziraphale wanted him to come over. He should have stayed. Bless it all he should have stayed. He got to the bookshop as fast as he could and burst into the door. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    He looked around the dark bookshop and…</p>
<p>    “Oh shit Aziraphale.” He was on the floor and he wasn’t moving and Crowley wished he would have stayed. He knelt next to the fallen angel and reached to see if he was still living. Aziraphale cried out and jumped on Crowley wrapping his hand around Crowley’s neck. </p>
<p>    “Ggg Az...ugh…” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale tightened his grip and Crowley couldn’t breathe and even if he didn’t have to it still made him panic and then...white hot holy power surged into him and if he could have screamed he would have. It was agony burning in a way no earthly fire could burning right through his corporation and into the essence beneath. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was smiting him. </p>
<p>    Crowley writhed and tried to pull Aziraphale’s hands off his neck. He tried bringing his knee up between Aziraphale’s legs but his muscles were not listening to him and he was burning. </p>
<p>    Too much and he would die. Actually die and not just discorporate. </p>
<p>    Crowley could still lift his hand and if he could just heal the concussion that was confusing the angel maybe he had a chance of surviving. Crowley’s hand was shaking and reaching any of his power was difficult but he had to try. Even if it killed him; he had to try. </p>
<p>    He found the concussed part of Aziraphale’s brain and started to heal. Oh bless it all he was in pain and he wasn’t going to survive. Of all the ways to die; killed by the being he loved most. Crowley’s hand slipped away from Aziraphale’s temple. He wasn’t sure he’d done enough but he didn’t have any energy left. </p>
<p>    The burning pain calmed and Crowley wondered if this was it. Just before he passed out he thought he caught a look of horrified recognition on Aziraphale’s face before everything went dark. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>    Aziraphale felt the demon’s weak attempt to befuddle his brain and ignored it. The demon was making a screeching sort of sound as Aziraphale filled him with holy energy and soon he would be gone. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale blinked. What. What was he doing? Crowley it was...oh God. Aziraphale stopped releasing his grip on Crowley’s neck just as the demon went limp. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? No, no please what...what have I done.” Everything was clear now what had happened and he’d...he’d. Crowley hadn’t discorporated which normally would be a good thing but now Aziraphale wondered if it meant his essence was too weak to leave and would die in the human body. </p>
<p>    “What do I do? Oh what do I do.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale healed Crowely’s corporation, restarted the heart and the lungs hoping that somehow that would give strength to Crowley’s essence. He lifted Crowley off the floor and deposited him on the couch propping him up and draping a blanket over him. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry Crowley, oh I’m so sorry. Please stay with me.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale paced and he twisted one hand in the other and he thought of what he could do. He couldn’t heal a holy injury and he had almost fatally smote Crowley. He really didn’t think there was much he could do beyond keeping Crowley safe and hoping he recovered. </p>
<p>    He checked every few minutes at first to see if Crowley was further fading but it didn’t seem like it. He wasn’t getting better yet but he wasn’t slipping away either. He thought about discorporating Crowley hoping that hell could better heal his essence but he had a feeling that if he severed the connection between Crowley’s corporation and his essence the essence would fade away. </p>
<p>    So he waited. He would remain by Crowley's side no matter what happened. He would be with Crowley until he either woke or passed. He thought about never hearing Crowley’s voice again, or never seeing his eyes or his smile and he cried. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale spoke to Crowley often hoping his voice would give something for Crowley to tether to. </p>
<p>    A week passed and then two. Crowley was getting better but it was slow going. Aziraphale would be there as long as he had to be. </p>
<p>    One day shy of a month Crowley woke up. Aziraphale was sitting by his side reading out loud to him holding his hand. Crowley groaned a little and Aziraphale stopped reading. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? Are you awake? Can you hear me.” </p>
<p>    Crowley mumbled something and Aziraphale knelt down to hear him better. </p>
<p>    “What was that dear?” </p>
<p>    “You know I don’t like Wilde.” </p>
<p>    “Oh!” Aziraphale started to sob and couldn’t control it. Crowley was awake and alive and he was Crowley through and through, “I’m sorry Crowley. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>    “Shh angel,” Crowley said, “Accident. Should have stayed. My fault too.” </p>
<p>    “I...I almost killed you.” </p>
<p>    “I know, you didn’t though. Mmm here.” </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry Crowley.” </p>
<p>    “I forgive you angel,” Crowley said, “I’ll be okay. Just need rest.” </p>
<p>    “I’ll be here for you the whole way Crowley,” Aziraphale said. It was so good to have Crowley awake and have Crowley forgive him which he didn’t expect at all he expected Crowley to curse at him and yell and go away and never come back. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale a favor?”</p>
<p>    “Anything.” </p>
<p>    “No more Wilde please,” Crowley said with a groan. Aziraphale gave a nervous little chuckle at that. He was so relieved and would do anything to help Crowley. He pushed aside Wilde and got another book. </p>
<p>    “Is there anything else I can do before I start reading,” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    “Mmm good.” </p>
<p>    “Right then,” Aziraphale said, sighing in relief. Crowley was going to live.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Extreme Weather</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's almost time for Crawley to stow himself aboard the Ark, but he runs into a family of humans that the floodwaters haven't reached yet. (Warning in this one for children dying, not graphic, just happens)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crawley wasn’t sure about how he felt about rain. Being wet wasn’t bad but it often made one cold and that wasn’t fun. But it was easy to get used to and the first thousand years on Earth rain just became one of the things that the world did. </p>
<p>    Then the Great Flood started. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale had told him what was going to happen, that the Almighty was going to drown all of the local humans aside from one family group. Crawley couldn’t believe it; he thought the humans were the Almighty’s favorite, that She loved them and now She was going to destroy a good number of them. </p>
<p>    They had made her angry. It gave Crawley the shivers, he knew what the wrath of the Almighty could be like. </p>
<p>    The rain started just as he and Aziraphale wrapped up their conversation. It didn’t give Crawley a lot of time to figure out what he was going to do. He couldn’t stop the whole thing and there were some souls that would go to Hell so down below was probably into this whole thing too or at least the aftermath of it. </p>
<p>    Humans died and it shouldn’t really bother him, a demon. But it did especially in regards to all the children who were going to die. </p>
<p>    So he came up with a plan. The ark was big enough to hide a few children in. Crawley couldn’t bring all the children but he was going to bring some. Downright demonic it was. If the Almighty wanted the children dead and he defied that then he defied God and anyone down below would see it that way too. He hoped.</p>
<p>    Crawley found thirteen children, mostly orphans on the streets, to stow away in the ark, hiding them behind a false wall, asleep until the water receded. </p>
<p>    The rain went on and on and on and the water rose and people in low lying areas started to drown or tried to get to higher land. They were so scared and confused and they prayed and they cursed and they started to die. </p>
<p>    Most of the humans were gone now and the ark was starting to float in the distance. Crawley was perched on a high peak looking out over what had been a land full of humans. If he looked hard enough he could see dead humans floating in the water. He tried not to look too hard. </p>
<p>    Crawley should probably just go hide away on the ark and stop looking at what was just upsetting him. He held his wings over his head to try to keep dry as the deluge continued. He just...he both wanted to see Aziraphale and didn’t want to see him. </p>
<p>    He wasn’t in the mood for a righteous speech from the angel and if he ran into Aziraphale he was sure to get one. Crawley sighed as he put his wings away and walked down from his perch into a small valley that hadn’t been flooded yet. It was miserable, but everything was at the moment wasn’t it?</p>
<p>    Thunder boomed overhead as Crawley walked through the empty valley. Almost empty. He noticed a house in the distance, a lighted lamp visible. There was someone alive in the valley. For the moment. </p>
<p>    Crawley watched the house for a while before turning to go away. </p>
<p>    “Hey!” </p>
<p>    He looked back and saw a man waving him over. Crawley knew he should leave but the house did look warm and he didn’t want to get on the Ark just yet. He walked toward the house.</p>
<p>    “Please, come in,” the Man said, “You are welcome here.” </p>
<p>    The Man ushered him in and Crawley blinked as his eyes got used to the light inside. There were two or three families crammed into the small house; three middle aged men and their wives and a handful of children. Thirteen kids in total. </p>
<p>    Crawley froze. </p>
<p>    “Please do come in. You are safe here and welcome.” </p>
<p>    “Thank you,” Crawley said and sat near the door. One of the women went back to telling a story to keep the children entertained. The other two women were making food. The men were listening and playing with the children. </p>
<p>    Crawley didn’t understand why these people who looked good and loving had to drown. They didn’t look evil. </p>
<p>    Crawley ate with the family and helped entertain the children. The women had a harder time putting the children to bed. Crawley could see the anxiety especially in the older children who might be guessing something was wrong.</p>
<p>    Not long after the children were sleeping all the adults sat in the living space. </p>
<p>    “We have questions stranger. I saw you on the hill,” the Man said. </p>
<p>    “Ah…” </p>
<p>    “I don’t know what you are, but, can you tell us...are the floodwaters going to reach us?” the Man asked. </p>
<p>    Crawley sighed, “Yes.” </p>
<p>    One of the women gasped, another looked back at the sleeping children. Crawley’s heart ached at the sight. </p>
<p>    “I…” Crawley started.</p>
<p>    “We know you cannot stop this or do much but...the children are scared. Is there anything you can do for the children?”</p>
<p>    Crawley thought about his little cubby on the ark, already full of children and the more he brought the more likely it would be that he would be caught and stopped. And these children would remember the parents they lost. </p>
<p>    “Please, oh angel, I don’t want my babies to suffer,” one of the women said. </p>
<p>    With his wings out earlier it wasn’t surprising they thought he was an angel and well they were somewhat right. He looked at the sleeping children and knew in his heart he would never be able to kill them. It would be simple, of course, to just stop their hearts and be done with it but he couldn’t. And the parents. It would kill him to hear the parents wail over the bodies of the children. </p>
<p>    “I...what I can do is this,” Crawley said, “I can bless them with sleep. They will know no fear or pain and will not wake even as the water comes.” </p>
<p>    “Yes, oh please,” the woman said, looking at the others who were all nodding. Crawley approached the sleeping children and placed his hand on each little forehead and blessed them with sleep they would not wake from. </p>
<p>    “It is done. I can, I can do the same for you if you wish,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “I do not want to sleep, but if I know it won’t hurt…” the Man said. </p>
<p>    “Yes I can do that,” Crawley said and let the group talk a bit before all of them decided to go with the blessing of no pain. Crawley did it adding in a calmness in with the blessing. </p>
<p>    “Will you stay, Angel?” </p>
<p>    “I will,” he said. He didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to but him being there seemed to be having a good effect on the humans and they were about to die so he would stay. </p>
<p>    It didn’t take long for the water to come. Some rocks broke away and the water came rushing in the valley. If Crawley wasn’t there it would have smashed the house and the humans would have died in a tumbling mess. Crawley made the rocks surround the house so that it stayed intact and started to fill with water. </p>
<p>    The families were all huddled together in three groups; the mothers and fathers cradling their blissfully sleeping children. The water filled the house quickly and one by one all nineteen humans in the house drowned. Crawley waited until all of them were gone before he swam out of the surface and shot up out of the water and started to fly. </p>
<p>    “How could you do this to your own creations!” Crawley yelled at the sky, “I hope this is hurting you too!” </p>
<p>    Crawley made his way to the only place he could; the ark. He found it and landed and snuck his way to where the children were hidden. He went into the little cubby and he cried. </p>
<p>    The Ark was a large and crowded structure but he knew inevitably Aziraphale would find him. It happened a week after Crawley arrived on the Ark. </p>
<p>    “Crawley.” </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale,” he said back. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stared at him, “I found your little...stash.” </p>
<p>    “Did you do anything,” Crawley took a step closer to Aziraphale who didn’t back down. </p>
<p>    “No, but I should. You can’t stow away children that aren’t supposed to be here.” </p>
<p>    “And what do you want me to do?” </p>
<p>    “Get them off the Ark.” </p>
<p>    “You want me to kill them. If they aren’t on the ark they will die.” </p>
<p>    “Well they can’t be here Crawley it’s not the plan,” Aziraphale said. He was twisting his hand and his voice was wavering. </p>
<p>    “They are staying. I’m not throwing living human children off the Ark Aziraphale and if you try it you’ll have to smite me to do it,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “I….oh…but they…” </p>
<p>    “Do you know I just saw Aziraphale! What I had to do! I watched nineteen humans drown, I put children in a deep sleep so they didn’t have to suffer drawing water into their lungs. They were scared and they invited me in and gave me food and they drowned in front of me!” </p>
<p>    Crawley was shaking so hard he had to sit down and he drew in a breath and let it out as a choked sob, “They’re living beings Aziraphale. I can’t…” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stood mouth open in shock, hands twisting about his robes. Crawley knew he should get up and get ready to fight in case Aziraphale tried to take the children but he was spent. </p>
<p>    A moment later Aziraphale sat beside him, “I won’t stop you, but do you even know what you are doing with thirteen children?”</p>
<p>    “No. But I’ll figure it out. Can’t kill them. So many are gone. Hope She’s happy.”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale sighed, “I don’t...know what the Almighty has planned. I...I assume it’s hard on Her to do these things.” </p>
<p>    Crawley took a better look at Aziraphale and knew the Angel was upset with the whole situation too though he was being much less vocal about it. </p>
<p>    “You should have a plan before the water recedes,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I’ll think of something,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “I know you will, wily serpent.” </p>
<p>    Crawley sighed. He would have to figure something out about the kids and he would do something. Make something good out of something horrible. Like after he Fell. </p>
<p>    “I...I don’t like it when She’s angry,” Crawley said quietly. </p>
<p>    “Neither do I,” Aziraphale said. After a moment he reached over and took Crawley’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Crawley let out another small sob and squeezed back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Hunting Season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale is stressed out about finding a miracle for Patrick to do, Crowley has an idea. I doesn't quite work as expected.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley was pleasantly drunk and sank back as far as he could in the chair without falling over or slipping out. Across the table from him Aziraphale also looked like he was getting quite drunk. Good. The Angel had been looking worried and fretting all evening long. Aziraphale was on an important mission concerning a missionary named Patrick who needed to perform good deeds. Was supposed to be very important in the future of the church and Ireland. </p>
<p>Crowley wasn’t sure about all that but he hated to see Aziraphale worry and fret like that about a mission. Apparently one good deed wasn’t quite enough and Aziraphale was having trouble thinking of a second. </p>
<p>Crowley liked Ireland fairly well so far he hadn’t been there in quite some time. He wasn’t on a mission and he tried to keep his mind open for inspiration to give Aziraphale an idea. He was starting to feel sleepy and thought it would be easier to curl up by the fire if he…</p>
<p>“Snakes!” </p>
<p>Aziraphale jerked and almost knocked his tankard over, frowning over at Crowley.</p>
<p>“What about snakes?” </p>
<p>“Have your man...make snakes go away.” </p>
<p>Aziraphale frowned, “I don’t see...there aren’t any snakes in Ireland anyway dear.” </p>
<p>“I can take care of that,” Crowley smirked, “And...and...snakes are evil yeah? Serpent of Eden an all.” </p>
<p>“That’s you my dear.”</p>
<p>“I know so...yeah...snakes. Drive them out.” </p>
<p>They were quiet for some time and Crowley was already planning on what he was going to do. Go to the church where Patrick was and fill the place with snakes, or somewhere nearby the church and then all he had to do was drive them out. Easy.  </p>
<p>“Well. Do you really think it’ll work?”</p>
<p>“Of course it’ll work!” Crowley said trying to sound offended and mostly sounding drunk. </p>
<p>“I suppose if you think it’ll work it’s worth a try,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“Yes! Thsss’ll be fun.” </p>
<p>Crowley was glad that he could help Aziraphale and have fun at the same time and it was going to be so much fun. He almost wanted to get started at that very moment but that would mean sobering up and he didn’t want to do that. He could start in the morning. </p>
<p>By the time morning came he had almost forgotten what he had planned to do but it all came back in a flash when he saw Aziraphale. </p>
<p>“I do hope this works, I have an idea of a location, an abandoned house that is said to be evil. Snakes manifesting there would about do it.” </p>
<p>“Sounds good to me, lead the way angel.” </p>
<p>The house was an old stonework manor and the land was barren and did appear rather strange though there was no sign of it being evil. It would do though if the humans thought it was evil then that would work. </p>
<p>Crowley snapped and the whole area was filled with snakes. In a matter of minutes all of the snakes had crawled in the dark of the manor and seemed content just to be there. </p>
<p>“Uh. Well. I mean it’s not that impressive though is it? Can’t you tell them to be more menacing?” </p>
<p>“Tell them?” </p>
<p>“Well you are at least somewhat a snake aren’t you? Can’t you speak to them?” </p>
<p>“Just because I am a snake doesn't mean I can speak to them!” </p>
<p>“Well I just thought...would it be easier if you were a snake? Could you lead them into some sort of frenzy? Head toward the church and then draw them back here?”</p>
<p>Crowley sighed. He could probably do that and he had to admit it wasn’t quite as impressive as he wanted the whole thing to be. He supposed it would hurt to become a snake for a little while to draw people back and then have the whole driving out business happen. </p>
<p>“Right, alright I’ll be a snake. Head back to the village and I’ll lead them toward the church shortly.” </p>
<p>“Oh thank you Crowley. Really.” </p>
<p>“Don’t thank me,” Crowley mumbled but he felt good about it anyway. He waited until Aziraphale was gone before he turned into a snake and slithered in with the others. It took a while to get the right message across but the snakes began to follow him. He was larger than the rest of the snakes to draw attention to how strange it all was. </p>
<p>They slithered into town in the middle of the day and headed to the church. People were screaming and pointing and running away. Good, this was all going well. As people started to come from the church Crowley turned them all around and went back to the house. </p>
<p>He congratulated the rest of the snakes and was about to turn back to a human and miracle them all back home when the townspeople and Patrick arrived with Aziraphale hanging back. </p>
<p>The snakes cowered and then...fire, they were using fire. Suddenly everything was burning and it was...was…</p>
<p>In a split second Crowley tried to turn back into his human body and when it didn’t work…</p>
<p>The Snake broke out of the house and slithered into the forest. It didn’t like fire and had to get away. Some of its children followed and the Snake didn’t mind. It just wanted to get away from the fire and the creatures. </p>
<p>The Snake didn’t know where it was going but luck was with it and there was a cave not far away that made a wonderful spot to hide and rest. The children piled in. The fire creatures did not follow. </p>
<p>Everyone was getting hungry. The children went out to hunt and came back with rats and bugs and some did not come back. </p>
<p>Rats and bugs would not do for the Snake. It needed something bigger. It left the cave to hunt. The goal was to avoid the fire creatures but surely there would be other things to eat. The Snake slithered and sniffed and it smelled food. Good sized creatures with fluffy white fur all grouped together. </p>
<p>Yes. That was good food for the Snake. It grabbed one of the fluffy creatures and wrapped itself around until the creature's heart stopped and then it fed and was able to make it back to the cave before sleep. </p>
<p>Night was the best time to hunt. In the day time the fire creatures were out and they would come back and kill the Snake and the children. Still every night fewer and fewer children came back. </p>
<p>Caught by the fire creatures. The Snake was mad. It went out in the day and watched the fire creatures. They had a habit of gathering in one building and the Snake went toward it. But the building burnt the Snake and it slithered back to the cave faster than the fire creatures could follow. </p>
<p>But...there were bushes to hide in the fire creature homes and the Snake hid and it jumped out and tried to catch the fire creatures to punish them for what they were doing to the children. By day The Snake tormented the fire creatures by day and ate the white creatures by night. </p>
<p>Still the children disappeared and the Snake was angry. One day no children came back at all. The Snake wanted to eat all the fire creatures and went to the village to do so. </p>
<p>The fire creatures were ready though and tried to drop cages and nets on him and the Snake snapped and bit and tried to take down the fire creatures but they brought weapons and one hit the Snake and he slithered away back to the cave. This time they followed the Snake and two came into the cave with fire to finish him. The one in white the one that looked like food was speaking to the Snake. But the words of the fire creatures didn’t make any sense to the Snake. </p>
<p>The Snake lunged at the white creature and started wrapping him in it’s coils. The white fire creatures dropped the weapon and the Snake tightened it’s coils. Beneath them a few of the creature's ribs snapped and the heart was beating fast and panicky. </p>
<p>“Crowley!” </p>
<p>The Snake paused, there was something about the sound the white fire creature was making something familiar. </p>
<p>“Crowley please!” </p>
<p>The Snake loosened the coils a little and then there was a bright flash of pain and Crowley...Crowley was in snake form and he was back and then suddenly he was human again falling back on the floor of the cave with a cry. </p>
<p>Crowley tried to make sense of what was happening. He oh he’d been stuck as a snake hadn’t he? And Aziraphale…</p>
<p>Crowley tried to sit up; pain lancing down his chest and he looked down. Oh, the sword. Patrick had a sword and had slashed at Snake-Crowley. Aziraphale was speaking, that was good and then he was kneeling at Crowley’s side. </p>
<p>“A...oh fuck, are you alright?” </p>
<p>Aziraphale huffed, “You broke three of my ribs, but I’ll live. It’s you I’m worried about.” </p>
<p>Crowley looked down at the wound, “Ngk. Oh.” There was a gash from his right shoulder down to his left hip a deep wound bleeding heavily and revealing more of what was inside his body than Crowley wished to see. </p>
<p>“Crowley…” </p>
<p>“Mmm I discorporating?” </p>
<p>“I think so dear.” </p>
<p>“Sssss sorry. Mmm...ugh,” Crowley shut his eyes tight and whimpered slightly, “I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>“Well it did work and you didn’t kill anyone. Though you certainly ate a lot of sheep.” </p>
<p>“Not...mad at me?” Crowley asked. </p>
<p>“I think I rather should be but no I’m not,” Aziraphale said. And it didn’t look like Aziraphale was mad and that made Crowley feel a little better. He groaned as his corporation continued to bleed and die. </p>
<p>“Oh shit,” Crowley cursed, “Ugh. An...Angel?” </p>
<p>“I’m here Crowley,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>“See you...when I get...ba...back.” </p>
<p>“I’ll see you then Crowely,” Aziraphale said. Everything went dark around Crowley and he felt his essence leave the corporation. </p>
<p>In the end it did turn out alright. Aziraphale got Patrick to where he needed to be and Hell thought Crowley had tried to stop it on purpose instead of helping Aziraphale. And when Crowley made his way back up to earth and walked into a pub the Angel smiled to see him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. I think I need a doctor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aziraphale's day goes from being on a date with Crowley, to hoping that Crowley survives. Another human AU.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale finished the last of the grapes and looked up at Crowley sitting across from him on the picnic blanket. Crowley had barely touched his own food and Aziraphale frowned. It wasn’t the first strange thing of the day. Crowley had actually driven under the speed limit for most of the way to the park, he had been awfully quiet all morning long, and he had been fidgeting all morning. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was just about to ask what the matter was when Crowley swallowed hard and turned to look at Aziraphale. He couldn’t help but start messing with his coat nervous that Crowley was about to say something...bad. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    “What is it Crowley?”</p>
<p>    “I...sorry I’m nervous, just don’t interrupt or I might lose my nerve.” </p>
<p>    “I can do that,” Aziraphale said, his throat going dry and heart speeding up in his chest. </p>
<p>    “I know we’ve both agreed to take it slow and this...this has been the best relationship in my entire life and I don’t want to ruin it by going too fast but…” Crowley reached into his coat pocket drawing out a small box, “Will you marry me Aziraphale?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale gasped. This was not what he had been expecting at all and though they had been going slow at his own request it also felt so very right. </p>
<p>    Crowley swallowed hard, “Ngk, I mean we don’t...have to get married right away, or live together, we can still go slow. I just...wanted to show you how committed I am.” Crowley finished softly and turned his face downward a blush spreading quickly across his pale cheeks. Aziraphale realized he had frozen and what Crowley might think. </p>
<p>    “Oh Crowley yes. Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you,” Aziraphale said reaching for Crowley and drawing him into a kiss. It was Crowley’s turn to freeze for just a moment before he joined in the kissing. </p>
<p>    When they pulled apart Crowley chuckled, “That was terrifying.” </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry dear. I just wasn’t expecting that you did a good job catching me by surprise,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley put the ring, a gold ring with angel wings, on his finger and showed Aziraphale his own ring. </p>
<p>    “I meant what I said, we don’t have to rush an actual wedding, or moving in together or any of that,” Crowley said, “I want you to be comfortable.” </p>
<p>    “It is a lot to consider and think about,” Aziraphale said, “But this...committing ourselves to each other like this feels so very right. I may like going slow but...I know for certain that I want to be with you.” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled, a smile that reached his eyes and seemed to shine as bright as the stars, “I love you Angel.” </p>
<p>    “I love you too dear. Now…” Aziraphale jumped as he heard a scream coming from somewhere close in the park. It sounded like a young woman. Aziraphale frowned as he looked to Crowley. </p>
<p>    “That sounded…” </p>
<p>    The woman screamed again and they both jumped to their feet. It sounded like a young woman, and one in trouble. Going down the path toward the scream there was a single sneaker lying on the side and some crumpled underbrush.</p>
<p>    Crowley charged into the underbrush with Aziraphale close behind him.</p>
<p>    “Hey! Get off her!” Crowley shouted and Aziraphale froze for a moment as everything caught up with him as to how dangerous this situation was. </p>
<p>    It was happening so fast, there was a scuffle and another cry from the woman. A few moments later the attacker crashed beside Aziraphale running for the path and probably out of the park and then…</p>
<p>    “Oh,” Aziraphale coughed as the smell of the pepper spray hit him. Crowley didn’t have any and he doubted the attacker would so it must have been sprayed by the girl. Aziraphale found them both coughing and moving toward him. Aziraphale got on the girl’s other side and they led her back to the main path.</p>
<p>    “Are you alright dear?” Aziraphale asked the woman. She was young, glasses askew and sticks matted in her hair, but looking her over quickly it didn’t look like the man had achieved his goal. </p>
<p>    “I think....I think so…” she said, “He didn’t...just pinned me…” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale patted his pocket for his phone and didn’t have it he looked over at…</p>
<p>    “Crowley?” </p>
<p>    Crowley was sitting on the path, hunched over and coughing and wheezing. Aziraphale left the girls side and knelt before Crowley. Crowley looked up eyes watering, wheezing getting worse with every breath. </p>
<p>    “Can’t...breathe…” </p>
<p>    “Hold on love, is your inhaler in the car?”</p>
<p>    Crowley shook his head, “Home.” Aziraphale reached into Crowley’s pocket to check for sure and found his phone. </p>
<p>    “Help’s on the way,” The girl said. Aziraphale hadn’t noticed her pull out her phone but she was talking to the emergency services so that was taken care of. </p>
<p>    “Just hold on Crowley, help is coming,” Aziraphale said and Crowley gave a small nod. Aziraphale took his hand. </p>
<p>    They had been dating for three years and a little bit and Aziraphale had only seen Crowley use an inhaler maybe twice in that time and had only vaguely mentioned having asthma at all. But something in the pepper spray was triggering an attack. A bad one. </p>
<p>    Crowley was coughing and wheezing and grunting shoulders hunched every muscle seeming to pull tight in the effort for Crowley to breathe. And it wasn’t working. He was beyond pale, lips tinged blue, sweating and trembling slightly. The hand that wasn’t in Aziraphale’s was balled into a fist over the center of Crowley’s chest. It had to hurt. </p>
<p>    “I know it hurts, but help is on the way. I’m here for you,” Aziraphale said, not sure if it was doing any good but not knowing what else he could do. </p>
<p>    Crowley looked up eyes glassy and distant, “Angel...love you…” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale let out a choked sob, “I love you. I love you so much Crowley.” Aziraphale kissed him lightly on the forehead. Aziraphale didn’t know what to do, there was nothing he could do and he was watching Crowley suffer and...and it could...he could…</p>
<p>    “Crowley…” </p>
<p>    All planned words and thoughts were driven from Aziraphale’s mind as Crowley suddenly slumped forward. </p>
<p>    “No…” Aziraphale froze. This wasn’t happening. It was a bad dream and this wasn’t real, couldn’t be. But it was. Aziraphale laid Crowley on his back looking for any sign that the love of his life was still breathing. Nothing. With shaking hands he checked for a pulse and let out a sob when he couldn’t find one. </p>
<p>    “No, no Crowley please…” </p>
<p>    But through the terror and horror and disbelief it struck Aziraphale that there was now something he could do. It had been more than a decade since he had taken a first aid and CPR class but the basics were still there and he had to try to save Crowley. </p>
<p>    His hands were still shaky as he positioned them on Crowley’s chest and began compressions. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale didn’t know how much time passed before the ambulance got there and took over working on reviving Crowley. He tried his best to give details to the medics as they loaded Crowley in. </p>
<p>    Anathema, the girl they had rescued, offered Aziraphale a ride to the hospital and he accepted running back to the picnic site to get a few things and then get in the car. </p>
<p>    Once at the hospital the waiting began. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale hoped that time passing was a positive thing; that if they hadn’t come out to get him yet that meant Crowley was still fighting to stay alive, that the doctors hadn’t given up on him yet. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sat and he waited and he prayed. He prayed that Crowley would recover fully. Aziraphale knew it all depended on how long Crowley’s brain had been without oxygen. That he could have brain damage and that it might be permanent. The image of Crowley slumping forward entered his mind again and Aziraphale wondered if the asthma attack caused Crowley to have a heart attack or maybe a stroke. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale made a promise to himself, to God, to Crowley that no matter what he would be at Crowley’s side. No matter the outcome, no matter how long or how through the recovery process he would not abandon Crowley. He was going to spend the rest of his life with Crowley. </p>
<p>    He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when a doctor came into the waiting room. </p>
<p>    “Mr. Fell?” </p>
<p>    “Yes?” </p>
<p>    “I’m Doctor Michaels. I’ll cut to the chase. We were able to revive Mr. Crowley, we’ve got him on a ventilator to make sure he’s getting enough oxygen and we’re in the process of running tests.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale let out a sigh and sob at the same time, “Is he...do you know anything for certain yet? Did he have a heart attack? Stroke?”</p>
<p>    “There doesn’t appear to be any heart damage. It looks like the lack of oxygen caused an irregular heart rhythm, we were able to restore regular heart rhythm quickly. His lungs are still recovering from the asthma attack but there isn’t likely to be damage. Now as for the possibility of brain injury,” Michaels paused and Aziraphale steeled himself for bad news, “We’re still running tests. There is a possibility of damage but I am cautiously optimistic that it will be minor.” </p>
<p>    “Good, oh thank God. I hope you are right doctor. When can I see him?”</p>
<p>    “He’s in imaging right now, when he gets back to the ICU from that I’ll have a nurse come get you,” Doctor Michaels said. </p>
<p>    “Thank you.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his chest. Crowley was alive, he was stable, and the doctor was hopeful. There were still likely going to be some issues but...Crowley was alive!</p>
<p>    Aziraphale was able to break from his stupor and find his way to the cafeteria for some tea before wandering back to the waiting room. It wasn’t long before a nurse came out and escorted him to Crowley’s room. </p>
<p>    The nurse, Tracy, stopped just outside the room, “He’s still under sedation, there’s a lot of wires and tubes and I know it might look scary but ask my anything.” </p>
<p>    “Can I touch him? Hold his hand?” Aziraphale asked. </p>
<p>    Tracy smiled, “Yes, of course.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale had a picture in his mind of what he was walking into. He’d had loved ones in the hospital before but it was still a hard punch to his heart seeing Crowley in that position. He stopped and gasped emotions welling up and spilling out in tears. Crowley looked so fragile, lying still connected to monitors and bags of medication and with the tube down his throat.</p>
<p>    Aziraphale was shaking as he approached, “Oh Crowley. I’m here love.” He took Crowley’s hand. Aziraphale gazed at the monitors and the numbers looked stable, the lines moving showing that Crowley’s heart was indeed beating in rhythm again. Aziraphale put his other hand on Crowley’s thin chest to feel it himself. </p>
<p>    It was then that he noticed the bruising on Crowley’s chest and he winced in sympathy. </p>
<p>    “Bruising is common with CPR,” Tracy said as she scribbled down some of the numbers, “I know it looks bad, but they will fade.” </p>
<p>    “I might have done some of the damage,” Aziraphale said.</p>
<p>    “No love, you helped save your fiance’s life. You kept your head on in a tough situation,” Tracy said. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale nodded and turned his attention back to Crowley.</p>
<p>    Doctor Michaels came in a while later. Preliminary tests were all good; no brain swelling, electrical brain activity looked normal, there was no sign of kidney or liver damage. Crowley was in stable condition. </p>
<p>    “We’ll still need to wait until he wakes up to know more, we’ll probably start backing off the sedatives tomorrow morning and seeing how that goes.” </p>
<p>    “That’s a good thing yes?”</p>
<p>    “Very good. He’s progressing well.” </p>
<p>    Crowley remained stable as the evening progressed and Aziraphale made the decision to go home for a little bit. </p>
<p>    “I’ll be back in the  morning love, you just rest and recover. I love you Crowley,” he kissed Crowley and squeezed his hand before letting Tracy know he was leaving for the evening. Aziraphale took care of getting the Bentlyy back, got things ready to go in the morning so he could stay at the hospital for some time. </p>
<p>    He called and left a message for Warlock telling him the Florist shop would likely be closed for some time and he would keep the young man posted on his bosses condition. When that was all over Aziraphale collapsed on his bed and fell asleep. </p>
<p>    ***</p>
<p>    Aziraphale was at the hospital as early as he could get there and was pleased to find that all was going well, or at least as well as it could in the situation. Crowley had been stable the entire night, the drugs in his system hadn’t caused any problems either. </p>
<p>    The plan for the day was to back off on the sedation and see how that went and if it went well they were going to start with getting Crowley off the ventilator. They were at the point that any issues due to lack of oxygen were only going to be noticable when Crowley was awake. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale was allowed to stay as they started bringing Crowley off sedation Doctor Michaels said she found that it helped keep a patient calm if someone they knew was around during the process. </p>
<p>    Crowley started to stir and Aziraphale was hit with nerves hoping that it all went well. </p>
<p>    “Crowley? Can you open your eyes?” Doctor Michaels asked. Crowley gave a little groan and frowned. </p>
<p>    “You’re alright, Aziraphale is here,” Michaels said.</p>
<p>    “I’m here Crowley,” Aziraphale added. </p>
<p>    Crowley’s eyes fluttered and he blinked them open after a moment. His gaze was unfocused and it didn’t seem like he was truly awake. He closed his eyes again and opened them but still nothing. Doctor Michaels had warned Aziraphale that this might happen, that it might take a bit for Crowley to fully wake up. Aziraphale couldn’t help but think of his old computer at the bookshop; when the power would go out it took forever to boot back up; he imagined Crowley’s brain was attempting a similar feat. </p>
<p>    Still, Aziraphale’s heart was pounding worried that this was it; that Crowley wouldn’t wake up and that there was too much damage after all. </p>
<p>    After some time Crowley gave a little jerk like he was trying to breathe on his own, he blinked quickly and gave a little groan.</p>
<p>    “Crowley? I’m here love. You’re safe, you’re in the hospital.” </p>
<p>    Crowley looked toward Aziraphale and after a moment he was able to focus and a look of recognition lit on his face.</p>
<p>    “There you are love,” Aziraphale said with a smile as recognition spread across Crowley’s face. Crowley blinked again shifting slighting to look around before looking at Aziraphale again frowning his left eyebrow arching up high in a look that was so essentially Crowley that it made Aziraphale ecstatic to see. </p>
<p>    “You had a bad asthma attack, you’re in the hospital.” </p>
<p>    Crowley looked like he understood and squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. </p>
<p>    “Hi Crowley, I’m Doctor Michaels.” </p>
<p>    Crowley changed focus to the doctor.</p>
<p>    “I know the tube in your throat is uncomfortable we’ll get to work making sure we can take it out safely, are you in any pain?”</p>
<p>    Crowley moved his hand over his chest where the bruising was still visible, then moved it to touch his head. </p>
<p>    “What would you rate the pain as, scale from one to ten, ten being the worst pain you’ve ever had.” </p>
<p>    Crowley held up four fingers and Aziraphale felt some tension leave his shoulders; he was afraid Crowley was hurting worse. It also looked like Crowley was having no trouble understanding the doctor and responding.</p>
<p>    “Is the pain in your head sharp or fuzzy.” Crowley held up two fingers. “Fuzzy then, that’s partly due to the medications you’re on it’ll get better as they get out of your system.  You’re doing very well Crowley, can you give your toes a wiggle? Good, now raise your arms up like this, keep them there, and good.”</p>
<p>    Crowley raised his eyebrow again and Aziraphale could imagine the litany of questions that Crowley wanted to ask. Even without words Doctor Michaels seemed to catch the basic question. </p>
<p>    “I know it’s a bit strange, but I’m assessing to see if we can try to get your breathing tube out and I think we can. I’m going to send our respiratory therapist in to do a test run and we’ll move on from there. It’s alright if you go in and out of sleep, you’re still recovering. Is there anything else?” </p>
<p>    Crowley shook his head. Once the Doctor was gone Crowley closed his eyes and appeared to be back to sleep. Aziraphale let out a shaky sob, tears slipping down his cheeks. He startled as Crowley's hand came up and wiped at the tears.</p>
<p>    “I’m sorry dear,” Aziraphale said, “I’m just so glad to see you awake. I was so scared.” Crowley reached for Aziraphale’s hand and pulled him in closer. Aziraphale kissed his cheek holding Crowley as best he could with all the medical equipment there. </p>
<p>    They stayed that way until Crowley fell asleep again and not long after that the RT came in, and was able to wake Crowley again. She explained the test that they were going to stop the ventilator for an hour or so, that the machine would turn back on if Crowley was struggling, and that if all went well they could move on to getting the tube out. </p>
<p>    “I know it’s going to be weird breathing with the tube in, but just do your best. If it’s too much or you feel wrong in any way give me a thumbs down and we can turn it back on alright?”</p>
<p>    To that Crowley gave a thumbs up; Aziraphale could tell he was nervous and Aziraphale didn’t blame him. He didn’t think it would be easy breathing with the tube in.</p>
<p>    “Ready Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, “I’ll be here with you, you’re safe and they’ll be able to help if you get in trouble.” Crowley nodded. The machine turned off. </p>
<p>    The first few breaths were a struggle, Crowley trying to get used to the oddity of it; he was holding Aziraphale’s hand tight. </p>
<p>    “You’re doing great Crowley, I’m here, you’re safe,” Aziraphale said. At first Crowley’s heart rate had spiked, his oxygen levels fell, and he was breathing quickly, but after a few minutes he seemed to get used to the tube and used to breathing on his own and his vitals stabilized again. He coughed a few times wincing every time but he never looked close to calling the test quits and Aziraphale was glad. </p>
<p>    “I’m so proud of you Crowley,” Aziraphale said, “You are being so brave.” Crowley blushed and squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. </p>
<p>    When the test was over the RT made notes for a few minutes as the ventilator kicked back in. Crowley was frowning and looked annoyed at it. </p>
<p>    “You did wonderful, I’m going to recommend taking the tube out, if you think you’re up to it?”</p>
<p>    Crowley lifted both arms into thumbs up then brought his palms together as if he were praying. The RT laughed.</p>
<p>    “I’ll get the order to Doctor Michaels then,” she said. Aziraphale thanked her and she left. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale could tell that Crowley was a little nervous about the extubation procedure, but the fact that he was strong enough to have it come out made Aziraphale happy. He reached out and squeezed Crowley’s hand.</p>
<p>    The nurse from the first day, Tracy, came in a few minutes later smiling at both of them, “Oh I’m so glad you’re doing well love, I was here when you first came in. Now the RT and Doctor Michaels will be back in soon. I’m going to give you a steroid to help with swelling happens most of the time. You’ll probably have a scratchy throat for a few days. Might have a bit of trouble swallowing at first.” Tracy went about gathering supplies and placing them at the ready for the procedure. Crowley watched with interest in what she was gathering. Aziraphale noticed her setting up the little oxygen things that went in the nose, he didn’t know what they were called, and there was an inhaler and a nebulizer as well as what looked like a suctioning tube of some sort. </p>
<p>    There was also what looked like a kit for intubation. Crowley frowned and squeezed Aziraphale’s hand. </p>
<p>    “Crowley’s wondering about that kit,” Aziraphale said, “We both are actually.” </p>
<p>    “It’s for if we have to reintubate, if Crowley has trouble breathing again. Now I personally don’t think that’s going to happen but we want to be prepared in case we need to act. Better to be prepared love.”</p>
<p>    When Doctor Michaels came in she gave Crowley a quick exam, had him do a few experimental coughs, and explained how the extubation worked. That they would have to suction maybe a few times as there was going to be gunk to get out and that they would keep him on oxygen. She lifted the bed into the correct position with Crowley sitting up.</p>
<p>    “Looks like we’re ready to go,” Michaels said, “Ready Crowley.” Crowley nodded but Aziraphale could tell he was nervous. He gave Crowley’s hand a squeeze and kissed him on the cheek before he had to move away so they could take care of Crowley. </p>
<p>    “Alright, all unhooked now take a deep breath and when you exhale we’ll pull the tube out.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale heard Crowley begin to cough and sputter and struggle. He began to worry things were going wrong and he nervously peaked around the medical personnel. </p>
<p>    “You’re doing just fine Crowley,” Tracy said, “Just keep taking deep breaths and cough all that gunk out.” </p>
<p>    The coughing calmed down, and there weren’t any alarms going off that had to mean that things were going alright. Aziraphale peaked around and caught Tracy’s gaze and she ushered him over. </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled the instant he saw Aziraphale and reached for him. Aziraphale gave him a hug and a kiss and kept hold of his hand when he pulled back. </p>
<p>    “Well done love,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Angel…” Crowley groaned and coughed. He brought his hand up to his throat and swallowed with a wince.</p>
<p>    “Does it hurt love?” Tracy asked.</p>
<p>    “A bit,” Crowley whispered hoarsely, “scratchy, weird.” </p>
<p>    “We’ll give it a chance to calm down a little,” Tracy said, “We’ll get you so ice chips if Doctor Michaels thinks it’s alright?”</p>
<p>    “Can you give me a good swallow again Crowley? Good. I think some ice chips would be fine, just take it slowly. Tracy will be in and out and you’re being well monitored. A scratchy throat is normal but if it gets any worse if anything starts to hurt or be difficult call us in. Just rest and take it easy. Now I have to pull Aziraphale away for a moment for some paperwork, he’ll be right back.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale followed Michaels into the hall where she produced a folder of annoying looking paperwork. </p>
<p>    “Take your time with these. Also now is the time we might see some complications as he returns to normal. There will probably be memory issues so don't try to press him too hard. If you notice anything else, any tics or difficulties make a note of it,” Michaels said. </p>
<p>    “I will,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    When he walked back in Tracy was helping Crowley eat some ice chips watching to make sure he was able to swallow without choking. </p>
<p>    “Feel better?”</p>
<p>    “Yes,” Crowley said, his voice already a little stronger, “I’m tired, why?”</p>
<p>    “You’re still recovering, if you’re tired you should take a nap. Aziraphale is back and he’ll make sure you’re alright.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale sat beside the bed setting the folder of paperwork down before reaching for Crowley’s hand. </p>
<p>    “I don’t remember what happened,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “We’ll work on that when you’re a little better,” Aziraphale said. Crowley frowned for a moment but then settled down too tired to dive into questioning about that at the moment. </p>
<p>    “How’s the car? The shop? Warlock? You?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale laughed and Crowley smiled. It was so good to see him getting back to normal, able to talk and joke as he always had. </p>
<p>    “The car is safe and sound in the usual place, Warlock and I have been texting, he’s taking care of order cancellations and put a sign up in the shop. He’s taking care of the inventory as well. I suspect he’ll send a ridiculous bouquet of it soon.” </p>
<p>    “And the most important part?” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “I’m holding up. I feel so much better seeing you awake, hearing your voice. I thought...oh I suppose I’d better tell you what happened in more detail.” Aziraphale told him what happened as far as he could remember, about the picnic and proposal and then the attack and the aftermath.</p>
<p>    “Oh angel I’m so sorry I scared you like that,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “You didn’t have any control over it love.” </p>
<p>    “I should be thankful for your habit of taking random classes. I’m proud of you for staying calm enough to help me. You keep telling me I’m being brave but so are you.” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale gave a little chuckle that turned into a bit of a sob. He kissed Crowley, a proper kiss on the lips and soon after that Crowley drifted to sleep. Aziraphale pulled out a book to read eyeing Crowley’s monitors and listening to make sure he was breathing alright. Tracy came in a few times to glance at the monitors as well and make some notes. </p>
<p>    Crowley woke up in the early evening and said he was hungry. He was able to eat some broth and juice and Tracy promised if it settled well she would try to get him something better for breakfast. </p>
<p>    Aziraphale watched as Crowley fell asleep after he ate and set about doing the paperwork he needed to do and texted Warlock with an update. He made up the little daybed desperately wishing to be home for a good night's sleep but not wanting to leave Crowley alone. </p>
<p>    He woke sometime during the night, suddenly his brain struggling to figure out what had startled him awake. He heard Crowley let out a sob and realized that as what had woken him. </p>
<p>    “Crowley?” Aziraphale made his way to the bed. Crowley was sitting up knees pulled up to his chest head on top trying to cry quietly. He approached calling out Crowely’s name again waiting for Crowley to look up. </p>
<p>    “Do you need some privacy love or…?” </p>
<p>    Crowley scooted over on the bed making room for Aziraphale to sit, Aziraphale situated himself on the bed and Crowley leaned heavily into him. </p>
<p>    “I don’t...I don’t remember proposing!” Crowley sobbed. </p>
<p>    “Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale began rubbing his back. </p>
<p>    “I know I’m lucky, I almost died...could’ve been worse but…” Crowley choked on a sob. </p>
<p>    “Oh dear it’s alright to be upset over that, it’s alright to be emotional,” Aziraphale said. It wasn’t long before Tracy came in, Crowley’s fast breathing had triggered an alarm. He looked up at Tracy and blushed, burying his face in Aziraphale’s shoulder. </p>
<p>    “He’s having a moment,” Aziraphale said, “It’s all catching up to him what happened, what could have.” </p>
<p>    “Oh poor love, it’s alright to let it all out,” Tracy said, moving to get a box of tissues and bringing it over along with a glass of water, “Just make sure you get all the gunk out. You’re not in pain or having trouble breathing?”</p>
<p>    “N...no...just upset.” </p>
<p>    “That’s completely understandable love, Aziraphale can stay in bed with you and help you get calmed down. If he sounds congested afterwards let me know,” Tracy said and left. </p>
<p>    Crowley sniffled then moved to grab a bunch of tissues to blow his nose, “I feel stupid.” </p>
<p>    “You’re not, this whole thing is upsetting and it’s good to let it out. Is there anything I can do to make it better?”</p>
<p>    “Just stay. I love you.” </p>
<p>    “I love you too Crowley.” </p>
<p>    They fell into a comfortable silence with Crowley calming down and eventually falling asleep in Aziraphale’s arms. Aziraphale stayed awake long enough to make sure that Crowley was alright, made sure that he was breathing alright, and that he hadn’t jumbled any of his IV lines. Aziraphale ran a hand through Crowley’s hair and whispered small encouragements until he too fell asleep. </p>
<p>    Morning brought the RT back in going through some tests with Crowley and breathing exercises to help him recover. After breakfast Doctor Michaels had some cognitive tests for Crowley. </p>
<p>    Crowley remembered up to the day before the incident, remembered details from when he woke up and what had been happening, and had no trouble working the tv remote. Crowley unlocked his phone with ease and navigated to his email and sent a text to Aziraphale. </p>
<p>    “I’m...uh...having a little trouble reading,” Crowley said quietly. </p>
<p>    “How so?” Michaels asked. </p>
<p>    “I’m having to read each sentence a couple times before it sticks and some words look...weird.” </p>
<p>    “Try reading out loud.” </p>
<p>    “A little better,” Crowley said after he’d done so. </p>
<p>    “Alright I’ll make a note. We’ll get you in touch with a therapist that can help, it’s a very common occurrence and often one that can be helped. Now Tracy made some notes that you got emotional last night. Is that different for you?”</p>
<p>    “No...no ugh that’s usual,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “It’s kind of hard to judge mood stability in the hospital, this is a difficult situation. But if you notice any mental changes don’t hesitate to reach out. Now how about we get you out of that bed?” </p>
<p>    Crowley smiled, “That would be nice.” </p>
<p>    Michaels lowered the bed so Crowley didn’t have to jump down and helped him swing the IV pole around. Crowley was smiling as he stretched his legs out in preparation. When he was ready Aziraphale held out a hand to help him steady himself. </p>
<p>    Crowley stood and took a single small step before stopping. He took a quick inhale of breath and cursed under his breath. </p>
<p>    “Crowley?” </p>
<p>    “Dizzy...bad.” </p>
<p>    “Alright step back, there you are, and sit,” Aziraphale said. Michaels took Crowley’s blood pressure which was normal as where his heart rate and breathing. </p>
<p>    “Would you like to try with a walker, see if it dissipates?” Michaels asked. </p>
<p>    “Sure…” Crowley said but didn’t seem like he was sure at all. He was gripping Aziraphale’s hand hard and staring off into space with a frown on his face. </p>
<p>    With the walker he was able to make it to the door and back to the bed but it was slow going. </p>
<p>    “Still dizzy, but this helps,” Crowley said, “Will this go away?”</p>
<p>    “It’s hard to say, but we’ll work on it,” Michaels said. </p>
<p>    Crowley sighed, “How long am I going to be here?”</p>
<p>    “Another day or so I’d say. Most of the recovery therapy will be outpatient,” Michaels said. </p>
<p>    “Good...I want to go home,” Crowley said. He gasped a moment later, “I won’t...I can’t drive like this can I?”</p>
<p>    “I wouldn’t recommend it right away,” Michaels said. </p>
<p>    “Will I be able to? Eventually?” Crowley asked, voice wavering and eyes filling with tears. </p>
<p>    “You might, but these things are hard to predict,” Michaels said. </p>
<p>    The tears slipped free from Crowley’s eyes and he buried his face in his hands as he let out a sob.</p>
<p>    “I’m sorry,” he said, “It’s stupid.” </p>
<p>    “It’s not stupid if dirving is important to you,” Doctor Michaels said gently, “We can work on this.” </p>
<p>    Crowley wiped the tears from his face, “Sorry. Just frustrated.” </p>
<p>    “Don’t worry about it, just concentrate on getting better,” Aziraphale said. Doctor Michaels checked a few more things and then promised to move Crowley to a private room for the last day or so which seemed to cheer Crowley up a little bit. </p>
<p>    “I’m sorry angel,” Crowley said, “It’s just getting to me. I know it’s stupid. I almost died. I could have ended up in a coma forever, or not able to speak or eat or something. It’s just a lot.” </p>
<p>    “I can’t even imagine darling, but I’m here for you. While I was waiting to hear if you’d...if you were alright I prayed. And I promised myself that I would stand by you no matter what. And I stand by that. There might be struggles ahead with this but one thing you don’t have to worry about is losing me. You are the love of my life Crowley and I am here for you, however I can be.” </p>
<p>    Crowley let out a relieved sigh, “Thank you Aziraphale. I knew that but it is good to hear it. I love you.” </p>
<p>Three years later</p>
<p>    Aziraphale grabbed the picnic basket from the backseat of the Bentley with a smile. It was a beautiful summer day, a perfect day for a picnic. </p>
<p>    Crowley got out from the driver’s seat of the Bentley reaching behind him to grab his cane. There were days when Crowley barely had to use it and other days where the dizzy spells were bad enough that he leaned heavily on it, but getting to a place where he could drive again had been what Crowley really wanted. </p>
<p>    They sat near the river, throwing seeds and bits of fruit to the ducks that were swimming nearby. </p>
<p>    “Angel?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale turned to see Crowley holding out a little box with a smile on his face. Aziraphale smiled at the look. </p>
<p>    “I know you already agreed to marry me, but, will you do me the honor of accepting these,” Crowley said, handing over the box. Aziraphale chuckled slightly as he opened it. </p>
<p>    “Oh! How on earth did you manage these? The tickets sold out in minutes!” </p>
<p>    “I have my ways,” Crowley said. </p>
<p>    “Oh how lovely! Yes, of course I’ll come with you!” Aziraphale said, pulling Crowley in for a kiss. </p>
<p>    Crowley was beaming as he pulled away. Aziraphale knew Crowley still wished he could remember proposing and Aziraphale hoped that this was a nice memory. And he had a feeling that Crowley would do it again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Internal Organ Injury</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Human corporations are tricky to get used to, lots of squishy bits that can get hurt.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale hit the ground hard and rolled over stirring up dust as he finally came to a stop. He sighed, he’d taken his wings in a little too soon but he’d thought he saw people and he’d just gotten in trouble for being spotted with wings out and didn’t want to have to risk Gabriel’s ire again. </p>
<p>    “That was graceful,” a voice said and Aziraphale whirled around. </p>
<p>    “Crawley. That was you? Oh you foul serpent.” </p>
<p>    “I didn’t do anything, you were the one who dive bombed,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “I thought you were a human and I just got in trouble for having a human see me flying and I didn’t want that to happen again,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Well good news is you won’t get in trouble,” Crawley said reaching out his hand. Aziraphale sighed and took it. </p>
<p>    “Oh…” Aziraphale clutched his side as pain shot through his body. He teetered for a few moments then sat back down on the ground. Something was wrong, he’d wounded something. </p>
<p>    “Aziraphale? Did you break something?” </p>
<p>    “I think maybe I did but I’m not sure what,” he said. </p>
<p>    “Any bones? Lots of bones in these bodies,” Crawley said. </p>
<p>    “No not bones,” Aziraphale said, “I think it’s one of the more squishy bits.” </p>
<p>    “Lots of those too. Not even sure what some of them are for to be honest,” Crawley said sitting beside Aziraphale. Aziraphale put his hand over where it hurt the most and tried to figure out what was hurting and how to fix it. The pain was getting worse and he felt a little weak and he didn’t want to discorporate but he didn’t know if he could figure out what to do. </p>
<p>    “Ugh you don’t look very good, can I help?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale scoffed, “Help from a demon.” Crawley looked away into the sand drawing his long legs up and looking hurt. Something in Aziraphale's chest hurt and he didn’t think it had anything to do with his tumble. </p>
<p>    “I suppose. If you could help me figure out what it is that’s hurt,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “I can try,” Crawley said, “Can you lie down or will it hurt?” </p>
<p>    Aziraphale stretched out on the sand with a wince. His whole chest and stomach area felt too warm and too tight and he felt weak and tired and he was probably going to discorporate.</p>
<p>    Crawley put his hand on Aziraphale’s stomach. It didn’t burn or feel any different. Aziraphale thought it might with Crawley being a demon.</p>
<p>    “Oh. There’s a bit of squishy organ by your stomach that’s bleeding. Sss like it popped.” </p>
<p>    “Popped? Well that would explain why it hurts so bad.” </p>
<p>    “Here give me your hand,” Crawley took Aziraphale’s hand and put it above the wounded organ, “Feel it?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale concentrated. He knew where his stomach was and felt near that for the strange organ there and he could feel the pain radiating off of it. </p>
<p>    “Got it,” Aziraphale said. He concentrated on restoring the organ which hurt more than being hurt in the first place but it was over quickly. He tried to stay still for a while panting as he did waiting till everything felt better. </p>
<p>    He sat up and Crawley was watching him, his serpentine eyes not blinking, “Better?”</p>
<p>    “Much. Though I still don’t know what was hurt.” </p>
<p>    Crawley shrugged, “Don’t know. Aziraphale?” </p>
<p>    “Hmmm.” </p>
<p>    “You have heartbeat and you breathe too? Most other demon’s don’t seem to bother. I do. Seems to make humans nervous if you don’t breathe.” </p>
<p>    “I’ve found the same.” </p>
<p>    “Your heart was beating quick and weak. Not good when human hearts do that. Think you almost discorporated.” </p>
<p>    “I believe I almost did,” Aziraphale agreed, “Pay a lot of attention to dying humans?”</p>
<p>    “Out of curiosity. Like to know how things work. Happens so fast sometimes,” Crawley said. Aziraphale nodded. Humans were quite interesting. </p>
<p>“Thank you for helping Crawley.” </p>
<p>    Crawley blushed and shrugged and there was something very endearing about the motion. Aziraphale stood and Crawley stood beside him. </p>
<p>    “I should get going, not safe for us to be together long,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    “Right. Course. See you around Aziraphale.” </p>
<p>    Crawley took to the sky and flew away south where Aziraphale had come from. Aziraphale wondered if it had been any other angel in the area if Crawley would have attacked. Crawley didn’t seem to be much of a fighter and maybe he was just hiding in the hill in case it was a more dangerous angel. Was it a bad thing if Crawley didn’t find him dangerous? And what about him not fearing Crawley. Because he didn’t. Aziraphale was not afraid of Crawley.</p>
<p>    Aziraphale wasn’t disgusted by Crawley either. Not being afraid was one thing but he should have at least been disgusted or repulsed by the demon and he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure what that meant but he couldn’t dwell on it. He had things to do.</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Today's Special: Torture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley wakes up in hell not quite sure what's happening and feeling very, very odd. Final Chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read, gave Kudos, and commented!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley blinked trying to come back to himself and figure out what had just happened. He was somewhere cold and dark and his brain was filled with all sorts of scenes and memories and dreams. Like he had been sleeping for centuries and having nightmares every night. </p>
<p>    Crowley cleared his throat. </p>
<p>    “Crowley?”</p>
<p>    He snapped to attention suddenly realizing he was not alone in the room. He blinked, staring at Beelzebub and Dagon. </p>
<p>    “Did it work?” Dagon asked. </p>
<p>    “SSS sorry I...what are we doing again?” </p>
<p>    “I think it worked,” Beelzebub said, “Look at him. Torture worked.” They both laughed and Crowley frowned which made them laugh harder. After a while they took pity on him a little bit. </p>
<p>    “You...volunteered to try our new torture regime. Brings back painful memories, nightmares and bad feelings. Easier on some of the torture demons with this,” Dagon said. </p>
<p>    “Ah well, yes it worked,” Crowley said, “Had dreams of discorporation and some nightmares.” </p>
<p>    “Nightmares?” </p>
<p>    “Of, uh, losing armageddon and being smote by an angel,” Crowley half lied. </p>
<p>    “Good. Well that’s all zzzettled then,” Beelzebub said, “Get back up to Earth and back to the antichrist. Only three more years to go.” </p>
<p>    “Right,” Crowley said. He still felt dazed as he left Hell and went back to his apartment. He didn’t know how long he had been in Hell. He couldn’t quite remember when he had gone down. </p>
<p>    Flashes of what he had seen kept popping in his mind. The time he had been hung as a witch several times, he and Aziraphale being robbed, the Ark, and the time he had been imprisoned for sixty years. Those were all real; had happened. There were ones that were nightmares, of having Aziraphale reject him or of being summoned and tortured. </p>
<p>    Well he had just been tortured hadn’t he? For experimentation apparently. They said he had volunteered but he didn’t remember doing that. Either way it was over and he tried to push the memories out of his head. </p>
<p>    Some of them weren’t memories though some felt almost like a sort of prophecy but those ones were hard to remember. </p>
<p>    And there were plenty where he was taking care of Aziraphale and the other way around. Some were memories and some were dreams. It didn’t appear that Beelzebub and Dagon had been able to tell what he was dreaming/remembering in the torture session. </p>
<p>    Oh it had all been so very, very strange and he wanted to put the whole thing out of his mind. He picked up his phone. </p>
<p>    “Hello?” </p>
<p>    “Angel…” </p>
<p>    “There you are! You’ve been gone for a solid  month my dear!” </p>
<p>    “Was in hell, they...did something weird to me. Experiment.” </p>
<p>    “Dreadful, I have some updates on the Dowling household if you’d like to come over?” </p>
<p>    “I’d love to,” Crowley said. Crowley made his way to the bookshop as quickly as he could and was glad when he was in the bookshop the door closed behind him. </p>
<p>    “You look terrible dear,” Aziraphale said. </p>
<p>    Crowley laughed, “Thanks angel. I know. Oh they were testing a new torture device on me. Remembered lots of discorporations and injuries. Replayed nightmares. Horrible.” </p>
<p>    “Oh here have a drink dear,” Aziraphale handed Crowely a glass of whiskey and he drank it in one go. </p>
<p>    “Thanks.” </p>
<p>    “They didn’t see any of it did they?” </p>
<p>    “No. Good too since you’ve been with me while discorporating and some of the nightmares have you in them too. Remembered the whole Saint Patrick thing.” </p>
<p>    “Oh that. Bit of a disaster that one wasn't it? For you. It worked out in the end and I’m glad I was able to get you back from that,” Aziraphale said, “Let’s not dwell on any of that now.” </p>
<p>    “Right, we should move on. Been gone a month,” Crowley sighed, running a hand through his hair, “So where are we?”</p>
<p>    Aziraphale gave a rundown of what had happened while Crowley had been in hell both with Warlock and other things that had happened. There was a whole story about a customer that had actually succeeded in buying a book and Aziraphale still couldn’t figure out how the woman had done it. </p>
<p>    Crowley laughed and watched Aziraphale with joy. The torture of the past month or so was getting less and less prominent in his mind. It was good to be back and with the angel. He wished it could be like this forever and hoped if they were doing right with Warlock it would end up that way. That he could be with Aziraphale and that Aziraphale would want to be with him. </p>
<p>    He was fairly certain Aziraphale felt the same way about him and it would be wonderful to live in a world where they didn’t have to be careful and could just be together. </p>
<p>    “Are you alright dear?” </p>
<p>    “Hmm? Oh yeah, getting better angel. Good to be here,” Crowley said. Aziraphale smiled and Crowley’s heart fluttered. It was good to be home.</p>
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